Just been to the brother-in-laws funeral, what a farce. 50 minutes talking god’s praises and 5 minutes talking about John……..the best bit was getting stoned with his ex-wife.
On the way home I was chatting to Donna (the ever forgiving wife), how we would like to go. Mine was to have a party in a pub with me in the corner in a wicker coffin and a small gathering in a field and me put under a tree, some where nice.
How would you like to be sent of?
Full Version: Funerals
I dunno really, here in Germany its usually cremation. I kind of fancy the idea of having my ashes scattered on the Rhine.
Last year a dear friend of mine died, after a long spell of declining health. In his younger years, he was a cook in the Foreign Legion, a fair and reasonable man with plenty of character. He feared that if illness overtook him, his daughter would most certainly stick him in the worst possible invalid home, to cash in on his assets. Indeed this happened before anyone had any idea where he disappeared to, until we heard of his demise. At this point the most we could do is give him veteran's ceremony at the funeral. To add insult to injury, his family's chapel service to him was a complete sham. The whole time the preacher kept blabbing on for an hour, questioning the man's integrity to imply he was selfish for abandoning his family to serve in the Foreign Legion. What the preacher didn't mention is what a pompous blood sucking lot they were, for running him so far into debt that the Foreign Legion could only seem a godsend.
Last year a dear friend of mine died, after a long spell of declining health. In his younger years, he was a cook in the Foreign Legion, a fair and reasonable man with plenty of character. He feared that if illness overtook him, his daughter would most certainly stick him in the worst possible invalid home, to cash in on his assets. Indeed this happened before anyone had any idea where he disappeared to, until we heard of his demise. At this point the most we could do is give him veteran's ceremony at the funeral. To add insult to injury, his family's chapel service to him was a complete sham. The whole time the preacher kept blabbing on for an hour, questioning the man's integrity to imply he was selfish for abandoning his family to serve in the Foreign Legion. What the preacher didn't mention is what a pompous blood sucking lot they were, for running him so far into debt that the Foreign Legion could only seem a godsend.
Its cremation for me, I intend to pollute the atmosphere when I go.
The nicest (maybe not the best word to use) funeral I ever attended was my Fathers. He had no religion so I arranged for a Humanist ceremony for him. The man who led the ceremony took loads of notes before hand about fathers life, where he had worked and the places he had lived, his war time military service, his hobbies and interests etc.
At the funeral we had some of his favourite music played and the humanist chap then gave a 10 minute talk about father, telling the what he had done and what he had achieved during his life. It was all about father, not some gloryfying praise of some fictional deity.
Afterwards, even christian friends commented on how good and refreshing the ceremony had been.
Thats more or less the sort of send off that I have planned. A recycled cardboard casket, a few real friends around and a humanist type celebration of my life then my ashes to pollute the Scottish or Derbyshire countryside.
The nicest (maybe not the best word to use) funeral I ever attended was my Fathers. He had no religion so I arranged for a Humanist ceremony for him. The man who led the ceremony took loads of notes before hand about fathers life, where he had worked and the places he had lived, his war time military service, his hobbies and interests etc.
At the funeral we had some of his favourite music played and the humanist chap then gave a 10 minute talk about father, telling the what he had done and what he had achieved during his life. It was all about father, not some gloryfying praise of some fictional deity.
Afterwards, even christian friends commented on how good and refreshing the ceremony had been.
Thats more or less the sort of send off that I have planned. A recycled cardboard casket, a few real friends around and a humanist type celebration of my life then my ashes to pollute the Scottish or Derbyshire countryside.
So many choices really.
I like the atypical woodlands burial in a wicker (he he have just typed wicca 3 times and kept thinking that doesn't look right) coffin. I also want leeks and bubbles. People can give me flowers while I'm alive thank you very much.
However, being made into a diamond sound quite interesting.
But my latest death fad is Plastination, I just think, having always had a a kind of 'cat in the hat' kind of personality i.e. 'look at me look at me look at me now' it rather appeals to me the idea of being able to invite everyone to look inside me. Way cool. Friends could visit and have a bit of chat whilst pondering my spleen.
http://www.bodyworlds.com/en/exhibitions/c...xhibitions.html
Q
I like the atypical woodlands burial in a wicker (he he have just typed wicca 3 times and kept thinking that doesn't look right) coffin. I also want leeks and bubbles. People can give me flowers while I'm alive thank you very much.
However, being made into a diamond sound quite interesting.
But my latest death fad is Plastination, I just think, having always had a a kind of 'cat in the hat' kind of personality i.e. 'look at me look at me look at me now' it rather appeals to me the idea of being able to invite everyone to look inside me. Way cool. Friends could visit and have a bit of chat whilst pondering my spleen.
http://www.bodyworlds.com/en/exhibitions/c...xhibitions.html
Q
Now that is one cool exhibition Q, there was one around Germany a few years back. Saw the full length documentary on German TV. Very impressive! 
By the time my body gets to be disposed of 'I' will be long gone... to whatever happens next.... that last great adventure of this cycle of life.
So to a point I don't really care much what happens to my carcuss. Any pretty words or ceromonies will be more for the people left behind... and to a degree organised by them regardless of what I may have spoken about, written down or requested.
But after all that, the best I can hope for is some kind of humanist service and either a burial in some woodland (in cardboard, wicker, or just a shroud) or a quick trip up the Crem Chimney... followed by sprikling of the solids in said woodland.
Plant me a yew tree and I'll be happy enough.
Although there is a certian apeal to a pagan saxon burial... a chance to take sword, shield and spear to the next realm... along with a few other bits... maybe even get dug up in a few hundred years time and really confuse the achologists (A Saxon in the 2000's?!?)
Be bright, be bold
Fillionous
So to a point I don't really care much what happens to my carcuss. Any pretty words or ceromonies will be more for the people left behind... and to a degree organised by them regardless of what I may have spoken about, written down or requested.
But after all that, the best I can hope for is some kind of humanist service and either a burial in some woodland (in cardboard, wicker, or just a shroud) or a quick trip up the Crem Chimney... followed by sprikling of the solids in said woodland.
Plant me a yew tree and I'll be happy enough.
Although there is a certian apeal to a pagan saxon burial... a chance to take sword, shield and spear to the next realm... along with a few other bits... maybe even get dug up in a few hundred years time and really confuse the achologists (A Saxon in the 2000's?!?)
Be bright, be bold
Fillionous
I'm conducting a funeral next Monday. As has been said, the funeral rite is usually more about trying to comfort the living rather than the deceased, who is off on whatever adventure awaits when we shuffle from this mortal coil, or if there is nothing beyond death, it doesn't matter too much anyway.
The ceremony I am taking on Monday is mostly humanist, or where spirituality is touched upon, it is a very general form with no comment on specific gods.
Rhiannon
The ceremony I am taking on Monday is mostly humanist, or where spirituality is touched upon, it is a very general form with no comment on specific gods.
Rhiannon
Not really bothered - will go along with what my relatives want. If they cremate me I think I'd like to be scattered on Ilkley moor.
fizzy
fizzy
I have to say at the risk of sounding completely unoriginal i would have what Seawolf is having.
Hubbard and I recently discussed this very topic at the beginning of the year due to all of the funerals we had been to recently (see blog).
I think that i would like everyone to wear their favorite bright colour. But at am a bit of a loss to decide upon music.
I do know that i would expect hubbard to lay on a Disco. And a buffet, and someone would have to make a speech to thank everyone for coming and say a wee bit about me.
I don't want to be mourned for leaving - i want to be celebrated for having arrived and then having a good time!
We could start a list . . .. . . . . .
anything by Funeral for a Friend
"wuthering heights" Kate Bush
"moonlght shadow" etc
In all seriousness i would have Sugr Ros hippopola and the jangly song about a butterfly by the Cosmic Rough Riders (cant remember what its called though)
E xx (edited for rubbish spelling)
Hubbard and I recently discussed this very topic at the beginning of the year due to all of the funerals we had been to recently (see blog).
I think that i would like everyone to wear their favorite bright colour. But at am a bit of a loss to decide upon music.
I do know that i would expect hubbard to lay on a Disco. And a buffet, and someone would have to make a speech to thank everyone for coming and say a wee bit about me.
I don't want to be mourned for leaving - i want to be celebrated for having arrived and then having a good time!
We could start a list . . .. . . . . .
anything by Funeral for a Friend
"wuthering heights" Kate Bush
"moonlght shadow" etc
In all seriousness i would have Sugr Ros hippopola and the jangly song about a butterfly by the Cosmic Rough Riders (cant remember what its called though)
E xx (edited for rubbish spelling)
Whilst the idea of a big party might sound appealing, in reality, most of those close to you will still be too wounded, hurt, angry and grieving at the time of the funeral to really feel in a party mood and enforced joviality is not healthy. It might be better to allow the grieving to take place and tell your friends to have a big party for you on the date of your birthday, or the anniversary of your death. Just a suggestion.
bb
Rhiannon
bb
Rhiannon
that - my learned friend - is a very good idea!!!
and it wasn't cosmic rough riders it was The Magnetic Fields and thier song "all my little words"
LOL
where did i leave my brain this afternoon!
E xxx
I think to be honest I will opt for a cremation and scatter my ashes from the top of Otley Chevin, I loved being up there as a child and still do enjoy the views across the valley. while my ashes are scattered I would like Bilbo's party speech from Lord of the Rings read out, or the 'All that's Gold' verse, maybe both
edited for typo's
edited for typo's
I've let it be known that I do NOT want to be buried according to Christian rites or in a Christian cemetary (they're too like multi-story car parks).
If possible, I'd like my Pagan friends to put the coins on my eyes for the Ferryman. I want to be buried in Argyll if possible, and just gently decompose and return to earth
If I can't be buried there, then cremated and scattered there. Don't want any marker, any grave, just to let people remember me as and how they would like.
If possible, I'd like my Pagan friends to put the coins on my eyes for the Ferryman. I want to be buried in Argyll if possible, and just gently decompose and return to earth
If I can't be buried there, then cremated and scattered there. Don't want any marker, any grave, just to let people remember me as and how they would like.
great, someone has been reading my mind, i was thinking of bringing this subject up. how would i like to go, well i,ve been thinking about this for a few years and heres how i want it done.
1) my body parts to be removed and put in Egyptian canpic jars (with the four sons of Horus to protect me).
2) my body to be mummified
3) next my mummy is to be cremated in an open woodmans fire ( a charcoal fire will do).
4) last of all my ashes to be thrown to the air, into the sea and buried. Basicaly from mother Earths elements I came and thats how i want to be sent on my journey into the next world.
1) my body parts to be removed and put in Egyptian canpic jars (with the four sons of Horus to protect me).
2) my body to be mummified
3) next my mummy is to be cremated in an open woodmans fire ( a charcoal fire will do).
4) last of all my ashes to be thrown to the air, into the sea and buried. Basicaly from mother Earths elements I came and thats how i want to be sent on my journey into the next world.
I plan to have a humanist funeral, that way no one can get anything wrong & mention Gods/Goddess I don't want mentioning.
This way people, if they care to come, will put up with any poetry & music I wish to have. Bliss because in life no one was interested in my tastes, so they can suffer . I will insist no one wears black & they should be happy because this old misery's gone, but ready to haunt at a minutes notice.
This way people, if they care to come, will put up with any poetry & music I wish to have. Bliss because in life no one was interested in my tastes, so they can suffer . I will insist no one wears black & they should be happy because this old misery's gone, but ready to haunt at a minutes notice.
Nice little woodland funeral, wicker coffin and the like, tree instead of flowers please...and i'd be sure to mention in my will or some such somewhere that it's ok to remember the good times and laugh! not that my mum gets into hysterics again like the day my grandma died because people aren't 'grieving properly'
If she's still alive by then, if not my family will do that anyway
Priests can just stay away, thank you very much!
If people wish they can talk themselves, don't see why they should pay money to someone who never knew me.
Afterwards food and drink for the lot, real food, not just cake if you please.
And please!-not on a sunday, i hate sundays!
If she's still alive by then, if not my family will do that anyway
Priests can just stay away, thank you very much!
If people wish they can talk themselves, don't see why they should pay money to someone who never knew me.
Afterwards food and drink for the lot, real food, not just cake if you please.
And please!-not on a sunday, i hate sundays!
I'd also like a wicker coffin, woodland, and so on. If we can't afford that then they could dry me out and use me as a lampstand!
I'd also like "I'm Bored" by the Bonzo Dog Band played.
I'd also like "I'm Bored" by the Bonzo Dog Band played.
QUOTE(Mrs Plinks @ Apr 4 2007, 02:20 PM)
If people wish they can talk themselves, don't see why they should pay money to someone who never knew me.
This made me smile. There was a noticeable raising of eyebrows at the funeral I did on Monday when those who didn't know me found out I actually knew the guy I was taking the service for and could speak about him as a person without relying on notes from the family!
bb
Rhiannon
Does anyone watch Nip / Tuck?
SPOLIER
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This weeks episode involved a woman whose partner had died and been creamated. She had saline breast implants which she wanted the surgeons to remove, then she wanted the ashes mixed with saline and put back in. The twist was she wasn't the man's wife, but the mistress and the wife what the ashes out and returned.
I'm so glad Mr Queenie is really squeamish...cos I so think that he would like to go and spent his eternity in my bossom...
Q
SPOLIER
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This weeks episode involved a woman whose partner had died and been creamated. She had saline breast implants which she wanted the surgeons to remove, then she wanted the ashes mixed with saline and put back in. The twist was she wasn't the man's wife, but the mistress and the wife what the ashes out and returned.
I'm so glad Mr Queenie is really squeamish...cos I so think that he would like to go and spent his eternity in my bossom...
Q
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