If anybody has read my blog today they will be aware that my great uncle died this aftenoon.

What i want to know is, as Pagans/ Wiccans/ ? how do you celebrate a life or mourn a death? are there any rituals anyone has heard of that can do this?

i understand that for many people this is a sensitive topic and i do not wish to cause any undue grief by asking this question so apologies in advance for any (unintended) offence this topic may cause. I also accept that is people are not comfortable with this topic that they will wish not to participate within it.

This is my first bereavement and i am all at sea.

Arrianwin x

I'm so sorry honey i hope you are ok.
we lost a dear family member recently and celebrated his life by sending up balloons with personal messages attached, it was a very touching moment watching them fly free.
we also made paper boats and put tea lights in them and floated them out to sea, an oriental tradition and that was also very touching.
take care clarysage

**huggles**

Mmm, well my family members died before I'd actually put a name to my beliefs.. however these days, usually around halloween to be honest, I will set up a wee alter with photos, and trinkets I've saved over the years and then I will sit and have a wee think about each of them, maybe a wee cry - although not always, read letters that my father wrote to me at uni... I may even chat to a friend and reminence or to my partner.

I've never tried to "contact" them.. partly because if I tried and failed I think it would make me very very sad.... and well where my mother is concerned.. I don't really want to... I hate to think what she'd say to me! (bit of a fishwife my mother!)

Saying that I do talk to my dad alot.. and I can hear his answers in my head..... although, I think that's more that I was so close to him that I know how he would answer rather than any real pysic connection.



Take your time hon, do what feels sacred and respectful to you.. and don't feel that you have to deny any feelings.. grief isn't jsut about feeling crappy and crying etc... it can also be anger, laughter (often inappropriate.. or seemingly), being scared when face with our mortality etc etc.... the first year is the hardest methinks, its the first anniversary of everything without that person......take comfort in your beliefs but don't expect everyone to share them.. when my father died I mentioned my beliefs on death to my brother.. and he went ballistic..... he thought I was being dellusional and to him plain stupid...

That's my best advice I think.. take as much time as you need to grieve.. and don't let anyone tell you "how" to grieve.. we all do it iin our own ways.

Traditionally, on my father's side, we throw a huge wake, in which all kin and friends are invited to party and discuss their "disbeliefs". Like I said before, they are mostly atheists! Funny though, they do believe in past lives, rather much like a recurring nightmare!

for you hun x

There's quite a few traditions around, depending on your path. As I follow a neo shamanic path I have some research materials on a shamanic approach. (There is a book called Shamanic guide to death and dying.... although seeing as shamanic traditions tend to be based around the culture that incorporates a shaman as an intrinsic part of the community and such cultures are extremely varied it is hard to pin stuff down). I know there are some Wiccan books that have a similar remit. I'm also pretty sure there are Northern tradition practises linked with death and dying.... it is a fascinating field of study, particularly for anyone interested in Pagan chaplaincy.

Something I tend to recommend to people who have suffered a recent bereavement is that they consider how the recently departed has influenced their lives for the better..... what have they taught you that you have incorporated into your life? I suggest they hold on to those aspects and pass them on to others as a living legacy, a way to celebrate the life that has passed and keep a part of that person alive and ongoing.

As another source of information on practises concerning rites of passage you could do a lot worse than visiting LifeRites

BB

Mike

Arrianwin

so sorry to hear your sad news

Personally my beliefs are that when a person dies their 'soul' returns to the 'cosmic soul' and all that they were and experiance is merged back into the greater whole, so no-one is really lost as such.

However on a personal note people are lost to you in that they are no longer there and this alone is enough to grieve.

As such at Samhain I always remember all those I have lose personally and those who have passed in the preceding year.

Remember that while you remember someone they are never truly completely gone

Kev