Full Version: Rites Of Passage
as i am a lady of a certain age and will be approaching the dreaded menopause probably in the not too distant future i was wondering if there is a rite of passage or some sort of ceremony for this time in a womans life,im trying to look on it in a positve way and would like to mark the occasion in some way,does anyone have any ideas that i can mull over,i know it will be best if anything i decided to do comes from me but i would like a nudge in the right direction if possible,thanks in advance for any suggestions
Why deviate from modern tradition? What is wrong with getting a tattoo?? 
One of the problems you may have is with timing. 
You see, from discussions with others, unless you have a hysterectomy, the pre-menopausal stage can last for years. Mine began around 2001 and I still haven't entered the menopause. I'm beginning to think it's mythical.
To address your question, though, some women have 'croning' ceremonies. Some pick it by age. Fifty seems common, for some reason. For some women that's because it's the Cheiron return (astrology). Maybe everyone's supposed to have reached the menopause by then. If so, anyone in their forties planning for it may have a surprise! Perhaps modern diet and healthier living means that in this, as in everything else, the old ideas of age simply don't apply.
Anyway, if you Google you'll probably find any number of 'croning' ceremonies out there, or different types. Your start point is probably working out what you're looking to do in a rite of passage. Do you wish to celebrate or to mourn? Or both? that might help you find something that suits you.
You see, from discussions with others, unless you have a hysterectomy, the pre-menopausal stage can last for years. Mine began around 2001 and I still haven't entered the menopause. I'm beginning to think it's mythical.
To address your question, though, some women have 'croning' ceremonies. Some pick it by age. Fifty seems common, for some reason. For some women that's because it's the Cheiron return (astrology). Maybe everyone's supposed to have reached the menopause by then. If so, anyone in their forties planning for it may have a surprise! Perhaps modern diet and healthier living means that in this, as in everything else, the old ideas of age simply don't apply.
Anyway, if you Google you'll probably find any number of 'croning' ceremonies out there, or different types. Your start point is probably working out what you're looking to do in a rite of passage. Do you wish to celebrate or to mourn? Or both? that might help you find something that suits you.
I agree with Elswyth
There is a book by Dorothy Morrison titled In praise of the crone, I haven`t read it so cant recommend it personally.. its probably time i did though
winterwitch x
There is a book by Dorothy Morrison titled In praise of the crone, I haven`t read it so cant recommend it personally.. its probably time i did though
winterwitch x
There are four common components to rites of passage that are generally accepted by the academic community :
1.Letting go of an old identity
2. The wandering
3. The new identity
4. Anchoring
If you can work out something that incorporates these four then you should have something personalised and that fulfils the psychological functions of a rite of passage. Just bear in mind that rites of passage in traditional cultures are rarely easy. Some include lots of pain or scary things.
1.Letting go of an old identity
2. The wandering
3. The new identity
4. Anchoring
If you can work out something that incorporates these four then you should have something personalised and that fulfils the psychological functions of a rite of passage. Just bear in mind that rites of passage in traditional cultures are rarely easy. Some include lots of pain or scary things.
Hi Morbidia. Well, don't really think that I can advise on the content of the ritual - coming from someone who is not at that stage of my life or been through that passage it wouldn't be particularly clever of me
However, I notice you're in the South West. How far are you from Cardiff? There's a site there: Tinkinswood, that is a very old woman indeed and she would welcome you. I suggest a full moon and a trial run beforehand so you know where you're going. Walk out there by yourself and you'll see the moon come right up between her legs lol. Sit on top of the cap stone and just spend some time with her. I've had a number of profound experiences there and I know instinctively she'd be a good place to go. Though wrap up warm if you go in winter. When you're finished there, when you've had the thoughts you needed to have and you've talked with her long enough, go down inside her and there's a small hole on the back right you can crawl through - like a little re-birthing May need to paddle to get there, sometimes she's watery lol
Rites of passage often have two parts: the lone part, in which you need time and space alone to consider the change and to make the change, and also the group: the community and the people who have been there before you. If you have close friends or family who have been through that transition, that's a good time to get together for a meal and a laugh - listen to their experiences. Let them support you through yours.
The problem with this transition is that culture as a whole is changing. There are three facades that need reconciling in my mind’s eye, different ways of looking at elder women in society:
1. As an elder, as someone wiser and life experienced. Something recognised in Pagan society and in ancient cultures perhaps, but not valued in wider society.
2. The Victorian 'out to pasture' attitude towards women passed child bearing age. The overall attitude to women that stifled the holistic view of life experienced wise women. You have to reconcile your place in society with society's view of you - you have to have a strong answer to both. To know where you stand; where you're rooted.
3. The modern-age view of women working and being entrepreneurial and socially active well into their old age - far beyond the expectations of women in times gone by: that you can be healthy, active, income-generating and independent for a long, long time. An active elder in a way women haven't been before, or in cultural memory. A new freedom.
So three areas to think about perhaps. I know the Brahma Kumaris offer rites of passage workshops and workshops focusing on the role of women throughout their lives. Perhaps worth asking your local centre if they do anything - it's run by women so they might be good to just talk to.
Let us know how it goes, perhaps your experiences and what you decide to do will be useful to others wondering the same questions.
However, I notice you're in the South West. How far are you from Cardiff? There's a site there: Tinkinswood, that is a very old woman indeed and she would welcome you. I suggest a full moon and a trial run beforehand so you know where you're going. Walk out there by yourself and you'll see the moon come right up between her legs lol. Sit on top of the cap stone and just spend some time with her. I've had a number of profound experiences there and I know instinctively she'd be a good place to go. Though wrap up warm if you go in winter. When you're finished there, when you've had the thoughts you needed to have and you've talked with her long enough, go down inside her and there's a small hole on the back right you can crawl through - like a little re-birthing
May need to paddle to get there, sometimes she's watery lol Rites of passage often have two parts: the lone part, in which you need time and space alone to consider the change and to make the change, and also the group: the community and the people who have been there before you. If you have close friends or family who have been through that transition, that's a good time to get together for a meal and a laugh - listen to their experiences. Let them support you through yours.
The problem with this transition is that culture as a whole is changing. There are three facades that need reconciling in my mind’s eye, different ways of looking at elder women in society:
1. As an elder, as someone wiser and life experienced. Something recognised in Pagan society and in ancient cultures perhaps, but not valued in wider society.
2. The Victorian 'out to pasture' attitude towards women passed child bearing age. The overall attitude to women that stifled the holistic view of life experienced wise women. You have to reconcile your place in society with society's view of you - you have to have a strong answer to both. To know where you stand; where you're rooted.
3. The modern-age view of women working and being entrepreneurial and socially active well into their old age - far beyond the expectations of women in times gone by: that you can be healthy, active, income-generating and independent for a long, long time. An active elder in a way women haven't been before, or in cultural memory. A new freedom.
So three areas to think about perhaps. I know the Brahma Kumaris offer rites of passage workshops and workshops focusing on the role of women throughout their lives. Perhaps worth asking your local centre if they do anything - it's run by women so they might be good to just talk to.
Let us know how it goes, perhaps your experiences and what you decide to do will be useful to others wondering the same questions.
QUOTE(elswyth @ Nov 30 2008, 11:13 AM)
Why deviate from modern tradition? What is wrong with getting a tattoo??
my girls have been trying to tlak me into getting a tattoo for ages,but i dont like pain so im not giving in
QUOTE(Moonhunter @ Nov 30 2008, 11:51 AM)
One of the problems you may have is with timing.
You see, from discussions with others, unless you have a hysterectomy, the pre-menopausal stage can last for years. Mine began around 2001 and I still haven't entered the menopause. I'm beginning to think it's mythical.
To address your question, though, some women have 'croning' ceremonies. Some pick it by age. Fifty seems common, for some reason. For some women that's because it's the Cheiron return (astrology). Maybe everyone's supposed to have reached the menopause by then. If so, anyone in their forties planning for it may have a surprise! Perhaps modern diet and healthier living means that in this, as in everything else, the old ideas of age simply don't apply.
Anyway, if you Google you'll probably find any number of 'croning' ceremonies out there, or different types. Your start point is probably working out what you're looking to do in a rite of passage. Do you wish to celebrate or to mourn? Or both? that might help you find something that suits you.
You see, from discussions with others, unless you have a hysterectomy, the pre-menopausal stage can last for years. Mine began around 2001 and I still haven't entered the menopause. I'm beginning to think it's mythical.
To address your question, though, some women have 'croning' ceremonies. Some pick it by age. Fifty seems common, for some reason. For some women that's because it's the Cheiron return (astrology). Maybe everyone's supposed to have reached the menopause by then. If so, anyone in their forties planning for it may have a surprise! Perhaps modern diet and healthier living means that in this, as in everything else, the old ideas of age simply don't apply.
Anyway, if you Google you'll probably find any number of 'croning' ceremonies out there, or different types. Your start point is probably working out what you're looking to do in a rite of passage. Do you wish to celebrate or to mourn? Or both? that might help you find something that suits you.
hmm yes i agree i might be being a bit premature,but i do like to plan ahead
QUOTE(Thinair @ Nov 30 2008, 04:21 PM)
Hi Morbidia. Well, don't really think that I can advise on the content of the ritual - coming from someone who is not at that stage of my life or been through that passage it wouldn't be particularly clever of me
However, I notice you're in the South West. How far are you from Cardiff? There's a site there: Tinkinswood, that is a very old woman indeed and she would welcome you. I suggest a full moon and a trial run beforehand so you know where you're going. Walk out there by yourself and you'll see the moon come right up between her legs lol. Sit on top of the cap stone and just spend some time with her. I've had a number of profound experiences there and I know instinctively she'd be a good place to go. Though wrap up warm if you go in winter. When you're finished there, when you've had the thoughts you needed to have and you've talked with her long enough, go down inside her and there's a small hole on the back right you can crawl through - like a little re-birthing May need to paddle to get there, sometimes she's watery lol
Rites of passage often have two parts: the lone part, in which you need time and space alone to consider the change and to make the change, and also the group: the community and the people who have been there before you. If you have close friends or family who have been through that transition, that's a good time to get together for a meal and a laugh - listen to their experiences. Let them support you through yours.
The problem with this transition is that culture as a whole is changing. There are three facades that need reconciling in my mind’s eye, different ways of looking at elder women in society:
1. As an elder, as someone wiser and life experienced. Something recognised in Pagan society and in ancient cultures perhaps, but not valued in wider society.
2. The Victorian 'out to pasture' attitude towards women passed child bearing age. The overall attitude to women that stifled the holistic view of life experienced wise women. You have to reconcile your place in society with society's view of you - you have to have a strong answer to both. To know where you stand; where you're rooted.
3. The modern-age view of women working and being entrepreneurial and socially active well into their old age - far beyond the expectations of women in times gone by: that you can be healthy, active, income-generating and independent for a long, long time. An active elder in a way women haven't been before, or in cultural memory. A new freedom.
So three areas to think about perhaps. I know the Brahma Kumaris offer rites of passage workshops and workshops focusing on the role of women throughout their lives. Perhaps worth asking your local centre if they do anything - it's run by women so they might be good to just talk to.
Let us know how it goes, perhaps your experiences and what you decide to do will be useful to others wondering the same questions.
However, I notice you're in the South West. How far are you from Cardiff? There's a site there: Tinkinswood, that is a very old woman indeed and she would welcome you. I suggest a full moon and a trial run beforehand so you know where you're going. Walk out there by yourself and you'll see the moon come right up between her legs lol. Sit on top of the cap stone and just spend some time with her. I've had a number of profound experiences there and I know instinctively she'd be a good place to go. Though wrap up warm if you go in winter. When you're finished there, when you've had the thoughts you needed to have and you've talked with her long enough, go down inside her and there's a small hole on the back right you can crawl through - like a little re-birthing
May need to paddle to get there, sometimes she's watery lol Rites of passage often have two parts: the lone part, in which you need time and space alone to consider the change and to make the change, and also the group: the community and the people who have been there before you. If you have close friends or family who have been through that transition, that's a good time to get together for a meal and a laugh - listen to their experiences. Let them support you through yours.
The problem with this transition is that culture as a whole is changing. There are three facades that need reconciling in my mind’s eye, different ways of looking at elder women in society:
1. As an elder, as someone wiser and life experienced. Something recognised in Pagan society and in ancient cultures perhaps, but not valued in wider society.
2. The Victorian 'out to pasture' attitude towards women passed child bearing age. The overall attitude to women that stifled the holistic view of life experienced wise women. You have to reconcile your place in society with society's view of you - you have to have a strong answer to both. To know where you stand; where you're rooted.
3. The modern-age view of women working and being entrepreneurial and socially active well into their old age - far beyond the expectations of women in times gone by: that you can be healthy, active, income-generating and independent for a long, long time. An active elder in a way women haven't been before, or in cultural memory. A new freedom.
So three areas to think about perhaps. I know the Brahma Kumaris offer rites of passage workshops and workshops focusing on the role of women throughout their lives. Perhaps worth asking your local centre if they do anything - it's run by women so they might be good to just talk to.
Let us know how it goes, perhaps your experiences and what you decide to do will be useful to others wondering the same questions.
thanks for these suggestions,im in Devon so i would have to get someone to take me to Cardiff,i do like the sound of the place you have mentioned though, you've given me lots to think about as well and as Moon hunter has pointed out i might have a while to wait ,but theres nothing like being prepared
QUOTE(morbidia @ Dec 1 2008, 11:11 PM)
QUOTE(elswyth @ Nov 30 2008, 11:13 AM)
Why deviate from modern tradition? What is wrong with getting a tattoo??
my girls have been trying to tlak me into getting a tattoo for ages,but i dont like pain so im not giving in
You could try getting a toy-boy instead
My rite of passage consisted of racing along to the GP and demanding HRT. Worked a treat! 
QUOTE(Tas Mania @ Dec 2 2008, 11:06 AM)
My rite of passage consisted of racing along to the GP and demanding HRT. Worked a treat!
would love to but im not allowed HRT for health reasons,its going to be a bit of a bummer when the time comes,i will have to go the herbal route
QUOTE(Gawain @ Dec 2 2008, 06:36 AM)
QUOTE(morbidia @ Dec 1 2008, 11:11 PM)
QUOTE(elswyth @ Nov 30 2008, 11:13 AM)
Why deviate from modern tradition? What is wrong with getting a tattoo??
my girls have been trying to tlak me into getting a tattoo for ages,but i dont like pain so im not giving in
You could try getting a toy-boy instead
hmmm,thats a good idea
I began the menopause at the age of 32 after I'd had an emergency hysterectomy. No-one would believe me at first, until I spoke to my Mum and told her exactly what I was feeling and experiencing, then she sent me to the doctors with a note *shame* telling him that I wasn't nuts, I really was having an early menopause! Yea, Gods, I love that woman but she drove me doolally at times! When I was refused hrt, I went to the health shop and bought some liquorice root. I dissolved it in warm water and drank it each time I felt ratty. I soon added evening primrose oil to the mix and I also found that massaging the tummy with evening primrose oil made me feel a hell of a lot calmer, for some reason. I wasn't told to do that, it seemed to be instinctual, but I noticed it got rid of some nasty stretch marks, too! As for a rite of passage..a solitary sunrise, followed by some relaxation and quiet reflection on your lifes acheivements, a warm sensual bath with your favourite bubbles, then a night on the town with your best girls, celebrating the re-birth of the warm and sensual woman that you are. There is no need for us to be a withered crone, hell, I intend to be as outrageous as I can for as long as I can! Not because being an older woman scares me, it doesn't, but I believe we can live, laugh, look beautiful and have fun FOR AS LONG AS WE CHOOSE! LET'S GO GIRLS!! PAAAAARRRTY!!!
QUOTE(Laineethepainter @ Jan 3 2009, 01:05 AM)
I began the menopause at the age of 32 after I'd had an emergency hysterectomy. No-one would believe me at first, until I spoke to my Mum and told her exactly what I was feeling and experiencing, then she sent me to the doctors with a note *shame* telling him that I wasn't nuts, I really was having an early menopause! Yea, Gods, I love that woman but she drove me doolally at times! When I was refused hrt, I went to the health shop and bought some liquorice root. I dissolved it in warm water and drank it each time I felt ratty. I soon added evening primrose oil to the mix and I also found that massaging the tummy with evening primrose oil made me feel a hell of a lot calmer, for some reason. I wasn't told to do that, it seemed to be instinctual, but I noticed it got rid of some nasty stretch marks, too! As for a rite of passage..a solitary sunrise, followed by some relaxation and quiet reflection on your lifes acheivements, a warm sensual bath with your favourite bubbles, then a night on the town with your best girls, celebrating the re-birth of the warm and sensual woman that you are. There is no need for us to be a withered crone, hell, I intend to be as outrageous as I can for as long as I can! Not because being an older woman scares me, it doesn't, but I believe we can live, laugh, look beautiful and have fun FOR AS LONG AS WE CHOOSE! LET'S GO GIRLS!! PAAAAARRRTY!!!
i will raise a glass to that
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.