can any one help i can not unwind at night which makes sleeping bloody hard and when i do get to sleep i have bad dreams about my ex-wife which means i feel down the next day.

i sleep about 4 to 5 hours a night so i am allways feeling rundown and what sleep i do get allways tends to be in parts like i wake up 3 or 4 times a night so it works out about 3 to 4 hours a night.

so as you can see i am still awake it is now 01.45 and i have to be up at 5.00 for work.

and i am in need off a lot of sleep

I guess you have tried all the usual things, warm bath, hot milk, etc? I'm in the same position myself (currently 3.30am and I'm still wide awake)

Lavender oil helps me sometimes, but it does tend to leave me somewhat fuzzy headed the next day. Camomile is worth a go too, either in a tea or using the oil in an oil burner. I prefer the oil myself, as I don't like the taste of the tea!

I'm also having nightmares which is unusual for me - they are waking me up regularly too, but I have put them down to my current depression which hopefully will get better with the medication I'm taking.

A good evening routine can help, I try and start getting ready for bed a couple of hours before I actually need to - I have a long hot bath, get into my PJ's, make myself some herbal tea or horlicks (but not hot chocolate because the sugar just wakes me up again), then read for an hour or so before getting into bed. Sometimes this works, might be worth a shot.

I would be interested in any suggestions too, at the moment I'm resorting to taking antihistamines which will knock me out, but leave me wiped out and lethargic... not too bad while i'm off work, but I can't be like that once I go back in a couple of weeks time.

Listening to music heps me un wind. Amythyst also helps and we have a large peice of Obsidian in our room as this absorbs any negativity that may be around. Obsidian is a stone you can either live and work with or not, you'ed have to have it around a while to decide.

Aslan. Has everything been sorted out and settled with your past wife or are there ongoing issues that need sorting out? This could be part of your bodies way of sorting things out and bringing unfinished issue to your awareness.
Prehapse cutting ties may help here at least on a spiritual leval.

Could you also be working / travleling at night? This can wipe me and my husband out the next day, as you can wake more tired than when you went to bed the night before. You can do this subconsiously so that you are unaware of it until the next morning. If so that is a seperate issue that needs to be addressed.

A good routine before bed as Stormbringer suggests can help alot

Re the nightmares, alot is happening to the planet at the moment, alot is moveing about. this could be part of the cause. We live bettween two lay lines here so tend to notice when there is any change or if alot is going on. But you can use variouse forms of protection up to help with this disterbance.

This has probebly raised you more questions than answers, but sometimes this is the way things need to be to find the solution to the problem.

Hope its' of some help

Siksika

If I really can't sleep in the middle of the night:

Firstly, am I thirsty or dehydrated? Drink a glass or two of water.

Secondly, am I warm enough or cool enough? Adjust windows and bedclothes accordingly.

Thirdly, if my brain is churning, do twenty push-ups - or as many as I can.
It relaxes the knotted shoulder-muscles and gets me out of breath. Then I lie down. By the time my breathing is back to normal, I'm asleep.

I have a lot of trouble getting settled to sleep at night too. During the day if i am tired i can usually fall asleep anywhere but when it comes to night time my body just wont let me rest and my mind goes into overdrive.

Mundane, but have you considered changing the position and orientation of your bed? Getting a decent pillow?

Siksika's mention of travelling/working whilst asleep is also worth considering.

Hope things improve; keep us updated.

Tas

The problem with lack of sleep I have found is that it makes all the senses hyper sensitive, especially to noise.

My personal solution for this is to use white-noise.

By tuning the TV or radio to a none-reception channel the background static is enough to take my attention away from any other distraction that my brain might associate with needing urgent attention, and can be quite soothing if the self suggestion is implanted that what is being heard is the sound of the sea or wind.

(Not recommended for anyone called Carol-Anne )

I would suggest giving up caffeine & fags if you're a user. No food after 6pm - stick to water or hot milk if you like it (I'd rather drink...well anything really ). Before going to bed do some yoga or tai chi or just stretches - nothing too strenuous, perhaps to some soothing music. I too have used obsidian, in a pouch under my pillow, and I have always found Badger sleep balm helpful on the temples. You can buy it here:

Hejhog

When I was losing sleep worrying about work I used to do an exercise where as you lie in bed and thoughts come into your mind you acknowledge them and then see them float away from you like clouds (the original exercise said balloons but they give me the cold sweats so had to change it ). Also to tell yourself as you drift off that the minute you encounter the problem (in this case your ex) it's a signal to wake up before the nightmare develops. It's very difficult I know. The worst thing for me is when I can't sleep because I'm so anxious about the fact that I can't get to sleep. That's a killer

have you tried taking any sleep aids? there are a large number of natural and drug remedies out there lately

i suffer with terrible sleep patterns myself. waking 3 or 4 times a night. i have made a blend of oils from 100 mls of base oil 10 drops of lavender 10 drops of chamomile and 5 drops of valerian oil. it knocks me out nicely when i burn it in the bedroom. be warned though cats love valerian and will be cuddled up purring all over you

try turning your matress and get a new pillow sometimes that helps as well.

i do hope you find some good sleep soon.

opalmoon

I found lavender absolutely brilliant, and also i took to opening the window and letting cold air in, it seemed to work (maybe triggered the" cosy under the covers"!)
I also stopped tea or coffee after 4pm . I don;t really get bad dreams but a friend had night terrors as a kid and now as an adult dreams all the time, nightmares, and she found certain foods (dairy and caffeine) made the dreams worse. Cutting back on them helped.

Thanks to all for all your posts i try them all one by one and mix and match to see which one/s help me.

so a small bit about my ex-wife.

We was with each other for just over 10 years when
she walked out on me to be wife her girlfriend who she was cheatingon me wife
she even once had her round our home when i was at work this was back in october last year.

since then my ex and her girlfriend are now engaged.

my problem is i dont hate her at all and forgive her so have so much hurt i dont know what to do at times.


Shane

May I put in my two-pennorth? How about writing down everything you feel about the breakup of your relationship? Your mind is trying desperately to sort it all out, and maybe you are not giving it that chance. Also, set aside a time to actually grieve for your loss. Grief needs to move out in a physical way such as wailing, and if you can do this, you'll find it feels better than just holding it all in and soldiering on. It's like vomiting, in a way - not something you want to do, but necessary sometimes.

I agree wirh Julai, sometimes writing down things helps you can also get the raghhhhh factor out on the piece of paper.

aw! I really feel for you. My suggestion would be that you do what Julai said first of all, get out under the cover of darkness and state that you wish to rid yourself of the emotions attached to your ex that is preventing you from moving on and relaxing.
Next download some relaxing music from the internet to your Ipod or MP3.
From there on in, have a hot bath but put the oils in the bath rather than burning them afterwards. Use Lavendar, chamomile and another scent that particularly resonates with you. For me it is Bergamot, but that may not be so for you. Go to the Health food shop and have a good sniff. Pick the one you love the most, not the one that the info tells you is right for your problems.
Before you have the bath, drink a cup of chamomile tea then take a large glass of wine up to the bathroom with you. As well as the oils chuck in some lemon and bicarb of soda. Make sure the bathroom is really dark and then light some candles and an incense that fits with the oils you have used.

Play the music you chose. Run the hot water into the bath until it is to a temperature that is very hot. relax until you have to get out because it is too warm. Wrap a warm towel around you and take music into bedroom. Lie down and drift off.

ALWAYS WORKS FOR ME!

Aronwy x

Oh dear - it's hardly sirprising you are having sleep problems.

Julai's suggestions are spot on. Please try and follow her advice.

And know too that this place, despite the occasional glitches and spats, is chock full of some fantastically warm and genuinely caring people who will do their utmost to help you through the dark times.

And sometimes writing a blog helps too - a way of rationalising and offloading.

Lots and lots of these --->

Aslan, if you want to send me a detailed description of your bad dreams i can read them for you and help you. Youv'e proberly tryed meditation to cure this, but honestly if you stick with it it does work. Also maybe going to a channeler (spiritual healer) that could also help you. Feel free to pm me your dreams and ill try and help.

I've also got some good reiki music that does wonders to your self esteem and confiedence. Its really relaxing, if you go on my website (link in my signature) go on the email page and email me.. Ill send you some of the tracks, legally ofc its uncopyrighted material.

cant help you on this one stormbringer, i too find it hard to sleep at night. 5hrs tops but thats never unbroken wake 3 or 4 times at least. perhaps thats how its supposed to be.
catch up with you later, adios mi amigo.