Agreed and you obviously got it right but there is a big diffrence between forcing your views onto your children and allowing you children to know what you do/are.
My father's job was his life and what he was. I know what he did, i even went to his office when i was young, he talked about his job and he lived and breathed it but there it ended as with most dads and mums. Why is religion different? I can still see no reason, even if you do 15 rituals a day, to involve the children until they are at a an age when they can understand what is going on.
I used to hate going to church but did so for a while simply because it pleased my parents. Children do many things to please including telling you that they want to do things they really do not want to do.

P.S.
As this has come up before -being a pagan and living a pagan lifestyle rather than perhaps it being just a part of your life - i would be curious to know how this manifests itself. If you're going round waving leafy branches about all day and rasing arms aloft and bowing to statues etc. then i could understand it (do people do this?? ) but otherwise i can't see how being a pagan would show on a day to day basis.

I suspect some of the things I bring home from my walks around the village could be thought of as, erm, eccentric. Also, active pagans would have a few statues around, and certain days of the week, month or year would be given over to them. Alot of pagans are politically, environmentally, or humanitarianly active, so the children may be used to painting placards and going for long walks. This is slightly different behaviour to Mr & Mrs average, eating their TV dinners in front of the box.

I know plenty of people who walk, bring home strange stuff (skulls for one) and also eat tv dinners and are active politically, environmentally, or humanitarianly yet are not pagans. I know one pagan that does none of the above except eat tv dinners.
Most have statues or other ornaments about the house. I suspect being a pagan is no different outwardly to any other person. It's very difficult these days to be eccentric.

In truth Woozle I dont know how to answer this in a way I think would satisfy, apart from the things Wyrdwoman has said how does one explain why they are a certain way.

I've said before that my kids just knew I wasnt like their friends Mothers and I was classed as a bit of a hippy. I do have things in the house which Jo public wouldnt have, I guess, and my interests may be deemed slightly out of the mainstream.

oh and the "stuff" my kids were very aware I "did" stuff

So my witchiness was there from my beginnings. The way I go about things I suppose so that even cleaning my house is done in such a way as its not JUST hoovering etc.

My acceptance that "imaginery" friends were perhaps more than that and accommodating them. Perhaps its to do with the way I see the world and vocalise that ...... I dunno

Dammit, its soooooooo hard to explain

Yes but its more than that.

When Hubby first saw me back in the eighties, I was done up like a dogs dinner, big hair, high heels and all things dynasty and tasteless ,and yet the first thing he said to his friends was "Theres something of the witch in that woman"

So even without the need for velvet dresses and interesting cloaks I suppose it was evident even then

I see what you mean. BUT what is it that makes a pagan any different to any other person who has particular intrests out of the mainstram football and drinking and TV? I mean outwardly in the things they do. You can be a whirling dervish and still act normally except for the whirling bit on saturday mornings, you don't have to have dervish paintings, statues and blue cloth everywhere and talk dervish from dawn till dusk. I would imagine that most things the hippy types do, say and act are exactly the same as pagan things. what do pagans do that children are going to see that i'm-in-love-with-india hippies don't for example?
I would hate my kid to go through the hell i went through at schoolbecause i was different. If this means giving a good social and moral education and putting a statue or two away or not keep flashing the old pentacle or thorshammer about and telling everyone how pagan and different i am then i will (i'm talking generaly here not about you Comf.).
Other than that i can't think what outwardly sets me apart as a pagan that i could hide.

Woozle I think what I'm trying to say is I was never in your face pagan. I'm still not really.

I didnt nor do now shout it from the rooftops and get in peoples faces like I see some do. But it was always kind of obvious I was just a bit different. Even when I was doing my damnedest to conform to army life I was called the "earth mother" amongst other lot less pleasant things

Two of my kids were bullied at school but not because off me. I KNOW what its like to be humiliated (in a bad way) by a parent.

But I thought we were talking about how our kids perceived us not how the outside world did? So whilst the neighbours may not have been aware of the things I had in my house or my "practises" my kids certainly were

But, surely, if i had a passion for wine tasting (practices) which i indulged in with a certain regularity, the kids would of course know what i did but (i hope) nobody would dream of initiating their kids into the wine tasting circle because it is not something kids do (well apart from in italy). Kids can be aware of a lot of things but it doesn't mean that you can't adapt your life to protect their interests.
I mean would you (imp.) sit your kid down on the sofa and then strip naked and go into trance and speak to the gods? When i do circles they are totally private. No reason to indoctrinate the kids or the wife. This doesn't belittle me or make me any less of a pagan because i don't flaunt it, quite the contrary, i think it shows i have respect for my wife and child.
We have lots of xians in the B&B and none of them, unless they accidentally see the pentacle, know that i am not a xian. They come into my house and talk to me but i have not modified my house to hide it. My witchcraft books are on display but i have books about carpentry but that doesn't make me a carpenter. Nobody has ever said 'i see you have lost of books on the occult, are you a witch?'.
If you go round looking like a witch of talking about thor all the time or wearing a robe to the supermarket then sure you are going to set yourself up as something you might not actually be. Most paedophiles for example lead a totally normal life externally. No need for trimmings for them, they just get on with it. Why can't pagans?

Well I think many do. I certainly do. I would defy you to walk into my living room and think either "pagan" or "witch", there is nothing about my everyday life that marks me as different, except on the very odd occasion the odd piece of jewelery. My living room has a tv in it, dvds, sofas, lots of football stuff and absolutely nothing pagany or witchery appart from my Tarot cards that live in their bag and are always to hand. I do like a certain "style" so I go for black and I go for long skirts, but when I go to work I look just like all the other joes.

With regards to the kids leanring what you are. As far as I can work out, kids are a lot smarter than we give credit for and if there are occasions during the year when you celebrate differently from the other people in the street, then they pick up pretty quick and start the whole.. "why" line of questioning.

Also, you made a comment about "respecting your wife and kids" not wanting to "indoctrinate" them... well fair enough if you look at it that way. But how about wanting to share important times? I mean whats wrong with wanting to celebrate Yule as a family? Whats wrong with saying to your wife and kids, this is a really important day for me and I would like you to be a part of it? I dont think thats indoctrination.

I went to church with my grandmother as a child every sunday for years. Not because I believed, but because I loved her, and this was something we could do together, belief or not and it made her happy. Seeing your mum and dad making offerings to the sun and being involved in those same rituals does not mean that you will believe the same thing as them, it just means you are joining in their celebrations. Its the other side of that "respct" coin you flipped.

Woozle I think those who have to float around looking all important and paganny, or constantly talking about their gods and what have you are either very new, very insecure in their beliefs and so defensive, or they have something to prove and so are almost pushing for a reaction.

Theres a tale of when myself and a small group of pagans went to Avebury which kind of emphasises this point but I've been accused in the past of going off on tangents and telling too many stories so I wont bore you

But no of course I didnt invite my kids into circle (when I can be asked to do one that is) but then my practises are private anyway

Im not a parent, nor do I plan on being one! But I was a child and was raised with fairly obvious out there beliefs!
I was raised christian Spiritualist, this didnt really impact on me until I was old enough to stay up past 8pm, aged about 9 or 10.
My family had lots of statues around the house and a large converted shed which acted as a Chapel in the garden.
I always grew up in places a bit distant from towns, Bodmin Moor for example.
We also never owned a car or telephone. So contact withother kids for me was limited to the few that lived nearby and school.
Once I was old enough to stay up past 8pm, I realised that my parents had a group of about 12 people come to visit them twice a week, they sat around all dressed in white and very silent! It all looked a bit weird to me and obviously the next day I asked about it.
Soon I was Meditating and trying to make contact with the Spirits, etc, aged about 10.
This lasted a while, until I went to secondary school and we moved closer to a town. Then I started to visit new friends at their homes and was struck by how differently everyone else lived!
My new friends also came to visit me and obviously thought my family a bit odd, especially this chapel in the garden!
It got round school and I was quizzed about it and later bullied about it. I was advised to turn the other cheek by my parents, I soon realised this meant I just got hit on both cheeks! So learnt a bully was best dealt with by a smack in the mouth!
This I guess this is when I started to question the Christian upbringing I had, I hated Easter anyway, all night vigals at 10 years old, thinking about how Christ suffered for me wasnt made up for by a few chocalate eggs!
Christmas was all about Prayer, pressies didnt get opened until nearly tea time!
Thankfully, I wasnt ever Christianed, my parents decided I should do that myself, when I was old enough to understand what it meant!
As a Pagan, Im not obviously so, I always wear a Pentacle or something around my neck, this isnt usually seen, my work colleagues know my beliefs, not because I was shouting about it, just because they were all talking about Faiths etc one Lunchtime and they asked me.
My friends all know my beliefs.
So do my family, my parents split up a long time ago and that was a mess on so many levels!
My mum isnt that Religious anymore, but still thinks my beliefs are a bit weird, so Ive given up talking to her about it.

But in short, most people wouldnt know what i believed by looking at me, if they come into my home its obvious, but then its my home!

I think this is the salient point. I don't see how I can avoid exposing my son to our beliefs. We have an altar in the front room with a representation of Yggdrasill and statues of Thor, Odin and Freyr on it. A big part of my faith is the sacredness of the mundane (if that makes sense) so I bless our food, I like to give a good cleansing when I do the cleaning etc etc. I can't separate my spirituality and box it off somewhere my son won't see. I pray/meditate every day. I see the Gods in everything. I don't expect him to follow my faith but I do expect him to behave properly according to family rules and to respect the feelings of others.

As I am Norse tradition and My husband is eclectic there are many different aspects of Paganism represented in our home. Husband has numerous incantations and other bits & pieces on the go all the time. Of course when he's old enough to make his own mind up I shall encourage him along whatever path he chooses (son not hubby ), and if I embarrass him I will discuss ways to compromise to make it better ( I think he's more likely to be embarrassed by my scruffiness, farting, nudity and swearing than by my faith to be honest ). However I think an important lesson for everyone is that it's ok to be yourself and if people don't accept you then it's their loss. I hope that by the time he's a teenager he'll have the self confidence to stand apart if he has to.

My parents had no spiritual life (apart from the worship of money and social status ) and my mum in particular ruined my childhood and teenage years trying to make me "popular" (and failing ). She'd say of my interests "Don't go talking about that at school or people will think you're a wierdo and no one will be your friend ". It took years and years for me to get the confidence back to be true to myself. I think it's far better to be open and honest about who we are and to teach our kids that it's ok to be yourself.

'Its ok to be yourself'
Never a truer word said! That is what this is all about, I guess, at the end of the day!
You NEED to be yourself, but you dont want how you express that to impact negatively on your sons life and his NEED to be himself!
Parenting must be a difficult job, lots of compromise and putting others before yourself!
One of the reasons I have no interest in doing it! Im far to Selfish!
However good luck to all you Pagan Parents!

well put there snippety. if you are accpetant of yourself and your son, he will grow up with the due respect and acceptance. as for the fowl language farting burping and nudity boys love it. farting contests in this house are very frequent we also suffer with a snoring family even my cat snores.
as for my path it is my choice not my kids yes they may be influenced by it, but they are all individuals and when they are old enough or mature enough they will make their own choices and i will respect their wishes. sonething that was never given to me

Yep, above all I don't want to repeat the mistakes my parents made