Reading an article from a particular magazine, I related to many of the problems written by the author and I realised that I had many of the same fears. For example,
I too live in a very non Pagan and very 'churchy' area, I hide some of my 'pagan' books (mines are at the very back of the bookshelf), and I have the fear of anyone finding out incase that might cause bullying at school.

My questions are:

How do/did you mange to fit your practices around a busy lifestyle ?

Are you open to your children about your beliefs and if so, from what age did they know?

Do you instill your ideas or beliefs in your children, and do you involve them in any way?

Have any of your children influenced you into Paganism?

#1 I don't know, I just manage to fit it in. My weekends can be quite busy, especially if I am on a foraging/brewing drive. If I am not knackered after work I also tend to get a lot done, but that tends to be in the summer. Winter is a time for relaxing and drawing back for me.

So in short - I am busy now. What am I doing online with you lot?

#2 & #3 I used to take my daughter with me to the Open Circles when they were still going on, but the older she got, the less she wanted to get involved. I believe it is very important that children get to choose what religion, if any, they want to follow. My daughter has spoken to her RE teacher to ask why there is no paganism on the curriculum but was fobbed off, and I don't really care enoiugh to pursue it. She made it clear though that, right now, she has no belief.

#4 No, I have been a witch longer than she has been alive. Having children does open your eyes to various things yoiu may have missed though.

igrew up a christian, not until i was older did i realise i was a witch woo, i'm open about my belief if people ask i will tell them. if they find it funny, scary whatever thats their choice. i got nothing to hide.

i'm very open with my kids about it. i treat them with alot of natural remedies, i never seem to have calpol in the house. my OH is also open about his belief's as well. my eldest is 14 and very interested in our paths, asks a million questions. i have hunted out books for him so he can read up on things and make his own mind up.

i explain it's just my choice and when they ar old enough they will make their own choices. they dont get bullied at school, they dont go round saying my mummy is a witch and she will turn you into a toad, i think this stems from the fact i have involved them in collecting the herbs and oils and the mixing and crushing. they see then its not so 'harry potter' and accept it as the norm.

the parents of their friends know what i am and do, they are a little scpetical, but they accept it and i always have a house full of kids. now i get phonecalls with what can i use to treat such and such.

the balance is just to let them be kids my lot have the normal stuff their friends have. they also have a great love of the outdoors, my youngest is a girl who collects bugs in the garden her favorites are the woogalouses (woodlouse to us) we got her a pajama case from ikea that was a woodlouse, she loves it.

kids are forced to 'grow up' so fast these days that their childhood is robbed. i love kids to get dirty in the garden or down the beach.

sorry if i've rambled on
its just a subject close to my heart, cos first thing i'm a mum, my path is just a way of life the kids and i stumble along

I'm a stay at home mum and we are attachment parenting our son (co-sleeping, long term breastfeeding, baby wearing, museli weaving - that kind of scenario ) I fit my practice in as I go along in the day. I say a prayer as I wash, we go each morning to the window and I hold him up and talk about the day that's here and what it's like and what we're going to do in it. I point out all sorts of natural stuff when we're out and about and try to get him interested. He sees me bless our food and cleanse our home as part of the normal everyday chores. He happily chomps on my Thorshammer as I carry him in the sling.

My boy is only just one so he hasn't started to question what we do. I think our faith is quite apparent in our home. Both husband and I have far too many books to hide on everything from Sagas to Aleister Crowley. Literally shelves and shelves. There is an altar in the living room and various Pagany type bits and pieces round about. He'll grow up seeing us use natural remedies, herbs and oils etc and crystals. We both have a bindrune pendant that we had made for our engagement so that kind of thing is all around him. I'm hoping he'll grow up accepting it as normal and be able to take something good from it even if his path is a different one.

We have taken him already to two open circles and I'm hoping that's something we can do in the future so that he sees it as something practised outside the family as well, and gets other perspectives. We're planning to home educate, precisely because of the rate at which children are forced to grow up in our society, and I'm going to teach him as much as I can about different spiritual paths so that he can make his own mind up about what he needs to do in his own life. I would never pressure him to take up our faith, although I'm hoping to interest him in the Runes, and the Tarot and the Kabbalah as part of his education, just because it's interesting stuff and handy to know. If he'd rather do rocket science or animal husbandry then so be it. I do expect him to follow our moral code, as any parent would whether founded in paganism or not.

He has influenced both our paths I think, as deciding to have a child has made us consolidate what was rather a mish mash into a more coherent family faith, and establish stuff like which festivals we were going to celebrate and when and how. It's also made us seek to celebrate with others for the first time, and become even more open about our faith to the outside world. All my friends, GP, Health Visitor etc know we're a Pagan family and we haven't had any negative experiences so far. I don't want to have to get him to hide stuff from others as he gets older.

There are other things about us that mark us out culturally - I don't wear make up or normal girls' clothes or all that stuff, husband has waist length hair and also dresses a bit oddly (waistcoat & pocket watch ) and I'm heavily tattooed and pierced so I wonder sometimes at what stage will he realise that we differ from Joe and Joanne Normal and if he'll come to resent it. He'll probably rebel by becoming a Jehova's Witness property agent

I wasnt a part of the pagan community when my two eldist were growing up and although I spoke openly about my beliefs and they knew I was somewhat odd and different (so they said) to other moms, I dont remember paganism per se even being spoken about.

They have subsequently met some of my Pagan friends and judge them not on what they believe but who they are as human beings.

My eldist daughter is a practising Christian and my youngest daughter is incredibly indifferent to anything remotely called religion.

However by the time my lad was a youngster I was more active in the pagan world and now he is an adult (19) I'm afraid he is extremely disenchanted and rates himself as agnostic.

So I didnt fit my practises around my kids. Not that I had any practises as such anyway and they just knew Mom was doing "stuff". They still call it stuff and still dont use the "W" word when asked about me, preferring to tell their friends I'm slightly odd and a bit of an old hippie

But I have always been open to my kids, not just about my spiritual beliefs, but my political and moral ones also. In fact I dont remember anything which I felt the need not to discuss openly with them

1. dunno my 'practices' are pretty much part of me anyway ~ there's no real line between a normal busy day and anything else

2. always been open from the word go, they see what I do as being as 'normal' as their Dad watching 'songs of praise'

3. what I do do is try and instill into them a sense of self worth and the difference between right and wrong ~ what they believe is their choice

4. same as Wyrdwoman here in that I've been me a lot longer then the kids have been alive but having children definately opens your eyes to things you may have missed.

I dont think children should be force fed a religion.

As Prof Dawkins says " they are not xian children or Muslim children etc, they are the children of Xian parents etc etc".
You cant expect children to vote for a gov' so how can you expect children to have a religion when they dont have the reasoning facultys in place for such a complex issue.

Childhood indoctrination is just plain wrong in my opinion irrespective of the religion. A form of abuse I reckon. Kids will believe anything an adult will tell them, which can be abused by overtly religious individuals. Why poison their innocent young minds full of wonder and magick with some of the nonsense bounded around by the organised religions.

My kids know what I do, I dont force them to accept anything and I expect them to question everything!

Runs for cover

No need to run for cover, this is your opinion

Not sure how well I can answer this, as I don't have children, but I do very much hope to one day.

I consider myself very lucky that I was raised an agnostic. Both my parents believe in something, but they don't know what. That always led me to question things (used to get in trouble at school for asking the local vicar too many questions, but he never seemed to mind), and is wholly responsible for me being where I am today. I really can't be more grateful to my parents for that.

As for if I had kids, I certainly wouldn't raise them pagan. I wouldn't hide things from them (but I probably wouldn't expose them to all aspects of my path), and I'd certainly talk to them about my beliefs, but at the same time I'd want to instill in them the same thirst for exploration as my parents instilled in me. No disprespect to anyone that's been raised with specific religous and/or spiritual views, but I think if they're just handed to you on a plate like that, it's not really much to do with self discovery. (and is it any wonder so many people here who have been raised X denomination have found themselves changing their beliefs? Would you want that to happen with your children too?)

I'd find the fact that someone believes something just because I do rather frightening actually.

Seems to be a concurrent theme that there's a single unifying universal truth out there. I strongly believe there is one, but I strongly believe that the single universal unifying truth is that there isn't one, if that makes sense?

think I may be going a little off topic now, ao I'll leave it there


Oh and to answer question 1 - It's something I always carry with me, something I'm always doing. I really don't have a busy lifestyle at the moment, but tehre's no differentiation. It's something I am rather than something I do.

Nope, no need to run, I agree with you. However children learn through what they see as well as what a parent says and so its very hard not to have an influence on them in respect of this (or anything else actually)

So I found it was important to keep a balance and to let them know that whatever they decided was ok. But that it should come from an informed stand point and not one of ignorance.

I don't have children yet but my fiance and I have discussed the topic and how we both feel about certain issues that may crop up when raising children. The religion thing has been one of the biggest as both myself and my fiance are both Heathen and we have very strong beliefs.

The first thing that we decided is that they will be raised in a Heathen environment because after all....we are both Heathens. They will be raised with Heathen values because the values of, frith, taking care of your community and personal responsibility are values that everyone in society should have, regardless of faith. They will grow up around our house shrines, be told our stories and will probably hang with Heathen and non-Heathen kids. I will probably have to teach them how to deal with the odd thing that comes a-knocking because if they come out anything like their parents then childhood could be pretty scary without that knowledge. However it will be made clear that should they decide not to follow our path then they have our support no matter what they choose - as long as its not harmful to them.

Heathenry isn't something you do once a month or on a special day. It's a way of life.

Alot of people forget this. I may not be bringing my daughter up as specifically pagan, but I make darned sure she knows what values and morals and ethics are important. I am proud of her!



That's what I say about witchcraft. It is what I do, but it is also what I am.

Abso bloomin lutely !!

But I also agree with Wyrdwoman my witchin' is something I am. Its part of me and I could no more change that than fly to the moon. So my kids were indeed raised as part of that.

My hubby is far more Pagan in blood and bone than I ever was and he didn't keep his opinions to himself either LOL

But as I said its important to give informed opinion and then they have more likelihood of actually thinking about it and not just becoming something because they are looking for spirituality.

I think teens in particular often search for their identity through different religious experiences and if we leave them in ignorance they are very much more likey to be targetted by fanatics.

My lads school had a bunch of fervent christians visit and their policy was to get em while they were in this vulnerable state. But because they were christian the school deemed that acceptable.

Until they met me that is

Exactly and for those whose spirituality is a part of them rather than something they do, this question is just such a non-issue because it's rather like 'doh!'.

I dont actually have kids and wont for a long time but here's my thoughts. I was brought up around lots of different religions. My dad is and atheist, my mum is a pagan but my parents have friends who were druids and cathars(i think thats right, its a kind of old christianity though i dont really no much about it). I grew up learning about all of them but never being told what to believe or pushed into one thing or another and i made my own choices about it.
I think the best way to bring children up is to teach them about as much as you can and to let them come to their beliefs on their own. I have a much younger sister and one day she come home and asked whether what the teachers said about jesus and god was true and mum replied that no one really knows and you just have to see is you believe its true. Apparently my sister had questioned what the teacher had said and they had reprimanded her because of course the bible is law. My mum complained. Religion shouldnt be shoved down childrens throats.

I totally agree, that in a school setting it's wrong to promote any one faith over another. I remember being completely bemused by tales of god and Jesus and thinking that the teacher was out of her mind. When I first started school I remember her asking "Who's going to come back and make everyone's lives full of joy ?" I eagerly put my hand up and answered "Quinn the Eskimo !" because I loved the Dylan song ("When Quinn the Eskimo gets here everybody's gonna jump for joy !")

However, I'm not prepared to modify or hide my faith in my own home for fear of indoctrinating my son. When he's old enough of course he'll have a choice about what faith he takes, but until then he'll be going along with what we do as a family. As an attachment parent I think I'll be giving that autonomy earlier than schools give kids credit for knowing their own minds

Having been raised in a christian family there is no way i would try to force feed my child religion. PK expressed it exactly as i see it, just better:

"Childhood indoctrination is just plain wrong in my opinion irrespective of the religion. A form of abuse I reckon. Kids will believe anything an adult will tell them, which can be abused by overtly religious individuals. Why poison their innocent young minds full of wonder and magick with some of the nonsense bounded around by the organised religions."

I think you should give them a good moral education so they know right and wrong and learn respect and as much as a non-scholastic education can teach them about life. But religion has no part in that. My beliefs, how every strong and important to me form part of my life, not my daughter's.
I think it depends too on your level of naturality in what you do. If it is natural, nothing has to be taught. It's a bit like football mad family i know. If dad is a football nut then it's likely that he'll try to force it on his kids and the kids will often try to please dad out of love rather than conviction. If dad treats football as part of life like anything else the kids can choose for themselves.

Well, when I had my children I was nonreligious. Then because of them I got involved in Steiner education and became a Steiner Christian, which is a particular brand embracing reincarnation, other worlds, spiritual development and a particular path to otherworldly wisdom which means meditating every day at the same time to a specific formula.

I tried to find a time in my day when I could practise this meditation, and there was no one time when I could guarantee to be free of other duties, except early in the morning before the children were up. So I started getting up early to do my meditation, and the little buggers started to wake up early too, and jealously interrupt me. So I gave up.

I also at one point tried to take them to church, but they sensibly resisted, so that was the end of that. I remember my youngest saying very loudly in the middle of the service, 'When is it going to end?' They are so full of common sense, aren't they?

I don't have any spawn yet, but were I to suddenly start budding or putting out runners or whatever happens, I don't think I'd indoctrinate them into anything much deeper than the basic precepts of Jonesism, i.e.:

1. Smoke tobacco, but not cigarettes.

2. Drink plenty of booze, but only if it's brown.

3. Have sex as often- and with as many people- as you can, but wear a condom (crabs and gonorrhea are relatively easy to shift, kids...not so much)

4. Fly a 'plane, even if you only do it once and you barf everywhere.

5. Hard work will gain you nothing but a bad back and an overdraught- the world values talent and bullshit.

6. If you won't eat it, don't kill it.

Most importantly of all:

7. Remember that life is a game where the rules keep changing and everyone cheats. It will scare you, it will hurt you and, one day, it will kill you. However, if, after you are gone, your actions have left the world even a teeny bit better than it was when you came in, then you have won.

Oh, and read. A lot. It makes things so much more interesting.

Apart from that, you're on your own, my son.

I have multiple spawn and would HATE it if they (individually) took up with ANY superstition!!! [Including "Political Correctness".]

I've no children at this point in time, however Mojie and I have discussed the possibility, we are in full agreement in this and would not indoctrinate them in any belief system. Rather we would educate them in the basics of all the major faiths and hopefully equip them to be able to make their own informed choice as to what if any faith they wished to follow when they were old enough to do so.

Storm Raven

The problem as I see it is, if you live a pagan/witch/heathen etc lifestyle and if this is part and parcel of who you are as a human being, how can you not affect your children with these fundamental beliefs?

As I said before I am pagan and its not a belief as such, its who I am as a person, and it cannot be discarded like a dirty shirt as and when its convenient.

So all I could do was allow my kids to develop their own beliefs within that framework and to let them know whatever they chose was ok by me. Which is how I managed to raise three kids all with differing ideas.

Children are individuals and believe me have definite minds of their own. So the worst thing we can do is not allow that to develop. But what people dont realise I think is if we raise them with nothingness, they will either end up in nothingness themselves or be pray for those with different agendas.

Belief is no different from any other subject and communication and open mindedness is always the key.

I would be concerned if my daughter was bullied at school because of my beliefs, mainly because I would want to know how it became common knowledge? You can be pagan without looking or acting weird. I don't wear overt jewellery, or velvet cloaks, when attending my daughter's parent-teacher evenings, and would be surprised if others did.

I know I am extremely lucky in where I live. My daughter's primary school was multi-faith, so having a pagan parent would have made her no more unusual than many of the other kids. Her secondary school is less multi-faith, but much more tolerant, and she has had no problems from the people she has chosen to tell about what I get up to. I think the RE Teacher gave a nervous laugh, but that's about it.

OTOH, if we keep hiding it like we are ashamed, then non-pagans will never get to know what it is really about. All they have as their touchstone is what is written in tabloids, and I would rather that was not the case.

Wyrdwoman, it was actually my lad that bought our beliefs to the attention of the school when they attempted to force him to attend and assembly by a group called the The Bridge Project

They told him he was a disgrace and bought shame on the school because of his actions. He begged them to phone me and they didnt.

So I went to them !

Mod hat on

I think I'm going to split this topic as some of the posts have moved away from the original point but are well worthy of a topic on its own.

So I'll move those posts into a new thread which I'll call, oooh... *thinks for a sec*

"Living a Pagan life"

We should stand up for ourselves. I am not ashamed of what I am.

I can't believe they would treat him that way. My daughter has refused to dissect a frog in her Biology class (she is veggie) and that was acceptable, so why they are supposed to listen to indoctrination is beyond me. Unfortunately RE is now compulsory and of course the majority is about the Book religions, but I told her to consider it an easy grade.

Her school usually sends out notes regarding things like that so you can opt your child out if you so wish. As I said, I am glad her school is a good one.

My mum is a witch and a pagan, and my dad kinda varied between atheist and agnostic - lol. When I was growing up, it was just normal that mum did stuff and we had certain conversations and spirit was just dealt with matter of factly. And mum refused to have us christianed so we would be free to make up our own minds.

With my own children - well, I made the big mistake of marrying a christian (at least thats how he described himself, he never went to church once) and he thought even incense was weird, so what I did was submerged. it didnt stop me doing stuff but it wasnt openly talked about and so the girls didnt have any exposure to paganism until they were about 6 and 8. But I also refused to have them christened as I didnt think it was right to hand a baby over to a god and a religion they had no knowledge about, let alone that I didnt believe in. Much to the disgust of the in-laws

However, my littun came home from school one day, aged 5, with a real grump on and declared that she didnt believe in god because none of the stories made sense!! PMSL.

Blood will tell, as they say ?

After my divorce I breathed a big sigh of spiritual relief and it was on open subject again, and the girls asked questions as they cropped up, I answered them from my point of view, but I have also made sure, as my mum did with me, that they had the opportunity to learn about other beliefs and other religions and only when they have asked have I included them in any 'stuff' - like a small ritual for my dad when he passed. Any 'stuff' that I did, I did after they had gone to bed, when I had time to in between everything else. But my beliefs are so important to me, I did find the time. But I never pushed it on them, I just lived as I wanted to live.

And I have just asked my Littlun (now 17) how she would describe herself and she replied "not applicable" LOL.

My eldest is far more 'into' esoteric things tho as she has a natural 'talent' but probably wouldnt describe herself as pagan.

But, they are possibly more open minded than I am about some things, they are level headed and generally turning out to be very well rounded young adults that I am proud of, and they dont suffer fools gladly, so despite their somewhat hodge podge experiences I cant have done too bad a job