This isn't the most serious of threads, before you all go saying that I don't need to change my vocabulary. I know this, you know this, I would just like to have more options, some new phrases for daily pagan life.

Please be inventive, if the hangovers have yet to kick in....

So, instead of "goodbye" my pagan alternative is?

Instead of "Jesus Christ!" my pagan alternative is?

Blimey?

etc. I'm sure you all get the idea!

Incidently, if any of you can think up some child-friendly "swearing" I would appreciate it - given that at work basic Anglo-Saxon in front of the pupils is frowned upon I could do with some good substitutes If nothing else it will at least confuse the little darlings

Love and light (if that isn't too fluffy.... )

I can't say that much of my vocabulary is particularly pagan. I tend to avoid expressions like blessed be, merry meet, love and light etc as I find them a bit too twee and sickly for my liking, plus the fact I'm not always very fond of the person I'm addressing.

I tend to use 'Oh my Gods' or 'Oh ye Gods' as a mild expletive,as they roll off the tongue quite nicely, but for a good swearing session nothing beats a long list of either german or traditional anglo saxon.

Of course, if you feel like being inventive, you can come up with all sorts of insults- there's a norse swearing post elsewhere (in the snug?) which may help you out.

'Blooming heck', 'fish hooks', 'Oh my giddy aunt' and 'for crying out loud' are all suitable for use in front of kids, and it's relatively easy to adopt them

I've taken to saying 'frak' a lot.

Not sure if, "Isis H. on a pogo stick!" or "Pan Almighty!" will take off.

I'm all for making up words and using them and seeing how long it takes, if at all, people you don't know from Lilith use them back at you.

'golly golly gumdrops' and 'sasperella' were the 'bad words' when I was little. Still love the word sasperella, think its some sort of tropical drink?

I like the sound of "Pan Almighty!"

"Frak" is another suitable contender - sounds rude but isn't (well, not in this galaxy!).

And "fish hooks" has a certain something to it

Thank you people! If you hear any pupils muttering about that weird teacher at school who uses the silliest words, you know who to blame

i have a daft friend who shouts out 'oh corgette frittata ' !!!!!!!!!!!

Dagnabbit is a good word! It's not pagan but it's a good word

instead of yelling oh FFS at work i'm regularily heard to cry "eeeeee by gum" in a rather false and silly yorkshire accent. Although if i'm out of earshot of customers I quite often say "F*** a duck" LOL or I say "Oh for fecks sake" "feck , feck feckittty feck feck " is another. been known to swear in italian as well but dont know how to spell it lol.

One of my favourites is "ceilliau" which is Welsh for testicles, which in my mind equates to "b*ll*cks" Again, not Pagan, but very good for getting rid of frustrations, and if I'm among non-Welsh-speakers nobody has the vaguest idea what I'm saying!

I really like Terry Pratchett's "Anal vapour breath" hehehehehe, fantastic.. don't use it much these days tho.

And "round spherical objects" use to be a favourite, but again rarely use now.

Rather fond of "buggery b*llocks" tho.

one of my favourite curses is "damn piles of putrid effluence" yeah I know not pagan but hey.... its better than calling someone a piece of s**t... heheheh

I tend to stick to "bother". Very dull, I know - and I don't even work with children - or have any.

OK... ones I've been known to use:

Heimdall's ear!
Odin's Eye!
Thor's Hammer!
Mjollnir!
Bloody Muspelheim! or just a straight "Muspelheim!"

Others for more specific occassions...

It's colder than Ymir's jockstrap in/out here!
Hotter than Surtur's armpit!

T

He really does too, honestly

Nuts! Succinct and sweet and better than b****x!

Feck! Has to be used in honour of Father Ted!

OMIGODS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I say "oh gods" a lot, easy, paganish and rolls nice off the tongue
I'm north of norwegian, so I have a rather huge vocabulary of nasty swearwords just from living there for 12 years (we're known for it ), but I'm not really one for swearing that much..

Heh...'sarsparilla' is a drink- a sort of fennely soda pop...like root beer (or dandelion and burdock- great hangover cure!). As far as swearing goes..I like 'Chunt'. It means nothing in itself...but I live in a chav-heavy neighbourhood and find that one word give me satisfaction.

~E

I use the word frig a lot......such as friggin hell, or, for frigs sake! and even frig off!! no idea what religious background its from!!! but it works for me! (well at least when we have visitors!)

I tend to call on Frigga alot - but a short version FRIG ...
The other that springs to mind is Sugar butties

jane
Hippygoth

Come to think of it, and this may be odd but I have used it since before I knew what was what, if you know what I mean. I think I was about nine years when I first said, 'Oh, hellfire.' (I know that 'Hell' is an idea from the church, but in my mind, it has become a place devoid of reason, and emotion, and useful in a way. Perhaps 'Limbo fire..but that doesn't sound as good..*lol*) and (learned from my mother, a devout Catholic ) 'Witches' Tits!' As I get older and (hopefully) wiser, I still say 'Witches Tits' when I'm really narked about something. Not proper for us? Who knows...but it is so much better to me than the staid anglo-saxon 'F***', somehow.



-E

*Also thinking that me mate's idea about adding in animals instead of swears works well for us..'Well..you can pig off!' or..'What a catting mess'. Perhaps particular to us, but still works..try it!

I still use the Jesus H Christ and God exclamations on occasion though not a problem to me as no religious meaning to me weirdly enough.

My fav exclamations at work, which usually crack someone up are -

Smeg
Bug**ry B*ll*cks and
Arse Burgers

But then I am also know for being quite outspoken and saying what I think in an abusive way after putting the phone down on complete muppets luckily people think it's quite funny - just can't help myself

Although not Pagan but loved my moms swearing of sorts.

He's colder than a witches tit or It's hotter than a croch outside. I found them funny but this is a woman who would call her friend if she felt the need to say the word f*(k.

I tend to say God's Blood and Drat a lot these days as I've been trying to keep my real swearing down to when only necessary, like when I really really get pissed off.

Another I tend to tell people I'm annoyed with is to 'Go pound salt', 'Here's a quarter, go call someone who gives a crap" "Did your parents have any children who lived?" And my Grandmother's favourite:"Go Shite in ya hat and pull it over ya ears"

I tend to say quite random things such as........

"Toilet paper!"
and
"Bog roll!"
and
"Oh......toilet!" comes out quite often......

as well as fairly normal stuff

"Blinkin' 'ell"

"GODDAMMIT"

"poo"

"B*ll*cks and s**t"
and
"s**ty B*ll*cks!"

i swear like a sailor.I've never said Jesus christ,instead i always say Bleeding jesus.Got that off my dad.It's strange as my mother never swears and my dad well yeah thats another thing.Half the time i don't even know i've sworn,and wonder why people look at me strangely...

That's very interesting and you might be surprised to find that the Thor's Hammer one was commonly used in German. When I was a kid, before we had all the big swear words, we used to say (and some older people still do, Gewitter Donner Keil.

Gewitter is a thunderstorm with lightning.
Donner means thunder but it is also a form of the name of the god Donar (Thor), Thursday is for example Donnerstag.
Keil is a wedge, one could construe it as a club or a hammer.

I suppose this is a really a very old swear and meant as much as being so pissed off that one could cause a thunderstorm like Donnar with his big hammer or that Donnar was so in rage that he was hitting the hammer to cause thunderstorms.

I personally like the old Fu(k still best. And I love the posibilities of a rude inversion in the English language. Like for example, "I don't be-fu(king-lieve it".

Heil Odin,

S.

Again, not pagan, but I do like "Filddlesticks and flapdoodle!". Alternatively, "Blast and botheration!".

In terms of real swearwords, I have to draw your attention to Stephen Fry's magnificent "Doublefuck, hell and arse tits!".

Peace (and I don't CARE if it's fluffy),

lyi.

These also aren't pagan specifically, but I'm exceedingly fond of "drat!" and, to mix things up a bit, "rats!" as an alternative. Of course, I swear pretty much constantly wth the good old traditional four-letters, happily mocking the notion that the use of such indicateds an inability on the part of the user to express himself more creatively. Anyone who knows me knows that's nonsense. I just happen to like 'em.

Also, being in the US, I find that I can get away with the use of British swear words and raise few eyebrows, but somehow I don't expect that adapting the practice and attempting to use Amewrican swear words where you are would work so well.

sometimes I like to turn my cussing childish.

Oh Bottom!

and I like combining swearwords. Twunt is a favourite. because I'm far too polite for the one that rhymes with it.

Donkeycock.

Godspissonit!

I tend to use 'Twonk' or 'Shit biscuits'. No idea why. Twonk is kinda 'T*at' and 'Wa***r', I think. Some random word my mother made up and I kinda stole.

Oh my Gods is another.

I say the f word far too often, as in "oh, for Fs sake..".

But I am definitely going to adopt Pan Almighty from now on.

Has a wonderfully melodious ring about it.

B

I quite often say Pooh!

Short for Pooh Bear, of course

Some pagan and some not so pagan:-

Frag = F$%^
Drek = shit
For Freyas sake = for f$%^s sake
Fenris shit = F&*( shit
Abso fragging lutely = f$%^ing A
Merchant banker = w£$%*r
By Loki's balls = bloody hell (usually when the bus/train/tube turns up on time)


Storm Raven

I have no idea where it came from but I find myself using TWONK and TWONKER ............. a composite creation that sprang fully fledged from my lips when I tried to get out of the car and the AM moved off.

my merged word is Twunt

Not Pagan...and not a swear word...put particulalry effective at stopping strings of expeletives from the mouths of gobby teenagers. Comes with a money back Queenie guarantee!

Insert gobby teens swearing here...and reply with...

'And Liza's dad has an armadillo'

Q