Has anyone made any specific provisions about their funeral arrangements? I know it may not be the nicest of topics to discuss but I am curious as to whether you have made any specific gurantees to be buried / cremated in a specific way rather than a standard Christian based service.
Are there Pagans who (as being able to perform handfasting rituals) able to provide a funeral service?

I'm getting round to writing a will in the next couple of months, once all this house hoo-hah has settled down, and I'm going to set out my funeral requirements there. Cremation for me, unless by some chance that I come by a lot of money and can be carbonised into diamond form (talk about the family jewels eh?). Tree planted in memory of me somewhere. Nothing flash for the ceremony, just a quick service for the sake of dignity, and then hopefully a chin wag in the pub about how great everyone thought I was.

My partner and I have reserved a place in a local nature reserve / place of burial, a natural funeral with cardboard coffin, no marker, so back to the earth. Hope we don't need it for a while though

http://www.naturaldeath.org.uk/

There are pagans around who will perform funeral services. We have asked younger friends to do this and I hope there will be some simple dance and drumming from friends too.

Interestingly our local council crematorium chapel has very 'pagan' stained glass windows. The main window depicts, sun, moon, earth, air fire and water. Then there are 12 smaller windows, 10 of which each depict a sign of the zodiac. The last two are clear glass - I think they ran out of money.

I've already made sure that my next of kin (my mother) knows what I want when I die - a simple ecological burial in a cardboard box, with a tree if they are feeling fancy. I've made sure that I've spoken to her about it a few times now so that she knows that I'm not Christian (I haven't mentioned my religion otherwise) and don't want to be burnt. She also knows my views on organ donation.

Slightly morbid to have the conversation, but I'd rather she knew than didn't.

I'm not bothered about any kind of religious service should I die - after all, I won't be there, and the point of a funeral is (to me at least) more to comfort the living. So long as they don't bury me in a Christian place or way, then if they want to celebrate my life in a religious service before or afterwards, then fine. Like I said, I won't be there!

Ok this is weird..i was sitting in bed this morning ( not very well) and thinking what happens when we die...i only know of the christan service type thing with the church etc..

Light up the Webber grill, toss some lighter fluid on me, and instant funeral pyre!

Hubby knows I want to be burned.

http://www.liferites.org/death/index.html

Has some pretty useful info

aye! same for me! burn me and throw my ashes to the sea!
(when im dead that is... i know some ppl want me dead already)

My funerary requirements were settled before I heard the call of my current path, so they are Christian.

Its a cremation for me, with the coffin and service order already worked out and described (we is having All Creatures Bright and Beautiful as the hymn), I have also picked the spot I am to be scattered.

All this was done when I drew up my first will 13 years ago (I was 28 at the time and in good health)

Nowadays I am tempted to seek a service more in keeping with my beliefs but to be honest I will be happy with what I picked out as I know that despite any amout of prayers I wont be going to the Christian Heaven (thankfully - sounds an awful place, all clouds, harps and bloody wings and I *hate* feathers ) so as far as I'm concerned I don't care what they sing or recite over my shell.

I know the Christian burial will make my mother feel more comfortable and it will cause less problems for her so I am happy (even though as an athiest she sees my corpse as equivalent to an empty can of beans)

I suppose if I were to reconsider (if I should outlive her (cheery aren't I ) I would still like to be burnt and scattered in the same place (its where me dad is, and have my name in the book like him though I might have hawthorn instead of pansies) but perhaps my service would dispense with the Christian message and perhaps include some of my poetry (I really must get round to writting a poem for a passiing) and maybe a rewording of All Things Bright......

Kev

Either to be turned into lifegem as stated earlier, or I want to be chucked into a deep part of the ocean.

I do not care what people do with me after I die. Whatever makes them happier or eases the pain for them. To me, funerals are rituals for those left behind not those that have left

At my old job I had to make provisions for my pension in the event there was money left at my death. It was the first time I really considered what I wanted to happen to me and my treasures. It took awhile but I found a pagan charity to name as a beneficiery.

I have donated my organs already and carry a donor card. That's the most important thing I have provided for.

i want a headstone even if its not where my ashes or body is I love wandering round graveyards reading headstones....

My husband & I have made plans to be cremated & then have our ashes mixed together.....not sure what to do with them after that yet...My mom also wants to be cremated & then use her ashes to fertilize a rose bush.LOL
We had a painting done with some of my sisters ashes (they mix the ashes with what ever color paint ) It turned out very beautiful ....

Zaylyn

Funny this topic should come up... death has been on my mind a lot lately.
Two collegues died a few weeks ago. And a friends father.
One was 47 year old, just started a new job and was really in a flow. Left his house on his motorbike one morning and didn´t return. They found his body in a ditch. He was a bachelor. It made me think. He didn´t knew he wouldn´t return to his house, so everything was ... like normal. Underwear on the bathroom floor, coffeemug on table, notebooks on bedside table... you know. And his old mum had to deal with it all, clean everything up, sell stuff, arrange everything.
It´s strange, isn´t it?

So, I have now had talks with hubby about things. I mean, stuff. I don´t want it. I want to sell, or give away, everything we do not use. I do not want someone else to have to deal with my old stuff that I have kept for sentimental reasons. They are sentimental only to me, and if I´m suddenly not there, who cares? So, away with it all!

And I want to be cremated too. I do not want my body to lie in an expensive coffin under ground. No, burn me up and let the ashes fertilize some tree somewhere. Maby that way I will finally get to go to India!

Wow, I find the idea of this really beautiful and it is now something I would consider!

I haven't arranged anything yet, although I do have will which thinking about it needs to be amended. I plan to leave any wealth, I do have, to some sort of animal charity. I needs to make sure any family members don't get anything of mine.
As for the service, I think I can have just a civil service, I would hate the idea of having Xtain service or a neo Wiccan type service. Shudder down spine, yes there it goes.
Probably a couple of my favourite pieces of music & then burnt. Then wherever in the world I might be, I would like my ashes to be returned to my home town & scattered somewhere a bit ruralish.
Thinking about it, my parents ashes are buried in grave, being non Xtain & not having a Xtain service, could my ashes be buried with them?

If they've paid for the plot I don't see why not ....

Me ? To be burnt. No mouldering bones for me. If my husband outlives me then he gets to scatter my ashes in a list of places I've given that are special to me. If he doesn't then it'll be my daughter and/or any further kids we may have. As well as being places special to me, they are places of calm and beauty that will hopefully help them with any grieving process. I've also written something like a series of small meditations for them, one for each place.

As I've said before, once I'm dead, burn my remains.

I have a horror of being buried alive.

Being burned alive wouldn't be much fun either, but at least it would be quick and in the case of deep coma, I'd never know.

I have always been a throwing stuff away kind of person but something my aunt told me a few years ago has made me even more so. A colleague of hers had died and she and another colleague went round to the house to sort the dead one's stuff out. They found some kind of penis extension kit which the person she went round with was all for telling the rest of the office about Also, there was a lot of stuff to sort through, most of it junk. It made her think about what she had (not anything you wouldn't want folk to find, just ordinary stuff) and the burden she'd be putting on her friends and family when they had to sort everything out. It has prompted her since to keep a tight ship and she regularly gets rid of things. Since she told me that I have become even more of a chucker-outer than I was before.


As to what to do with me after I'm dead SW and myself want our ashes to be mixed, so one of us will have to wait for the other before some other poor sod gets to cart them off to where we want them scattered.

I'm thinking about donating my body to science if you can still do that. I can be useful right to the last piece of skin with any luck

Otherwise, a funeral pyre sounds like the best thing to me. I've told my kids not to bury me. I also have a horror of being buried alive

Julia

I am an organ donor a fact which all of my friends are aware of. I have also bought a plot at the local cemetary.

I am going to be cremated once the doctors have taken all of the bits they want or need. In my will I have stipulated this and also that I wish my ashes to be scattered in the sea at dawn on a misty morning.

Quick question,

I know of quite a few people who are going to be cremated and their ashes scattered, they too have a plot at a cemetary, my question is why, if your going to be scattered then whats the point of a plot too?

I'm still undecided on my own funeral arrangements, but I think I will go for cremation, well the way things are going thats the only option that will be left when I die, due to lack of spaces in cemetaries.

They're pretty picky about which bodies they will accept for science. My partner's father wanted to donate his body to science, but they would not accept it, after the two strokes and three months in hospital.

Dunno what they're looking for, but they seem to be able to afford to be picky.

Well, I wouldn't have thought that they had that much choice

Oh, well, if they don't want me I'll just get someone to set fire to me and have done with it

Julia

Julia, I used to think there was a shortage of bodies for medical research, but apparently there is a surplus! Everybody's doing it, darling!

I'm a registered donar and I've told my family not to be silly and sentimental should they be asked any sensible questions at a traumatic time. The rest of me can be cremated, but there's air pollution to consider when it comes to cremation. So burial might not be such a bad idea but then there's a plot to buy and money to waste on a coffin. So it'll be a nice eco friendly cardboard one. But yeah, the cemetries are full and they get dug up later on down the line to make way for a car park. Any one remember some nutter who wanted to leave his remains to Battersea Dogs Home so the unwanted puppies could chow down on him? Perhaps he wasn't so mad after all. Gross, but not necessarily mad.

I suppose burial at sea will be the least polluting. The fishes can have me. So the next time you bite down on your cod 'n' chips ... And you hardly knew me!

Iv told my partner I want my coffin lined with lead cause I dont want to be eaten by bugs, I know its silly and I doubt he would be able to afford it when the time comes anyhow, I also want sarah brightman a time to say goodbye played I love that song and think it would be apt for the occasion. Also if the choise came im all for donating my organs to help others. Iv told him no to donating them to science though as iv watched a few programs where people have exsperimented with body parts in ways I just wouldnt be happy with.

The Pharsees (I think and sp) traditionally leave their dead out in the open to be devoured by the local wildlife. Unfortunately, due to the use of a particular antibiotic during the later stages of life, they are now killing off all the vultures which do such a good job clearing up carrion

So, how about just leaving ourselves lying around somewhere for the local crows and magpies

Julia

I had a will made a couple of years ago, and discussed funeral arrangements with my solicitor - he thought it would be best to leave written instructions with my executor, as it's easier to update that way if I decide to make any changes.
I've kept it fairly simple so far,

"No church service. A simple civil reception to be held for friends and any remaining family to celebrate my life. The ‘wake’ to be celebrated outdoors if the weather permits, with a bonfire and spit-roasted meat. Mead, ale, and fruit wines to be served. No dark clothing to be worn by anyone – guests to wear white or bright colours. My remains to be cremated and scattered in either Kew Gardens or the Gardens of Heligan with the appropriate permission, or scattered in my own garden if permission is refused. A small memorial plaque to be placed in local crematorium."

My partner thinks it's very morbid to have already decided on funeral arrangements at the grand old age of 24, considering he's got ten years on me and still hasn't got a will. I think it's sensible though, especially as there have been a few sudden deaths in our circle over the past couple of years - you never know what'll happen *shrug*

It is never too soon to do your funeral arrangements but do tell everyone as well what you want so that those eventually doing the funeral arrangement will not be bullied by funeral directors into spending far more than you actually need. Many Undertakers have a way of working presure with guilt to convince the person doing the arrangement to spend far more than is necessary or required. Try not to just put the arrangements in the will cos it is often the case that the funeral instructions are only found on reading the will after the funeral when it is too late to carry out the wishes mentioned. If you want special music, poems, readings etc get them together asap and keep them with the funeral arrangement so it is not too daunting for the family at the time and to make it easier for them.... Just some thoughts based on things I have seen go wrong.

I hadn't thought about it.. I am only young but there are people younger than me dying all the time so I guess it's never too early. I'd rather have that one morbid chat with my family instead of getting buried/whatever in a way that I wouldn't have wanted.

I was always scared I'd die in my sleep when I was younger so I'd put notes under my pillow about who gets to have what of my stuff. Ha, innocence! All I had was a few CDs and clothes... usual teenagey stuff

The idea about making a painting from the ashes is awesome though, really good and original.

hello,

i want to have a horse drawn carriage with all the trimmings and then onto a green burial, no embarming for me, let nature feed me back to mother earth.

shirl

Has anyone thought about a living will? I'm sure this opens all sorts of doors to debate here.

As for my funeral, I haven't thought about it but I'm sure I'll get around to it in one of my maudlin moments.

I'm not sure how a pagan funeral in which the required dress for attendees will be tarts and vicars is going to work, though.

(I'll be a tart, by the way.)

The thought of being buried gives me the creeps.Ok so i have watched far too many horror movies in my time.I liked the idea of being cremated up until i heard,well read an article on a man who had been deep freezed and then his body pulvarised and the remains scattered on his spot of choice. So out all of that i think DEEP FREEZE ME. I am very low impact on nature, so out of all of them i think the latter would be the best for the environment.
If that fails, then send me to a country where they eat people...

Being eaten is less creepy than being burned? lol okaaay

for me I want to be burned in a simple cardboard box or something or even without the box is fine

GG

Leaving life is just as important as how it's lived. After my father was cremated I suggested to my mother and sisters that we put his ashes into a weir on the river he'd spent much of his early life living next to.

We did that, and it sits well, from one tributary into the Clyde and then to the sea. While I'll be past caring by the time I'm dead I hope for something symbolic that would give my loved ones the same kind of comfort as my father's farewell did.

This can be complicated or simple. I am now 52. Many years ago I wanted an ocean internment so the fishes could have me, that is now sooo expensive. I am an ex Afrika man and I think the ancient ways of leaving a corpse for Hyena or Vulture is cool but not now the done thing.
A cardboard or wicker basket and tree, yip, a last resort, I am looking at the cheepoo ist way for those thinking Thank the Goddss he's gone!
Like the Battersea man if legal I would happily be chomped on at the nearest Zoo!

I am a Wizard handcrafter and`work with dead aniamals. I see these poor creatures and hope I honour them by working with their remains...but me!???

I have witnesed old grave sites dug up and the plethora of small human remains which is sad, digits, fingers, toes, teeth etc.[SIZE=1][SIZE=1][SIZE=1]

What to do??? I have recently seen 2 examples of Satanist rites at Aldeley Edge a Rabbit and Kitten. These sick folk hang the remains in trees!

I do NOT want to leave anything to sick science! Come on Bovine TB and Badgers>>>>> Lets look at imported immigrant spread TB. Sorry recently picked up 2 Badger carcasses. Really healthy specimns. Also picked up dead Crow...I aint got Bird Flu!

All u folk dont decide quickly, weigh up pros and cons. U can die and disappear fairly cheap. Hindus are not far wrong you know and they are Pagan!

Blessings

this might seem morbid, but the costs of funerals is rising rapidly, in some parts of the country it has reached £2000 already.

To avoid my children having to fork out large sums for my funeral I have already preplanned and paid for it.

After the Donor service has had the bits they want (if any), I am going in a biodegradable coffin to the local Woodland burial ground, with a tree planted over me.

Although cremation is cheaper than burial, it is less environmentally friendly, as it uses fossil fuels and creates pollution.

I like the idea of helping a tree grow, the birds which will nest in it and the animals and insects which will depend on it.

BB Midori

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Thinking back on cheap disposals...my youngest works in construction. He was on a site when the lads dug up what was obvious human remains. The boss wasn't interested whether they were recent or ancient, he was only interested in disruption and the cost to his company....so under concrete they a went.

As some may know I am ex Rhodesia/Zimbabwe, the once jewel of Africa...now due to corruption, mismanagement, greed etc. heading rapidly towards the abyss.

I take a daily E Letter with the news. At present the authorities are discovering around 20 infant remains a day dumped in drains. The army has started to patrol graveyards at night to stop illegal buryings (it is only a short time ago since they stopped folk planting crops on the plots). There is only 1 working ambulance in the Capital. Bodies are piled up in morgues and the crematoriums have run out of gas.
The average family cannot afford to bury their dead consequently many bodies are being left out for scavengers...this isn't even in the bush this is in scrubland surrounding built up areas.

I saw the programme recently where the mom had had her daughters ashes made into a diamond...not sure what I think about that.

Blessings all.

Enlighten me. What does Bird flu and Bovine TB have to do with donating ones body to medical science?

I'm down for organ donation because at least if they've misdiagnosed me as being dead when I'm not, I certainly will be before any burial takes place

If my organs aren't suitable then I'll be stipulating that I want my body to be stabbed - once again to check that I'm dead. I don't want to be buried or burned alive

I'm still undecided about whether I want a green burial with a few friends - a nice informal affair with the planting of a tree over my grave and just a nice wooden sign saying who I was. My family know who to get in touch with should I die before them in terms of ritual. I do not want a Christian burial and they know this, nor do I want a Wiccan thing either. I think one intonation of 'Blessed be' would have me rising from the dead to haunt everyone who participated.
I either want that or to be cremated. Get my family or friends to scatter the ashes at a place that they already know about (albeit illegally but really....open the urn, the wind catches hold and whoosh - evidence is gone).

If I were to have a gravestone, I think it'd have to have a motion sensor and some kind of sound byte on it to scare the living daylights out of anyone who walks past

Bloody hell, my typing is sloppy today.

I'm quite happy to donate by organs...however, what I'm really keen for is to be stuffed and mounted and left on my sofa in a dignified position...just to ensure that my hubby never betrays my memory by finding happiness with another woman!

Seriously...I would just like as green a burial as can be practically managed, carboard coffin and give me back to the earth.

Q

A colleague of mind has suggested to his wife that when he dies he wants to be cremated then fired out of the One O'Clock Gun at Edinburgh Castle.

Loony.

as for a living will, i dont want any medical intervention untill i am dead. Then they can do what they want. I know its hard but if they suspect i,m riddled, i wont be having exploratory surgery, i,ll hedge my bets with my gods and goddess.
If i start to loose my mind i would like to be put down, again i am aware that is my appinion, but i dont want to be a burden.

I would quite happily sign up first for on ethuanasia terminal illness and only on me.

Sorry to sound depressing.

shirl