For the passed couple of years now i have developed this horrible aggressiveness towards the general public. I hate and despise people that cant empathise i have become rude and very bitter towards random stringers i really will never see again and yet they agrivate me so much i find my self wishing them ill and pain to the point that end up getting alot of some very painful headaches.

I really want this to end how can i shut off other peoples bitter attitudes from me so that they dont affect me like this?

It has gotten so bad that i find i cant relax and center myself any more i cant focus on meditation or rase energy the way i used to. I make silly mistakes and any rituals and spells i atempt get me more frustrated and i end up stoping halfway through. Im finding alot harder i gues because i practice on my own and im feeling a bit lost and lonly. IS there any thing i could try to calm me down because im worried im becoming dangerous.

any advice is welcome.

Have you considered counselling?

That's not flippant. First resort to the mundane, especially if the problem lies inside yourself. The last thing you should do is practise any form of magic if you're feeling like this.

i have been thinking about it but money is a bit of an issue at the mo. i guess it would be a good start really i will look into it. sorry if i sound like a psycho im really not. im normaly really caring and full of life its just there is a bit of a shadow im wrestling with.

you don't sound like a psycho at all, sweetheart. At some point in our lives most of us have to try to sort out issues that may be leftover from earlier years. If you've recognised it this early in your life, that is excellent - I soldiered on until I was in my late thirties. A lot of people never recognise it at all.

Good luck to you - it's a journey well worth making, though it's always hard work.

I wouldn't worry too much about the money aspect, your GP should refer you to Community Mental Health for an assessment. It certainly doesn't mean you've lost it, but it sounds like CBT - Cognitive behavioural therapy - could help. BTW............been there, done that.

Please visit your G.P. first. There are many disorders which include what you have described as 'first symptoms'. It may be you need counseling, but it may also be something quite simple that a good check-up will find.

Marto

You sound so scared, I do understand this. I too have visited that place of confusion and out of control emotions. There is always help and you have taken the first step in your recovery by asking for help. Now take the second and biggest step and make that appointment to see your GP. You will get better, be patient with yourself, be kind to yourself, do something nice for yourself every day. I will be thinking of you and asking for strength and healing in your life.

Only decent people actually worry about this so you are in fact not so lost. Think about that, something in you is very hurt but something else in you is strong enough to stand forth when so many others give in to the anger. You show bravery and honesty still - please allow yourself to see that!

It is a truly awful world, recognise that from the beginning. And then, although it is difficult, recognise the beauty and health that still strives in all sorts of dark corners. including in some dark corner of you! That is not an unthinking comment, the world is dark indeed. but it is also truly wonderful and you are part of that bright side as well as your very offering of this post shows us all.

To me it sounds like the beginnings of sever depression breaking out so you must get the mundane help others suggest in case there may be a hormonal or similar imbalance that may be addressed to help in this.

I am at present working with a good soul who is a drug addict, and she suffers immense anger alongside of the other terrible symptoms. Still, she looks and hopes for goodness in herself and in others. I am not going to be so flip as to suggest that it will be easy to resolve for you, with a simple magick trick, but I would like you to consider a couple of things. Maybe, instead of addressing the anger directly you could look at the balancing attributes? There is no single formula for being 'nice' or 'good' but some traits do help. Look at patience, humour and love.

Keep trying to be patient, with yourself as much as others. Get some Monty Python or Steptoe and Son or other DVDs and watch them. If I am anything to go by, you will be impatient as you watch them, unable to relax and see the fun, but persevere, you will catch yourself off guard at some point and laugh. And that is SUCH a big help. laughing at the despair and wickedness is a real start, not an answer but an empowerment. I now cry at sad movies, smile at romantic movies (all secretly of course). I found that one trick was to slow down time, not easy but finally I saw that grief, tears and heart energy were powerful in me and actually rose up before anger that i had thought was out of control to the point of considering killing myself to save the world, lol.

And why not try some love? if you allow yourself a small treat from your limited budget, maybe a new pendant or a book, something selfish, then start on a hobby you always wanted to do, it is worldly love but again, a real and valid start. I used archery, didn't cost a lot, and then moved onto getting a sword, totally useless but now a major part of my life in many areas. And big bad bastard that I am, it is a comfort at times having it in my home! The little boy in me decided to be scared after four decades of growing into a nasty, hard bastard that could survive in the criminal world and other milieu, so I taught him sword fighting and now he trusts me again.

New things always help as the behaviour is not pre-conditioned toward anger, so if you use commonsense and take up something with a tiny bit of self-discipline, maybe something that does not involve others at first, you will be offering yourself a new area to grow into and explore wherein you have a kind of private bubble you can find some positive rewards.

I don't know how many friends you do or don't have but there is usually at least one around the place that is strong and will listen and help. if not, PM me, i am on the other side of the planet but have dealt with anger and depression in my own life quite successfully. And anyone who disagrees with that will get a good kicking before I go off and cry!

excellent post Jape.
Warlok, I can't add anything to that but love yourself first and the rest will follow. Find time for yourself!

By all means, love away. However, I still think it best to ere on the side of safety and get a check up rather than just try and cope alone with only other people's bromides . Indeed, that can make it worse because if things don't clear up ( and they might not if there is an underlying reason you can't know about), it can add to feelings of 'failure' which will only compound the matter. NOBODY can diagnose or 'treat' on-line: indeed, it is both unethical and most unwise. Please seek help and let us know how you are doing!

Take care,

Marto

Jape that is one of the best posts I have seen for a while. Spoken (written) straight from the heart and from someone who has quite obviously been there.

Thanks for sharing it with us.

I too have similar problems at the moment, though my anger and aggression is turned inwards not outwards... In part for me it's triggered by paranoia (though that paranoia is only surrounding certain issues) I am slowly trying to work through it in similar ways Jape has described. I treated myself to a lot of baking utensils since I have always loved baking and cooking ever since I was a child, but have done none for probably 15 years. I'm using it as a hobby to keep me occupied and to show myself some achievements in my life, something tangible I have accomplished. It is something I CAN Control. on the plus side it means the few friends I have will get a gift of cakes or such since if i ate all I make myself I would be twice the size I am and I'm already substantial.

I have found when my aggression rears it's head I take myself into a woods and allow the energy to calm me, sometimes it helps other times it doesn't. it's not always easy. I think this may be good for you to do as it takes you away from the people who you are loosing patience with, it's just you and the trees most of the time (with the occasional dog walker)

As others have said though don't forget to go for the mundane help of your GP first.

Marto, I am not paranoid but it looks suspiciously to me that you are making a number of negative comments around me and my posts in threads recently. I have PM'd you with a suggestion, take it up mate and let some of us who care for more than just our egos do our thing. Warlok, no 'bromides' or 'online treatment' from me, just sincere well wishes.
HOK, well done! Cooking is a good one, and the simple old fashioned remedy of time out in nature is just so soothing. I often go and just lie down and shut my eyes in a patch of sun, even on a cold day. The sun works wonders for me.

Lots of words, some wise some not but all given to help. You now need to give yourself a mental hug and breath! In the end, no matter what you will do it your way, and of course that will be the right way. All good wishes for the days ahead, again thoughts of strength and healing to you.

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warlock i agree with Jape alot of wise words there.

i have in the past dealt with severe anger and agressiveness which led to frustration and depression. in my case is was mainly hormonal and in the end i got it under control, with help from my friends the GP and lots of trips to chillout on the beach.

all those that suffer do it differently. but it is nice to to talk to those who have similar experiences. as Jape said if you need a friendly ear just drop me a PM. the more we talk together the better we can beat these feelings.

opalmoon

Heh. So, here's your message ( oh, I don't cry to teacher and I also believe in 'transparency")

Herneoakshield Edited out PM information due to breach of Forum Rules

That was your 'suggestion' that would allow the O.P. to get the help they need?

Very helpful and informative, I'm sure

Now I'll mention something that I think a lot of people forget. Sometimes 'caring' means taking the hard road. One has to be able to set aside their own subjective feelings and tell people what they should hear, not just tell them what makes YOU ( the impersonal you) feel good to tell them.

If you were in my profession(s) and had my experience and knowledge, you would know that: Caring is HARD.

Suggesting someone see their G.P. and that they cover all the 'mundane' bases is a lot better than telling someone who may have a disorder which can be fixed easily to just rent a video and buy a trinket and they'll feel better. Sure, they'll feel better. Now. Too bad six months from now what WAS a simple issue that should have been treated or had treatment started is now a full blown horror-show.

I've spent too much of my profession cleaning up after well-meaning but ego-centric people who dispense simple 'feel good' advice about something they know dick-all about .

That is why I always try to encourage people to be pro-active in making sure there isn't a larger issue rather then dishing out platitudes and new-ager tickle-bunnies.

It's nice that people care. I think more people should. I also realize it's a hell of a lot easier to 'show' care on-line so every one will think " WHAT a wonderful, caring person!" than it is to deal with (sometimes) harsh reality.

Because that is how *I* define 'caring' - caring enough to try and help someone to help themselves not just try and appear caring to others.

I sincerely hope the OP is fine. There is way too much preventable pain in this world. I also hope they check all the bases and not just ignore it or 'take up a hobby' in the hopes that it will just 'magically' go away. Maybe it will. I sincerely hope so. But maybe, just maybe...it won't. How nice to get the professional attention they may need to help it go away rather than to ignore it with distractions.

So, no , I won't f*** off just to please you. Why? Because I care about people.

Marto

MOD HAT ON

Marto. I have edited your post to remove the PM extract you posted from Jape. the forums rules clearly state that posting content from PM's is forbidden except with the express permission of both parties. Also if you actually read Japes post he said the same as the rest of us, and I quote:

QUOTE("Jape")

To me it sounds like the beginnings of sever depression breaking out so you must get the mundane help others suggest in case there may be a hormonal or similar imbalance that may be addressed to help in this.

You would seem to have skim read Japes post and not read it properly.

I apologise for breaking the forum rules regarding posting p.m.s . I am not 'arguing the call', but isn't there ALSO a rule about 'No personal attacks'? Or is that restricted to the forums and people are free to make personal or threatening attacks in p.m.s? ( serious question). If people act immaturely, I DO have a terrible tendency not to want to play along. I'll try and curb that.

No, I didn't skim Japes post. Telling someone whom they are not with or they have not taken a full medical history of ( and that would be confidential anyway ) what 'particular' problems they may have is, in my line, unethical. It can serve to frighten and/or mislead someone or encourage someone to 'self-treat' for a condition they may not have. My intentions were for the best treatment possible for the O.P. in my opinion and as with all these things, anyone is free to do as they choose. For me it would be unethical to make suggestions, for others, there are only the guidelines of common sense. If they don't have that, there is nothing anyone can do.

It is only my personal opinion and not meant as a criticism of UKP but I think that forums should be wary of it's members dispensing medical advice. Again, this is only my opinion. However, far be it from me to go against any forum's ethos so I will not advocate the kinds of things I was advocating again.

I am sorry to find that some at UKP countenance immature and slimy p.m.s from member to member. But then, I've never had much time for cowards. Anyone who is afraid to meet me head to head in debate and needs to sneak around the back of the bike-sheds and mutter invectives is beneath contempt and should grow up. That again, is only a personal opinion and not aimed at anyone. I believe people are supposed to be over 18 here?

Marto

Yes there are rules about personal attacks, and if you felt you were being attacked via PM or on threads then you should report it to the moderating team.


Jape gave his opinion and advise he thought may help yes, but he also said to seek medical help/advice the same as other posters in the thread why did you not have a go at my post in the same way you did Japes since I said much the same as himself?

I agree dispensing medical advice is not a good idea, BUT noone did this. someone shared their own personal experience of similar situation and how they coped with it, and also advised the original poster to seek medical advise.


No one here countenances abuse between members of any kind, the rules are the rules and any breaches are enforced when brought to the attention of the moderating team. If members do not report such things and choose to attempt to moderate the forums themselves (usually ineffectively)or publicly attempt to shame someone then how can the situation be reviewed by the mods and any possible appropriate action taken? you did not report the PM to us, you decided to post the extract (well I presume an extract) in direct breach of the forum rules yourself. that is the action you took and is the reason I edited your post as I did. If you have a problem with that, then feel free to make a report to the moderating team and they can review both my actions and also those of yourself and if you want to make a report with regards to an offensive PM then please do so.

This'll make Warlock feel better.

All he did was ask for some help!

From my own experience (with others) I would ask the OP to maybe have thier thyroid function checked, and also have a diabetes check. If your thyroid's out of kilter it can caues severe mood swings, as can diabetes. Also out of balance hormone levels can make a person act very out of character and there are umpteen things that can cause this - as suggested, a GP would be my first port of call.

Alongside that, the being kind to yourself suggestion is a good one. A vicious circle can develop when we feel guilty about how we are reacting.

I do hope the OP follows the GP suggestion up, as well as the others. Good luck.

I too would visit my GP as everyone has suggested.

There could be many reasons for your behaviour, such as an allergic reaction to Caffeine. Best go and and get checked-out, your GP will know where to start

lol it has put a smile on my face

and its really not that bad i am a very passive person (as annoying as it is!!) its just i have a few small out bursts of anger and frustration that sometimes are a bit noticeable from space.


thank you all so much for your understanding i am looking in to it more and will talk to my GP. I do however need to learn to not take things so personally then maybe start addressing other deeper issues.

Thanks again guys. quick question dose anyone have any relaxation and centering techniques that they are willing to share?

Relatively quick and easy one: sit in a darkened room with a candle in front of you. Defocus your eyes as you stare at the candle. Now concentrate on your breathing. Observe passively how you breath. Without exerting yourself, see if you can slow your breathing - not suddenly, but gradually. Stop where it feels comfortable. Continue to concentrate on your breathing, either with your eyes closed, or unfocussed on the candle.

Warning: this is a mild form of autohypnosis. No ill will come of it, but you might fall asleep - so do ensure the candle is in a safe place!