I have a rather odd query, and I'm wondering if any of you lot can help me shed some light on the matter.

I have been suffering from ill health for a couple of months now, mainly centred around my reproductive system. On the 21st of this month, after a very unpleasant experience at work, I was diagnosed by the emergency duty doctor as having suffered an early miscarriage, based on my statement of what had happened to me that day.

As you may imagine, my partner and I were devastated, and spent a lot of time trying to come to terms with this. We agreed that it would be appropriate to mark the passing of the child, and let him know he was loved and wanted, and help him move on (I believe in reincarnation).

Whilst this was going on, my symptoms did not improve as one would expect, and yesterday I was back at the doctors after things had become so bad I could not go to work. This female doctor (a trained Obs/Gyn) did various unpleasant examinations and gave it as her professional opinion that I had not ever been pregnant, and my symptoms had another cause that is currently being investigated.

It is now far too late for a pregnancy test (one was not done at the time, and in my distress it never even occurred to me) and I may never know what actually happened.

I felt very connected to this child, as something I had nurtured and carried, and I just cannot conceive what to do now that I may never know if he existed. If the Ob/Gyn is right, I have been meditating and connecting with nothing!

I cannot decide whether it is better to proceed with our original plans for a little farewell, to accept it never happened and leave it at that, to investigate the possibilities of having created an entity, if there was not one before.... I don't know, and I would really value some sensible opinions on this.

[cross-posted to a few other sites, so apologies to those who have already read this]

Sounds to me like an infection of sorts, possibly even the early stages of a myoma, considering the period of illness. I had a myoma that led to cronic bladder infection. Things like that can really wreak havoc with one's chemisty. I'd wait for the test results, maybe even go for a CT or ultrasound scan to be on the safe side.

Well it may or may not have been a child, but regardless of whether it existed or not if you do feel that it may have been, that would seem as good a reason to proceed with a farewell.

If it wasnt there then it will do no harm, if it was it would be respectful but either way it would help you to find closure and move on.




Kev

Coz- cheers, that's a sensible way of looking at it.

Quazizoid- thank you for your post, but with all respect I am not on here to get medical answers. I am quite happy to leave that up to the doctors- hence why I have not gone into medical detail. My current concern is with the spiritual side of things.

I'd agree with Cos.

The fact that you felt a connection to me indicates that there was the glimmer of something, whether it was a child or not, and you will feel better I would think if you acknowledged that connection and then released it.

I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time just now, I hope that the docs get you fixed soon.

Its a loss.. regardless of the form that loss takes. You are still saying good bye and the feelings that you have should be given vent.

I agree with Cos, have the farewell.

I agree with cos and the others to, if you felt you had a connection i'm sure it would help you move on and maybe even get better to have a little farewell.

Hope your feeling better soon hun

Have the farewell

I think that as you have made the connection you have to deal with the disconnection. Whether it was physical or not.

As with everyone else I think you should mark the loss with a farewell of your choosing.

(odd advice that works with detecting spirits really well) fill the house with incense smoke (lots of it) and open all the windows. if theres something there youll see, if there isnt you wont.

i agree aswell have the farewell as it will help you as much as it will help the spirit ( if that the right word ) .

all my sympathy goes to you and your partner at this time and i hope i havent said anything that sounds wrong if i have i apologise

BB
Anubis
XXX

Sorry about that, reading of your ill health did cause me concern...but the spiritual advice I intended to leave to those more personally adept in your area of beliefs. Either way I do wish you both physical and spiritual comfort as well as a speedy recovery! (Many Hugs from Quasizoid)

i had what i think was a miscarriage, before i had my first child, we had been trying far abut a year so was much wanted, it was difficult as i was i think about 7 weeks,i did a test but was a very faint positive, i presumed it was because the hormone that is detected(cant remember the name of it) i didnt have enough yet as it was so early ?!

i did mourn the loss, but it does occur to me that it may never have been but that didnt take the emotional pain away.
since having my two children now ages 8 and 10, i now know that even if it was or wasnt a miscarriage, it just wasnt the right time and wasnt meant to be.

i agree, say a farewell, either way its a loss, its either a loss for what could have been, or a loss of what you would have wanted.

oh hon i am so sorry you are dealing with this, i agree have the fairwell, i myself had an early miscarraige before i even new i was pregnant, so i sorta understand what you are going through, (((((hugs)))))

You've become attached hon, whether there was a beginning of a baby or not, it has become real to you, and as such you need to grieve and if doin a ritual will help you then it cannot harm surely?

I think this is one of those intensely personal times when really only you can decide...