http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/07/27/ancient_phallus/
Full Version: Trust The Germans!
Well, they Germans are renowned for their inventiveness!
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/07/27/ancient_phallus/
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/07/27/ancient_phallus/
mmm. highly polished. 
wonder if they do one at tescos - cos twenty eight thousand years - good value for money there.
fizzy
wonder if they do one at tescos - cos twenty eight thousand years - good value for money there.
fizzy
I read this article and I couldn't help laughing, the way the article was written!! And being very juvenile, the word 'schlong' just makes me crease up with laughter. You know the more you say a word the funnier it sounds? Well that word does that to me!! Sorry.
Forgive me!
Blessings, Araminta. xx
Forgive me!
Blessings, Araminta. xx
Oh no! I feel a schlong coming on! (Yikesy...)
The bit that got me was,
"the German sausage bears the scars of having been used to knap flints"
which is enough to bring a tear to a glass eye!
The bit that got me was,
"the German sausage bears the scars of having been used to knap flints"
which is enough to bring a tear to a glass eye!
Imagine the poor woman who had to sit around for 28,000 years waiting for someone to invent the battery!
TRust you Andy! PML!
Andy, you're soooooo rude!!! lol.
BB Araminta. xx
BB Araminta. xx
Spot the double entendres, fnnarr fnnarr 
Well, she's sitting there waiting for hubby to invent the battery while he's busy knapping his flints!
Even in those days the man got his rocks off first!
Anyway Tas, to which particular pagan path was this supposed to refer?
Even in those days the man got his rocks off first!
Anyway Tas, to which particular pagan path was this supposed to refer?
Well, I had wondered about Tantra? Or any of the fertility based religions. Which kinda leaves most options open, so to speak... 
QUOTE(andy9xyz @ Apr 11 2007, 03:58 PM)
Anyway Tas, to which particular pagan path was this supposed to refer?
28,000 years ago? Try Upper-paleolithic!
Upper something anyway!
Is tantra the plural of tantrum?
Is tantra the plural of tantrum?
QUOTE(andy9xyz @ Apr 11 2007, 02:37 PM)
Imagine the poor woman who had to sit around for 28,000 years waiting for someone to invent the battery!
Yep its a 'schlong' old time to wait...
Q
QUOTE(andy9xyz @ Apr 11 2007, 11:13 PM)
Upper something anyway!
Is tantra the plural of tantrum?
Is tantra the plural of tantrum?
Probably - if you're the guy at the end screaming "Form a circle lads!"
Just thought it might kick off a few views on how Tantra, fertility magic, etcetera has been using such objects - for worship - throughout the ages SINCE, for instance, the Upper-paleolithic age....
Into my mind springs not only the phallus, but also the Sheila na gig figures, various "Venus" of wherever statues, the Indian yoni/lingam arrangements found in villages, temples etc.
Polishing the penis
Shining up the schlong
Hubbies gone to Tesco
I hope he won't be long
Our tube of KY is all gone
This thing's a trifle wide
Although the length is perfect
It will never slide inside
Without the help of lubricant
I'll be a trifle sore
I wish hubby would come back
He's so long at the store
At last ! he's back
In length and width it fully fills my cup
Oh my Gods ! It's ecstasy
But ! he might have warmed it up.
dav
Shining up the schlong
Hubbies gone to Tesco
I hope he won't be long
Our tube of KY is all gone
This thing's a trifle wide
Although the length is perfect
It will never slide inside
Without the help of lubricant
I'll be a trifle sore
I wish hubby would come back
He's so long at the store
At last ! he's back
In length and width it fully fills my cup
Oh my Gods ! It's ecstasy
But ! he might have warmed it up.
dav
Lamo what a lovely poem
Perhaps our prehistoric ancestresses (did I just make up a word?) were a triffle rampant and this was created so the poor hunters could get a bit of shut eye...
I have a lovely roman text of two women talking about the virtues of a rather stiff leather dildo... shall have to find it and post it.
Ah nothing ever changes
temps
Perhaps our prehistoric ancestresses (did I just make up a word?) were a triffle rampant and this was created so the poor hunters could get a bit of shut eye...
I have a lovely roman text of two women talking about the virtues of a rather stiff leather dildo... shall have to find it and post it.
Ah nothing ever changes
temps
I wouldn't let my hubby use MY schlong for flint knapping!
Davkin, too funny!!! And also very rude!!!lol
Blessings, Minty. xx
Blessings, Minty. xx
A wee song*, for the musically inclined...
Some call it “schlong”
Some call it “dong”
And use it whilst their men are gone.
Seems Stone Age man invented toys
And ever since we’ve loved the joys
Of errant husband’s “knapping”ploys!
Things haven’t changed –
No, not one whit,
We’ll always want that “extra bit”
And though technology’s advanced,
And to Ann Summers now we prance,
This tool was just the prototype,
The fun’s the same, despite the hype!
* To be hummed to the strains of "diddly dum dildoe by day and by night" <-- weel kent Scottish jig. (Honest!)
Some call it “schlong”
Some call it “dong”
And use it whilst their men are gone.
Seems Stone Age man invented toys
And ever since we’ve loved the joys
Of errant husband’s “knapping”ploys!
Things haven’t changed –
No, not one whit,
We’ll always want that “extra bit”
And though technology’s advanced,
And to Ann Summers now we prance,
This tool was just the prototype,
The fun’s the same, despite the hype!
* To be hummed to the strains of "diddly dum dildoe by day and by night" <-- weel kent Scottish jig. (Honest!)
I'm so glad we've entered the stone age
Let it be understood
I much prefer the polished granite
To that old fashioned splintery wood
wayhay we're on a roll
dav
Let it be understood
I much prefer the polished granite
To that old fashioned splintery wood
wayhay we're on a roll
dav
QUOTE(davkin @ Apr 12 2007, 04:49 PM)
I'm so glad we've entered the stone age
Let it be understood
I much prefer the polished granite
To that old fashioned splintery wood
wayhay we're on a roll
dav
Let it be understood
I much prefer the polished granite
To that old fashioned splintery wood
wayhay we're on a roll
dav
Come the iron age
And fun it's not.
Left too near the fire
It becomes damn hot!
Then came the blessed Celts
With their fancy bronze and brass
Just be careful where you put it !
dum de dum de dum
sorry, isn't it annoying when the muse just abandons you in midstream
dav
With their fancy bronze and brass
Just be careful where you put it !
dum de dum de dum
sorry, isn't it annoying when the muse just abandons you in midstream
dav
you lot !
Oy, you've missed out the bronze schlong!
Then came Sheila na gig -
She was game for a frig,
And keen on exposing her parts (da de dum)
But the monks they had fits
At the sight of her t...s -
The repressive and boring old farts!
Yup, definately onna roll here!
(I blame it on that House of Thwax meself, highly invidious!)
She was game for a frig,
And keen on exposing her parts (da de dum)
But the monks they had fits
At the sight of her t...s -
The repressive and boring old farts!
Yup, definately onna roll here!
(I blame it on that House of Thwax meself, highly invidious!)
Wood and stone and steel and bronze
Have all been used down the years
But nothing beats the little pink rabbit
With it's lovely tickly ears
so I've been told
Have all been used down the years
But nothing beats the little pink rabbit
With it's lovely tickly ears
so I've been told
Apart from imagination maybe?!
QUOTE(davkin @ Apr 13 2007, 08:10 AM)
Wood and stone and steel and bronze
Have all been used down the years
But nothing beats the little pink rabbit
With it's lovely tickly ears
so I've been told
Have all been used down the years
But nothing beats the little pink rabbit
With it's lovely tickly ears
so I've been told
i like that one. the poem I mean
fizzy
QUOTE(davkin @ Apr 12 2007, 04:49 PM)
I'm so glad we've entered the stone age
Let it be understood
I much prefer the polished granite
To that old fashioned splintery wood
wayhay we're on a roll
dav
Let it be understood
I much prefer the polished granite
To that old fashioned splintery wood
wayhay we're on a roll
dav
Like these ones you mean?
http://www.woodpeckersroost.com/
QUOTE(Kristofski @ Apr 13 2007, 12:48 PM)
QUOTE(davkin @ Apr 12 2007, 04:49 PM)
I'm so glad we've entered the stone age
Let it be understood
I much prefer the polished granite
To that old fashioned splintery wood
wayhay we're on a roll
dav
Let it be understood
I much prefer the polished granite
To that old fashioned splintery wood
wayhay we're on a roll
dav
Like these ones you mean?
http://www.woodpeckersroost.com/
Wow I bought one just like the tall one on the right from Njord at the Scarborough Moot before last, he had made it with an ebony tip.
He told me it was a sceptre or wand !
dav
Sod it! Can't I just have a chocolate one?
Far more satisfying ( and it would look good on my chocolate alter along with my choclate dietys)
Barn * such indigestion*
Far more satisfying ( and it would look good on my chocolate alter along with my choclate dietys)
Barn * such indigestion*
I entered Dildo into Google Map.
There is a town called Dildo in Newfoundland.
and
I
kid
you
not!
It is located between Conception Bay and Placentia Bay.
Too weird for me .. off to catch the train to Newcastle.
dav
There is a town called Dildo in Newfoundland.
and
I
kid
you
not!
It is located between Conception Bay and Placentia Bay.
Too weird for me .. off to catch the train to Newcastle.
dav
QUOTE(davkin @ Apr 12 2007, 01:21 PM)
Polishing the penis
Shining up the schlong
Hubbies gone to Tesco
I hope he won't be long
Our tube of KY is all gone
This thing's a trifle wide
Although the length is perfect
It will never slide inside
Without the help of lubricant
I'll be a trifle sore
I wish hubby would come back
He's so long at the store
At last ! he's back
In length and width it fully fills my cup
Oh my Gods ! It's ecstasy
But ! he might have warmed it up.
dav
Shining up the schlong
Hubbies gone to Tesco
I hope he won't be long
Our tube of KY is all gone
This thing's a trifle wide
Although the length is perfect
It will never slide inside
Without the help of lubricant
I'll be a trifle sore
I wish hubby would come back
He's so long at the store
At last ! he's back
In length and width it fully fills my cup
Oh my Gods ! It's ecstasy
But ! he might have warmed it up.
dav
dav & Tas
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