Dating non-pagans
(I took the word 'cowan' from the linked blog. I actually hate the word almost as much as 'muggle')
As I am single, I may not be the most qualified person to discuss this, but I have had pagan partners in the past. Neither relationship was successful, for reasons connected to their paganism but not wholly to do with it. My most 'successful' relationship was with a Buddhist.
So how about the rest of you? Do those of you with pagan partners understand where the above blogger is coming from? Or do non-pagan partners have redeeming features that make the fact they think we are all mad forgiveable.
I am not sure the blogger phrased her post well. I do think that a successful relationship will have differences that should be worked out. But it seems that the ones she and her ex experienced were too hard to surmount.
Full Version: Dating A Cowan Is Hard!
It's hard to say really, my first thought was that it's all aspects of a person rather than just their beliefs that makes your relationship with them, therefore saying you can't successfully date a non-pagan is ridiculous. If two people are respectful of each other's beliefs and have plenty of common ground in other areas (please gods don't lets say being Pagan is all we are!) then things should go well. However, with a non-pagan ex-husband and a pagan current husband I can kind of see where she's coming from, if I use my ex as a meter for all non-pagans and my current one as a meter for all pagans then yes, living with someone who has a similar approach to life and it's obstacles which stems from paganism is definitely easier. However, I don't think I could have such a successful relationship with any old pagan who happened by, and I'm not sure that our marriage would be scuppered if T wasn't pagan as it's not just his paganism I love about him. I accept that it would have been much harder to meet him in the first place though!
pb's fiance here.
I am not pagan whereas PB is. We have a successful relationship both from my perspective and his, despite these religious differences. I am an atheist and as such believe in very few things that he believes in. From the beginnning of our relationship I made my beliefs concerning my own views and views about his beliefs clear and so did he. Despite the fact that I have a very different religious view, I support him in his religion, such as help him prepare items for his rituals.
The problem does not stem from people being of different religions or life views (as I can assure you we are different in a lot of ways), it is about supporting your partner, accepting what they believe and loving them for the fact they are different to you. In truth how many of us would want to date someone exactly like ourselves.
as they say variety is the spice of life
I am not pagan whereas PB is. We have a successful relationship both from my perspective and his, despite these religious differences. I am an atheist and as such believe in very few things that he believes in. From the beginnning of our relationship I made my beliefs concerning my own views and views about his beliefs clear and so did he. Despite the fact that I have a very different religious view, I support him in his religion, such as help him prepare items for his rituals.
The problem does not stem from people being of different religions or life views (as I can assure you we are different in a lot of ways), it is about supporting your partner, accepting what they believe and loving them for the fact they are different to you. In truth how many of us would want to date someone exactly like ourselves.
as they say variety is the spice of life
QUOTE(Paganboy28 @ Aug 16 2008, 06:41 PM)
pb's fiance here.
it is about supporting your partner, accepting what they believe and loving them for the fact they are different to you.
it is about supporting your partner, accepting what they believe and loving them for the fact they are different to you.
See, this is what I think, and why I am uncomfortable with the blog post I linked to. Does being pagan give us some insight that non-pagan don't have? I doubt it. I think there were bigger problems there, and she picked on a small one to cover up the large one. It wasn't even a long relationship. I would have said give it at least a year or 2 before blaming the guy being non-pagan for their relationship woes.
Well, I think Vert's "Living with a Witch" and his post on my interview thread, give a fairly accurate view of his thoughts!
For myself, Vert's of pagan outlook rather than practising pagan. Which does mean that fortunately he's very supportive and chilled out. I get to be "me" without fear of ridicule, disapproval or fear.
Very different to how it was with my ex-husband who regarded my beliefs with distrust, fear and eventually loathing.
It makes a difference, it really does, knowing that you can be you.
For myself, Vert's of pagan outlook rather than practising pagan. Which does mean that fortunately he's very supportive and chilled out. I get to be "me" without fear of ridicule, disapproval or fear.
Very different to how it was with my ex-husband who regarded my beliefs with distrust, fear and eventually loathing.
It makes a difference, it really does, knowing that you can be you.
Having done both - married a 'christian' (and then divorced him) and dated / lived with Pagans, from my own point of view it is much easier to have a relationship with a pagan. but then again, differing viewpoints can still be a problem.
But there is no way I would want to go back to not being able to be myself, no matter what the other person's beliefs are, and I think that is the crux of the issue - for me, anyway.
But there is no way I would want to go back to not being able to be myself, no matter what the other person's beliefs are, and I think that is the crux of the issue - for me, anyway.
The blogger says her family are 'Hispanic Roman Catholics and that's close enough' (i.e. close enough to being pagan). This is a rather astonishing thing to say. Does it imply that Hispanic Roman Catholics are less rigid about their beliefs than, say, Italian or English ones? Or that they take a pagan approach to their religion? Or what?
I think relationship problems come, not so much from religion or lifestyle differences, but from how unable to be tolerant the people are. They are more likely to be tolerant if they have some understanding of the other point of view.
But two Christians can have differences over how their beliefs should affect their lifestyle, and so can two pagans.
My current hubby is deeply attached to his RC faith (not Hispanic, just English), but he actively encourages me in any ritual behaviour I choose to exhibit. In fact he takes part with eagerness and aplomb. He'll play the Green Man just as enthusiastically as he'll go to church. I would say it's because of his character. He has a passion for people.
On the other hand, I can 't seem to strike a chord of friendship with most of the local pagans. Being pagan is not enough of a common ground - it's the personality that matters.
I think relationship problems come, not so much from religion or lifestyle differences, but from how unable to be tolerant the people are. They are more likely to be tolerant if they have some understanding of the other point of view.
But two Christians can have differences over how their beliefs should affect their lifestyle, and so can two pagans.
My current hubby is deeply attached to his RC faith (not Hispanic, just English), but he actively encourages me in any ritual behaviour I choose to exhibit. In fact he takes part with eagerness and aplomb. He'll play the Green Man just as enthusiastically as he'll go to church. I would say it's because of his character. He has a passion for people.
On the other hand, I can 't seem to strike a chord of friendship with most of the local pagans. Being pagan is not enough of a common ground - it's the personality that matters.
QUOTE(Julai @ Aug 16 2008, 11:53 PM)
The blogger says her family are 'Hispanic Roman Catholics and that's close enough' (i.e. close enough to being pagan). This is a rather astonishing thing to say. Does it imply that Hispanic Roman Catholics are less rigid about their beliefs than, say, Italian or English ones? Or that they take a pagan approach to their religion? Or what?
I think relationship problems come, not so much from religion or lifestyle differences, but from how unable to be tolerant the people are. They are more likely to be tolerant if they have some understanding of the other point of view.
But two Christians can have differences over how their beliefs should affect their lifestyle, and so can two pagans.
My current hubby is deeply attached to his RC faith (not Hispanic, just English), but he actively encourages me in any ritual behaviour I choose to exhibit. In fact he takes part with eagerness and aplomb. He'll play the Green Man just as enthusiastically as he'll go to church. I would say it's because of his character. He has a passion for people.
On the other hand, I can 't seem to strike a chord of friendship with most of the local pagans. Being pagan is not enough of a common ground - it's the personality that matters.
I think relationship problems come, not so much from religion or lifestyle differences, but from how unable to be tolerant the people are. They are more likely to be tolerant if they have some understanding of the other point of view.
But two Christians can have differences over how their beliefs should affect their lifestyle, and so can two pagans.
My current hubby is deeply attached to his RC faith (not Hispanic, just English), but he actively encourages me in any ritual behaviour I choose to exhibit. In fact he takes part with eagerness and aplomb. He'll play the Green Man just as enthusiastically as he'll go to church. I would say it's because of his character. He has a passion for people.
On the other hand, I can 't seem to strike a chord of friendship with most of the local pagans. Being pagan is not enough of a common ground - it's the personality that matters.
The Catholic thing goes a long way back. Remember ( well, you wouldn't actually remember unless you've passed your 100th birthday
) that a common remark on Catholics was they were 'Pagan'. Also, there are definite orthopraxic differences. In some places in Southern Italy, for example, the Catholicism is almost 'cultish' and has some extraordinary pageants, beliefs and practices. The 'divide' between 'northern' Catholicism and 'southern' Catholicism has been around for a long time. The 'northern' kind is often seen as more austere then the southern kind. A better example is to be found in Mexico. Many pagans I know celebrate Dia De Los
Muertos which is a highly regarded Catholic ritual, but also has many cross over aspects with Halloween.
But in general, I think the shared 'bells and smells' idea appears to indicate a cross-over. Incense, candles, propers of the season, colours for certain days, altars, chalices etc., etc. . There is a surface similarity that one wouldn't find in say, a Presbyterian church. Mr. Knox did not approve of such things
. But I agree one's personal beliefs are secondary to shared commonalities and character traits unless someone allows or wants their 'beliefs' to be the centre piece and directing force in all facets of their life. But that would be true of anyone who allowed or wanted just one facet of their being to dominate everything else, IMO.
Marto
QUOTE(Julai @ Aug 16 2008, 10:53 PM)
The blogger says her family are 'Hispanic Roman Catholics and that's close enough' (i.e. close enough to being pagan). This is a rather astonishing thing to say. Does it imply that Hispanic Roman Catholics are less rigid about their beliefs than, say, Italian or English ones? Or that they take a pagan approach to their religion? Or what?
Stregheria is Italian Catholic Witchcraft, so I can sort of see where she is coming from there. However, I am sure they would be pretty shocked to be 'close enough' to paganism.
QUOTE(Wyrdwoman @ Aug 17 2008, 12:53 AM)
QUOTE(Julai @ Aug 16 2008, 10:53 PM)
The blogger says her family are 'Hispanic Roman Catholics and that's close enough' (i.e. close enough to being pagan). This is a rather astonishing thing to say. Does it imply that Hispanic Roman Catholics are less rigid about their beliefs than, say, Italian or English ones? Or that they take a pagan approach to their religion? Or what?
Stregheria is Italian Catholic Witchcraft, so I can sort of see where she is coming from there. However, I am sure they would be pretty shocked to be 'close enough' to paganism.
Well, I invite you to experience the Hispanic Dia De Los Muertos. I'm sure you'd fit right in ( that sounded bad but you know what I'm saying).
So I kind of understand.
Marto
QUOTE(Marto @ Aug 16 2008, 11:58 PM)
[Well, I invite you to experience the Hispanic Dia De Los Muertos. I'm sure you'd fit right in ( that sounded bad but you know what I'm saying).
Eeep!
My OH is definately not pagan.
I have in fairness never dated a pagan, but then I dont really think that it comes into things for me. I couldnt be with someone who was a strict anything. Pagan, Christain, Catholic, Heathen.. wouldnt matter. Im not interested in structure of any form and my OH is agnostic and that suits me fine! As for how my practices affect him, much like Vert, my OH is one of those people who think there might be somehing somewhere, is skeptical but open minded and my faith and my beliefs dont come into it.
I also dont think that they ever should.
I have in fairness never dated a pagan, but then I dont really think that it comes into things for me. I couldnt be with someone who was a strict anything. Pagan, Christain, Catholic, Heathen.. wouldnt matter. Im not interested in structure of any form and my OH is agnostic and that suits me fine! As for how my practices affect him, much like Vert, my OH is one of those people who think there might be somehing somewhere, is skeptical but open minded and my faith and my beliefs dont come into it.
I also dont think that they ever should.
Oh, I don't know. I've dated a few Pagans who were dysfunctional dim-wits. Perhaps it's the sex rather than the religion you need to change? 
But yes, it can add an extra dimension. My current beau has a picture of (white) Jesus on his phone and on our first night together got out of bed with the apology 'I'm so sorry, I have to get to church by six in the morning'.
Uh-huh.
I think you can talk about and discuss anything if you have genuine respect and interest in each other. It can work, it can even be interesting. In as much as you may be thinking 'my, what a cowan', they might be thinking 'who is this freaky heretic' - but sometimes, freaky can be good. Score-one that you got them into bed in the first place
I wouldn't sweat it. If you like someone you like them. A friend gave the best piece of advice I've heard in a long time the other night:
"If you like a guy, you have to like through the entire stretch of your menstrual cycle."
If you can do that, you're on to a winner.
But yes, it can add an extra dimension. My current beau has a picture of (white) Jesus on his phone and on our first night together got out of bed with the apology 'I'm so sorry, I have to get to church by six in the morning'.
Uh-huh.
I think you can talk about and discuss anything if you have genuine respect and interest in each other. It can work, it can even be interesting. In as much as you may be thinking 'my, what a cowan', they might be thinking 'who is this freaky heretic' - but sometimes, freaky can be good. Score-one that you got them into bed in the first place
I wouldn't sweat it. If you like someone you like them. A friend gave the best piece of advice I've heard in a long time the other night:
"If you like a guy, you have to like through the entire stretch of your menstrual cycle."
If you can do that, you're on to a winner.
I can't see that it really matters, as long as both people involved respect the others opinions and are willing to accept that they have different views - much as others have said on here really.
My last fella wasn't pagan, and didn't have the slightest interest in pagan stuff, other than to ask if I had a nice time when I'd been out for coven nights. It was never a problem for either of us, and it certainly never bothered me that he wasn't pagan.
I do sometimes think it would be nice to have a pagan partner, but I can't see it being that much different really... if you like someone, then you like them whatever path they follow, and if you are both interested enough to start a relationship then you just work around it.
My last fella wasn't pagan, and didn't have the slightest interest in pagan stuff, other than to ask if I had a nice time when I'd been out for coven nights. It was never a problem for either of us, and it certainly never bothered me that he wasn't pagan.
I do sometimes think it would be nice to have a pagan partner, but I can't see it being that much different really... if you like someone, then you like them whatever path they follow, and if you are both interested enough to start a relationship then you just work around it.
QUOTE(Wyrdwoman @ Aug 16 2008, 06:51 PM)
See, this is what I think, and why I am uncomfortable with the blog post I linked to. Does being pagan give us some insight that non-pagan don't have? I doubt it. I think there were bigger problems there, and she picked on a small one to cover up the large one. It wasn't even a long relationship. I would have said give it at least a year or 2 before blaming the guy being non-pagan for their relationship woes.
Yes, I don't think what the blog talks about is necessarily anything to do with pagan/ not pagan. So she is self-aware and works on herself and he isn't... that could hapen between any two people.
Having said that, after many years of self-awareness and working hard to grow and deal with my own issues, it does frustrate me that my husband (who is a Christian) doesn't seem to ever even look at himself let alone do any work, and if questioned has been known to say that only God can change us (whe he's not saying "that's just the way I am so deal with it")... um what??! So let's just sit there and wait for 20 years then, why should we bother to make an effort to listen better or not jump to negative conclusions about what someone is saying or get all agressive any time someone disagrees with us etc when we can get God to do it all for us. I don't even understand that view since he's supposed to believe he's set free from sin and able to make good choices all the time if he chooses to.
But although in his case, his stance relates to his religious beliefs, I'm sure there are plenty of other people who are the same way because that's just the way they are. I've always naturally wanted to work on myself, even when I was a Christian (although that did involve a lot of praying for God to change me and feeling miserable, before I finally realised I didn't need to wait for God and could do it myself).
I try to be accepting of his different way of handling things, but it is feeling very frustrating at the moment, as I have made such leaps forward in the last couple of years, and now I feel like he is dragging us down. I want us to grow and mature together.
I have to say I love having a Pagan for a husband and it has made a lot of difference to me spiritually in that I feel able to express myself. It's so much nicer having someone who'll say for example "I know a protection ritual we can do" instead of looking at me like I'm crazy.
I love having a Pagan home together and celebrating the festivals as a family. I love that we share knowledge and discoveries and have interesting discussions. I love that we have all are artefacts about in our house and that he understands my spiritual crises and triumphs and is happy to declare our faith on official forms and such. It's also good that we agree on how to bring up our son. I must admit I can't imagine being with a non Pagan now.
I love having a Pagan home together and celebrating the festivals as a family. I love that we share knowledge and discoveries and have interesting discussions. I love that we have all are artefacts about in our house and that he understands my spiritual crises and triumphs and is happy to declare our faith on official forms and such. It's also good that we agree on how to bring up our son. I must admit I can't imagine being with a non Pagan now.
My better half is not pagan and to be quite frank I have had far worse relationships with women who have been pagan. I don't have a lot of time for the mysterious and mystic, spell for this, spell for that, navigation by tarot card types, I'm more of a gardening, DIY, self-sufficiency and checking out prehistoric sites type person. I prefer practicality to "sensitivity" anyday, it doesn't mean a thing to me if someone can read my aura if they can't kill a chicken or grow a tomato.
maybe I'm just funny like that...
maybe I'm just funny like that...
If any blokes fancy trying out a nearly forty, frayed around the ages dodgy auld goth type Pagan..... I'm freeeeeeee! 
I'm lucky enough to have married someone who respects who and what I am, and have become. Although he is not pagan, we are usually on the same lines .
QUOTE(Vix @ Aug 18 2008, 07:43 PM)
If any blokes fancy trying out a nearly forty, frayed around the ages dodgy auld goth type Pagan..... I'm freeeeeeee!
No you're not... I'm Free!
Ok, you can be free - I'll just be cheap...
my OH is totally dis-interested in all forms of spirituality/religion etc and has now learnt not to ask me what i'm doing as I tell him in detail, but apart from boring the pants off him ( or confusing him ) its never caused any problems
my ex was a fellow pagan - the only issues we had then was that he followed shamanic path (native american based iirc) and I followed a wiccan one.
To me it doesn't really matter as long as you can respect the other persons right to believe what they want
my ex was a fellow pagan - the only issues we had then was that he followed shamanic path (native american based iirc) and I followed a wiccan one.
To me it doesn't really matter as long as you can respect the other persons right to believe what they want
QUOTE(Nicci @ Aug 18 2008, 08:47 PM)
To me it doesn't really matter as long as you can respect the other persons right to believe what they want
Quite.
Having thought about this, I've actually changed my mind ( hey! It can happen! ). As much as I might share many sensibilities or characteristics with someone, I couldn't live with someone who adhered to a faith which has 'core' principles I find abhorrent. As an example, I couldn't live with a Catholic due to their stand on women, gay people and various 'others' ( hewers of wood and drawers of water, anyone?). And if someone said " I'm not THAT kind of Christian" or " The 'God' *I* honour is a not as he is portrayed in the bible, then what 'God' are they speaking of? To disown the bible is to disown that god to my way of thinking.
The same pertains with Judaic and Islamic attitudes.
I just can't see a way around it, I'm afraid. One can still meet such attitudes in some pagan practices and the same objections would hold for me. And yes, one can meet many pagans who also think they are 'above' the ordinary considerations of the Body Politic. Whether someone gets their toxic attitudes off of the Telly or out of a book makes no difference.
However, if that 'book' happens to be the owners manual of their religious being, that has the power of imbuing a lot of their thinking processes and unlike non-religious attitudes , they are not open to debate.
I could not give over my love and trust to someone to whom I, my friends or those things which I hold as ideals will always be held to be by definition - 'inferior' - when push comes to shove. And in life, that is going to happen.
Marto
). As much as I might share many sensibilities or characteristics with someone, I couldn't live with someone who adhered to a faith which has 'core' principles I find abhorrent. As an example, I couldn't live with a Catholic due to their stand on women, gay people and various 'others' ( hewers of wood and drawers of water, anyone?). And if someone said " I'm not THAT kind of Christian" or " The 'God' *I* honour is a not as he is portrayed in the bible, then what 'God' are they speaking of? To disown the bible is to disown that god to my way of thinking.The same pertains with Judaic and Islamic attitudes.
I just can't see a way around it, I'm afraid. One can still meet such attitudes in some pagan practices and the same objections would hold for me. And yes, one can meet many pagans who also think they are 'above' the ordinary considerations of the Body Politic. Whether someone gets their toxic attitudes off of the Telly or out of a book makes no difference.
However, if that 'book' happens to be the owners manual of their religious being, that has the power of imbuing a lot of their thinking processes and unlike non-religious attitudes , they are not open to debate.
I could not give over my love and trust to someone to whom I, my friends or those things which I hold as ideals will always be held to be by definition - 'inferior' - when push comes to shove. And in life, that is going to happen.
Marto
Marto, are you talking about taking a political stand against all Roman Catholics because of what the hierarchy says? I would like to point out that a lot of Catholics are ordinary people who don't take the Pope's edicts and ram them down other people's throats. As far as I can see, they are no more anti women than non-Catholics, and a lot of them are actually women and/or gay. The one I'm married to doesn't make an issue out of his religion.
You may not mean it that way, but you appear to be telling Catholics what they ought to believe. Can you nitpick over a person's relationship with their god, just because they attend an RC church? If they didn't try to push their religion onto you, couldn't you just cohabit in peace with them?
You may not mean it that way, but you appear to be telling Catholics what they ought to believe. Can you nitpick over a person's relationship with their god, just because they attend an RC church? If they didn't try to push their religion onto you, couldn't you just cohabit in peace with them?
QUOTE(Julai @ Aug 19 2008, 04:36 AM)
Marto, are you talking about taking a political stand against all Roman Catholics because of what the hierarchy says? I would like to point out that a lot of Catholics are ordinary people who don't take the Pope's edicts and ram them down other people's throats. As far as I can see, they are no more anti women than non-Catholics, and a lot of them are actually women and/or gay. The one I'm married to doesn't make an issue out of his religion.
You may not mean it that way, but you appear to be telling Catholics what they ought to believe. Can you nitpick over a person's relationship with their god, just because they attend an RC church? If they didn't try to push their religion onto you, couldn't you just cohabit in peace with them?
You may not mean it that way, but you appear to be telling Catholics what they ought to believe. Can you nitpick over a person's relationship with their god, just because they attend an RC church? If they didn't try to push their religion onto you, couldn't you just cohabit in peace with them?
A political statement? No. A personal one. I also know Catholics who use birth control and Muslims who drink alcohol.
I guess what I'm saying is it cuts both ways and as much as I would not like to be held to someone else's religious beliefs, I also don't think I should try and impose my beliefs on them.
Perhaps an example would be better. Say a non-Catholic is married to a Catholic. Here are some things the non-Catholic thinks they should be able to expect:
1) Use birth control
2) Have an abortion
3) Allow women or Gays to be an equal member and sharer in the Communion.
4) Agitate so that women and gays can be priests. ( if they are not anti-gay and hold women to be equal yet deny women and gays the right to be priests, what does that mean?)
5) Ask for and get a legal divorce ( in ANY country).
5) Ask someone to kick the plug if they have a terminal illness and are in a lot of pain.
O.K.. Every time a Catholic ( or really, a member of many of the 'Bigs' in religion) partner says : no or I don't think it's right - they are imposing their beliefs on their partner.
Every time they say 'Yes', they are going against the stated doctrines of their faith.
I would not put myself in the position of either being denied my beliefs, or asking someone I love to deny theirs.
Simple. And just my personal feelings about it. How other people feel is up to them.
Marto
QUOTE(Paganboy28 @ Aug 16 2008, 06:41 PM)
pb's fiance here.
I am not pagan whereas PB is. We have a successful relationship both from my perspective and his, despite these religious differences. I am an atheist and as such believe in very few things that he believes in. From the beginnning of our relationship I made my beliefs concerning my own views and views about his beliefs clear and so did he. Despite the fact that I have a very different religious view, I support him in his religion, such as help him prepare items for his rituals.
The problem does not stem from people being of different religions or life views (as I can assure you we are different in a lot of ways), it is about supporting your partner, accepting what they believe and loving them for the fact they are different to you. In truth how many of us would want to date someone exactly like ourselves.
as they say variety is the spice of life
I am not pagan whereas PB is. We have a successful relationship both from my perspective and his, despite these religious differences. I am an atheist and as such believe in very few things that he believes in. From the beginnning of our relationship I made my beliefs concerning my own views and views about his beliefs clear and so did he. Despite the fact that I have a very different religious view, I support him in his religion, such as help him prepare items for his rituals.
The problem does not stem from people being of different religions or life views (as I can assure you we are different in a lot of ways), it is about supporting your partner, accepting what they believe and loving them for the fact they are different to you. In truth how many of us would want to date someone exactly like ourselves.
as they say variety is the spice of life
I'm Pagan and my hubby doesn't believe in anything at all!! Mainly because he'd has so much Sh*****t in his life when he was young, he says "if there were any gods kicking about, then they've not done me any favours". (Mainly his mum died slowly and painfully from Cancer when he was a teenager).
Anyway, I digress.....
We get on like a house on fire together and he totally respects my ways (I've not long come out of the broom cupboard I have to say). He supports me and when I surf ebay for bits and pieces I need, he quite happily will help me find what I'm looking for.
Sometimes when we are in Germany on holiday and the weather is poo, he'll tongue in cheek say to me "can't your lot sort this out"
It works for us. I find that sometimes if you make a big deal out of it, it can make the other person warey and misunderstand us. So be natural and straight with your partner - I totally agree.
Witchwood
i'm pagan but my partner isn't, and religion/spirituality doesn;t have any impact on our relationship apart from deciding we respect each other's pov. I never understand why people allow these things to become so overshadowing in a relationship. there are worse things people can do to each other than hold a different religious belief. If we have kids, we have agreed we'll raise them to think for themselves and allow them to choose, whatever religion they want, including xtianity. We are really happy together and that is what counts, we have so much in common including our take on right and wrong that outweighs any need to agree on the details of religion. I know people of the same religion who disagree fundementally on what is right or wrong.
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