Hey All

I have a query I wanted You guys opinions on - not some book etc

How does one find a coven? What does it involve to become a member of one? Is it like a cult? I have never spoken to anyone who was a member of a coven and it seems that most people on here are not or are not now. I know some folk used to be and left because they felt restrained but I was kinda hoping for an open description of that?

It just seems to be something that you don't tend to hear a lot about (probably for obvious reasons)

Could anybody shed some light?

I mean I've read about covens in books etc etc but I just wondered what you all thought about it.........

Some of it is word of mouth in finding a coven, sometimes they are listed on the internet, its a case of putting yourself out there and letting it be known you're looking for a coven.

I've haven't actually belonged to a coven myself, so no experience to pull upon about what its like to be in a coven, but I should imagine if you find a group that suits you it can be alot of fun and an amazing experience of working together with so many likeminded people, and of course.

Witch Vox and similar sites lists covens and ones that might be looking for new people, or are willing to take on novices etc.

Of course always be safe and make sure you let family and friends know where you're going, most covens seem to hold open circles where people can come have a look see, whhich is probablyt he sensible thing to do first - and of course take a friend with you.

If you feel uncomfortable for any reason then leave.
As for calling a coven a cult, I dunno if thats really a correct term to use.. I tend to think of coven's more as clubs that people who think siimilarly and have similar ideals belong to.

I'm in the process of finding/joining a coven, but it's not necessarily as straightforward as answering an ad. My experience is that it's a slow and delicate process where both the group (and from what I've experienced, the word group is used more than coven), and you, take time to get to know each other and see if you would fit in with what their group is all about. Your personality may be not what the group is looking for to enhance or fit in with the group's personality.

It's certainly not a cult! They seem to be primarily Wiccan (though if anyone knows of any other type then I'd be interested to hear), and is a group of (probably) Wiccans who have formed to practise their faith as per the teachings of Gardner et al.

Actually I said the wrong thing when I said 'is it like a cult?' - that just adds to the stigma covens already have.... I shouldn't have wrote that at all - what I meant was more - how closed door is it? How hard are they to get into? And is it difficult to leave once you are associated with a coven?

Cult was so the wrong word to use - sorry peeps!

LOL don't really know Willow, I imagine joining one can be quite difficult, because as Pomona says its learning about the group and seeing if you fit in with them, and they with you.

From what I understand you are always required to keep the Coven's "secrets", and well not to do so would be bad form. But there is nothing stopping you leaving,a nd from what I gather of many of the writers I've read, you can even join one or one coven, and you can still be classed a member even if you decide you need time to be alone.

Really, the only way you're going to find out, is to find a coven, go along to moots, ask questions, maybe someone on this site will answer or pm you.

Something will turn up.

Well, like I've said in my post, and Very in hers, they can be hard to get into and in my view, they SHOULD be hard to get into - because it demonstrates a determination and a real interest, rather than it being like joining the Girl Guides because you like the uniform and leaving a few weeks later. It's partly why covens/groups are perceived as "closed" - they want someone who has dedication and who takes the time to prove their interest etc. Because being in a coven, from what I'm beginning to understand, is bloody hard work. And because when you join one you are joining a group who you have to trust and get on with and basically almost form a family with. Would you consider yourself able to put that amount of trust in an individual whose ad you answered and they then said "hey, join our coven?" These groups are more likely (though I apologise if I'm disparaging anyone here) to be set up by wannabe Charmed aficionados who are more interested in casting love spells than actual religious practice.

And as for leaving, well, not having joined yet, I can't really talk about leaving - but then I wouldn't join something I was already wondering how easy it was to leave. From speaking to others who have been in covens though, and then left, I don't think it's like a cult where they come after you etc to get you back again!

I suppose the best way of finding a coven is bit like finding a boy/girl friend.

You know the advice for boy friend hunting ... no use sitting at home waiting for a knock at the door, join clubs, socialise.

The same goes for coven hunting, go to moots, events, camps. Become a 'face' in the community, check out who is who, and ask for guidance.

This easier in some parts of the country than others, for instance in east London, where I used to live I know of two covens who hold open moots and recruit from those who attend. Where I live now in Beds, the only active group appears to be for wimyn only.

Pagan postcode lottery.


dav

Thanks Ladies

It's just something that has started to interest me. I don't think I would like to join a coven because I just don't think I have the dedication power needed. I am fine working on my own and doing my own thing but then that is the very reason why it interests me because sometimes I think I need an extra push and I am not as dedicated to my path as I should be - do you know what I mean?

I know this will sound stupid but I really like the idea of a kinda Hogwarts for Pagans - you know like a school or some sort of course that you could go on just when you've passed the stage of curiosity and learning the basics........

Well, there's loads of correspondance courses out there, as well as some that you attend in person.

It's not something that appeals to me personally, but others have found it useful.

There are many different ways. Some covens advertise outer circles and training groups - that's a good way. Also becoming active in your local community and finding out likely candidates for running covens (they're not always open and out). NorthStar runs a coven finding service - write to BM Northstar, London WC1NN 3XX enclosing an SAE for further details.



Dedication and hard work. I know one person who joined a training group run by a coven to seek potential members, of 100 initial email responses, 10 people said they would turn up to the training, 6 people turned up to the first week, 3 people to the second, and at the end of the short, once a fortnight training course, only one person had gone to all 6 evenings. Showing commitment helps. It also can take a great deal of time and isn't something that should be rushed. Hanging a notice on the astral also works

The seeker needs to do all the running too. If you're hoping your High Priestess and coven mates will be there kicking your bum to motivate you then the answer is no. There are reasons why the seeker needs to do all the running. Kate West's book, The Real Witches Coven gives some good straightforward information for seekers.

Be prepared to travel - I know one person who used to fly each month from London to Dublin! That's rare, but most folks I know travel a good few miles for coven meetings - a round trip of 100 miles is not uncommon.

There are some good covens in the London area - they aren't too hard to find if you look.



Before joining any coven it's important to find out what restrictions are in place. Some covens don't allow you to work with people outside the coven at all, particularly when doing the early training. You need to decide whether you're happy in a skyclad coven or not. Obviously meeting coven members also helps you decide whether it's the right group for you - there's no need to take the first coven that comes along.

If you want to do something constructive and useful in the meantime, then there are some good correspondence courses that you can have a go at.

I hope that is of help to you.

Not something I would recomend in the current climate

One thing you have to consider before joining a coven is if you are willing to accept their POV, their rules and lets face it their 'brand' of wicca/witchcraft


Not something that should be rushed, but then a decent group wouldn't expect a snap decision IMHO

Just a tad on the 'leaving them' bit. I don't know from experience but I imagine leaving is simple...its not as if they lock you in the basement because you know their secrets?!?

I'm a coven based ecclectic witch. We have Wiccan influences, but we don't follow a set path (e.g. Alexandrian). Our Coven kind of grew from a circle of like-minded people - we have two 3rd degree initiates, people with experience in Kabbalah, Masonic ritual, Rosecrucianism and Christianity! Our ages range from early twenties right through to late forties. I s'pose we're quite a relaxed group, as everyone's point of view is discussed, and we don't always agree!! As for people leaving, it can be an unpleasant experience, or it can be by mutual assent. Same as break-ups with any group of people. My coven are my best friends and family rolled into one - we support each other when it's needed and keep feet firmly on the ground with sarcasm and joking when required! No fluffy bunnies or Lady Ashen Rose of the Purple Petticoats here!