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Guest ~Rachel~

Telling People

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Guest ~Rachel~

Not sure if this topic is in the right place, but here goes...

 

Even though I've been pagan for quite some time, I have never told my family. I live with my mum, and I now feel like I should tell her (it would just make things so much easier, and I believe she will take it well). A few friends know, but its not something I feel the need to tell everyone, unless it just happens to come up. Its not something I hide, but not something I feel the need to shout to the world about

 

How did the people you told take it? Whats the worst thats happened? Have you told family? Do you tell everyone? Or just whatever you'd like to pitch in :ph34r:

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Guest heathenhek

I mostly get "we always knew you were wierd" . Never had a bad reaction.

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Guest Minty

Hi Rachel.

 

I don't ever really remember telling my Mum and Sister, but they really don't care that much. My Sister has asked me for little 'bits' over the years (she hates thunder and lightning, so I wrote her a little rhyme to be said over a candle, things like that).

My Dad saw a book about witches on the kitchen table once and asked who was the witch then. I said me, he said how long has this been going on, I said about 5 years, he said oh that's nice and went back to watching the tv.

 

As I live with the people mentioned above I wanted them to know (Mum hates the smell of incense, so that could have been tricky and I didn't want someone to lock the back door and go to bed while I'm outside :ph34r: ).

 

 

If you feel like you need to tell your Mum and you feel that she will be ok with it, then tell her. As for other people if it's not their concern I can't see the point (unless you feel that you must ).

 

Minty. xx

Edited by araminta

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Guest Theallknowing

This gonna sound really cheesy but here goes....

 

About 9 years ago I came out as gay to my family and friends, nothing changed and those I loved and whom loved me remained the same.

 

As a Pagan I kept that belief, all my friends and family know and those who can not/did not accept then were not the people I believed them to be. (And if I'm truly honest did not have aplace in my heart for)

 

They may not agree with what I am/do but they love me and that is the point.

 

Despite us being an 'educated' and progressive world living in the 21st Century, there are still a large number of small minded bigoted, racist, homophobic ..(need I go on?)....idiots..................

 

The essence of this quote sums up what I mean...

 

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. - Voltaire

 

It will happen as it is meant to, try not to force anything and go with your gut instinct.

 

Blessed Be

 

Graeme

 

Do what thou wilt Is the whole of the Law. : Love is the Law, Love under Will

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Guest woozle

I'd say that practically nobody knows. I waited 4 years before telling my wife even.

I'm sure my mother is a pagan but as we have no dialogue anyway it would freak her out if i started getting down to 'such personal things'.

As for friends, my advice is don't bother. I've always hated people telling me about their beliefs as it is something personal to everyone and not worth the hassle. i don't know for example what any of my friends believe in. I was about to tell my best friend once but stopped short when he came out with, "...and all these weirdos waving wands and doing make believe magic like harry potter. Talk about off the track..... etc". This is a guy i have known for 25 years and i never suspected. It put my guard up even further.

But i suppose it depends on the person.

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Athena

I haven't told anybody because it's not something that I think that I need to tell or shout about. For me it is just a way of life and something very personal.

I have just recently told my o/h and he took it quite well, you could've knocked me over with a feather duster :ph34r: It didn't bother him at all.

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Guest Stormraven

In my experience people I've told are fine with it and usually want to know more as they are genuinely interested, my mother is the exception to that, she now just makes fun of my faith, but was not at all happy when she first found out.

 

One of the most extreme reactions I had was when I was introduced to an evangelical Christian friend of a friend, when she was told by the friend that I was a Heathen (Northern tradition Pagan) she did her told me that I was damned and going to burn in hell, that I should repent immediately and turn to the one true god. I just smiled sweetly and asked her which one? her Christian friends burst into laughter and she shut up.

 

Storm Raven

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Guest Stormbringer

I told my parents about 6 or 7 years ago, but they weren't surprised... they knew anyway, lol

 

I don't tend to tell people unless they ask, but most people at work know now since I've been there 7 years and they all seem to be okay with it. In fact, it surprised me how many other pagans there were, there are at least 3 others and I have an idea about 2 others who might be, in an office of 40 odd people.

 

I think the only person i told straight away when i met them was my last boyfriend, since i would be disappearing every second saturday for coven nights it was only fair he knew about it in advance and could plan around it... he never batted an eyelid and was always supportive about the pagan stuff, despite not being pagan himself.

 

I think most people are all right with it, but use your own judgement... there will always be those who don't get it or think it's somehow 'wrong' or whatever, but they are usually easy to spot.

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Guest ~Rachel~
I told my parents about 6 or 7 years ago, but they weren't surprised... they knew anyway, lol

 

226972[/snapback]

 

I think my mum has a fair idea, or I have at least given her some incline anyway.

 

It would just be so much easier if she knew, living with her and all.

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Guest SpiralShaman

My parents kinda discovered on their own what I was, way back in 94ish? They were very interested. My mother also has a spiritualist friend who has apparently told her alot about me. I'd like to know what she said, but I think it's supposed to be an off topic, something I've got to discover for myself. I keep meaning to sit down and have a chat with the good lady herself, but our paths don't seem to cross much at the moment. As for my friends, most of them are pagan. When alot of them started saying about it, we were all quite surprised to find we all were going through the same things. It may seem like peer pressure, but low and behold, 14 years later, we all hold pagan beliefs though our paths have diversified etc. I don't feel the need to say "Hi I'm spiral and I'm a pagan" when I meet people, sounds a bit too much like an alcoholics anonymous meeting..... or should that be pagans anonymous? :ph34r:

 

If people talk about beliefs I'll throw in my tuppenceworth. I have no qualms about saying what I am and what I believe if the subject comes up. I remember an evangalist telling me the devil was making me believe I was healing people, when in actual fact I was spreading an evil disease, that was about the worst reaction I got.

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Guest Snippety

I never got around to telling my mum- things were so bad between us that I ceased communication with her a couple of years ago so you can guess it probably wouldn't have gone down well. She disapproved of the changes that came with the Paganism - my getting married, increase in confidence etc. and I don't think her knowing the reason behind them would have helped. My dad ran off when I was 19 so it never came up with him either. My in laws know and are fine with it. My husband is Pagan too so it figures. Our faith has grown together and become more and more outwardly expressed; in 5 years we've gone from just reading and studying to fully celebrating festivals as a family and attended our first group celebration at Yule last year.

 

I generally tell people quite soon. It usually comes up over something like "So what are you doing for Xmas/Easter/Valentines ?" or whatever and I find it quite easy to say "Well we're a Pagan family so....." I've never had a bad reaction. I declare it on official forms when appropriate. Last year when I had my son all the midwives knew and were really accepting and brilliant, even one who was also a vicar's wife. I had a Thorshammer hanging next to my bed on the maternity ward ! :)

 

I think it's good to be honest about it if you can. If it would seriously jeopardise a relationship you hold dear I would think twice, but the you've got to wonder if the foundation of that relationship is as strong as you thought.

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Pomona

Well, I told my first husband he was quietly freaked. Didn't want me to tell anyone, wanted me to keep it to myself in case anyone found out <_<

 

When we split up it was the issue he seized on as a weapon, going to the press about my "depraved occult practises", setting up an altar in the bedroom to enable them to get a really good picture to illustrate his point, and stealing my cat because "I'd sacrifice it" <_< Oh, and putting posters up in our street and on the neighbours' cars about my being Pagan and urging them to keep their children/animals away from me :angry: :(

 

I'd been fairly open at work (the joy of working somewhere with cast iron protection for religious belief) so when the news articles came out it wasn't a huge shock. Well, the articles were, the "outing" of my beliefs wasn't. Thankfully <_<

 

A few months before the split I'd had to tell my parents as my mum wanted to know why I wouldn't go to church (I used to take my Nana because she loved going and it was her social outing of the week, but I couldn't go once she died as I'd just no right or reason to be there). She was very upset, very very upset - announced my soul was damned, that I was going to hell, and she would never see me again after she died because I'd damned myself :( :)

 

However, she made a huge gesture a few months later by buying me a little witch ornament for Yule, plus a book on "Celtic Traditions", and absolutely stinking the house out with incense :rolleyes: :lol:

 

Now it's one of those tacitly agreed "she accepts it and I don't rub her face in it" arrangements. My dad is interested, but he says himself that he is too sceptical to really go for any particular religion, though he does believe in "something".

 

Vert on the other hand was immediately interested when I told him I had been at a pagan moot one weekend. He, in his (Sad Old) Goth days had lived with a Pagan so he wasn't at all judgemental. He quite cheerfully admits that my being Pagan was one of the things that really intrigued him about me, that to him that showed an individual mind and someone who had the courage to follow their beliefs and their heart. :)

 

So I'm open about it now, all my friends know, my work knows, the neighbours have probably got a good idea, the only people who don't know are Vert's parents and his aunt. And I don't tell them out of respect - they're elderly, very CofS and would be absolutely horrified. And, given that we're both divorcees who remarried, I think they've dealt with enough :)

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Athena
Well, I told my first husband he was quietly freaked.  Didn't want me to tell anyone, wanted me to keep it to myself in case anyone found out  :)

 

When we split up it was the issue he seized on as a weapon, going to the press about my "depraved occult practises", setting up an altar in the bedroom to enable them to get a really good picture to illustrate his point, and stealing my cat because "I'd sacrifice it"  :rolleyes:    Oh, and putting posters up in our street and on the neighbours' cars about my being Pagan and urging them to keep their children/animals away from me <_<    <_<

 

226988[/snapback]

 

No offense! What nasty man!

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Pomona

None taken. He is. And I'm well rid. :)

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Guest wolverine

I was busy Crafting a Rune Wand in the backyard when my Father (who was a *big* Charmed fan ) came to the back-door & watched me with a rather puzzled look :)

 

He asked what I was doing to which I replied "I'm making a Wand" he said "you're not a charmed-One are you?" of course in the politest way possible, I told him to "Fuck Off!" :rolleyes:

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Guest ~Rachel~

Sounds horrible Pomona! Glad everythings ok now :)

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Guest Minty
I was busy Crafting a Rune Wand in the backyard when my Father (who was a *big* Charmed fan ) came to the back-door & watched me with a rather puzzled look  :)

 

He asked what I was doing to which I replied "I'm making a Wand"  he said "you're not a charmed-One are you?"  of course in the politest way possible, I told him to "Fuck Off!"  <_<

227001[/snapback]

 

And there was me thinking that you were 'charmed' in Ye Ancient Arte <_< :rolleyes:

 

Minty. xx

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fizzyclare1

no, i am very secretive about my ways although my parents probably are a bit suspicous. which is fine by me.

 

one or two friends know but thats about it. many folks here are somewhat narrow minded and I don't want that impacting on my son, who , frankly has gone through a terrific amount of stress upset and so on. (the bullying is only the tip of the iceberg really, he was witness to attempted rape at the age of 7 on a sunny afternoon, he was very brave and raised the alarm. thankfully the woman was alright but my son had to be interviewed, took an identity parade check and may have faced the prospect of going to court - which thankfully never happened because the man confessed). I think he has had enough.

 

fizz

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Guest wolverine
I was busy Crafting a Rune Wand in the backyard when my Father (who was a *big* Charmed fan ) came to the back-door & watched me with a rather puzzled look  :o_grumpy:

 

He asked what I was doing to which I replied "I'm making a Wand"  he said "you're not a charmed-One are you?"  of course in the politest way possible, I told him to "Fuck Off!"  :)

227001[/snapback]

 

And there was me thinking that you were 'charmed' in Ye Ancient Arte ;) :lol:

 

Minty. xx

227007[/snapback]

 

 

Me, of Ye Ancient Arte :o ? you have got to be Joe King :o

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Moonhunter

My mother would never have coped. :o_grumpy:

 

I told my father, in the times after my mother died, that I spent more time with him. To my amazement he told took it in his stride. Apparently his grandmother had been the local Romany witchwife, handing our herbal remedies and staring into Ye Old Crystal Ball and all that, while he was kicked out into the garden and told not to darken the house while the client was there. She terrified him. :o

 

His grandfather was almost as bad, being a countryman who boxed his ears if he couldn't recognise animal trails and trees. :lol:

 

I wouldn't tell many people from my past, as they were fundamentalist Christians. No point inviting censure. Thankfully, I met the OH in pagan circles, so there's no problem there. :o

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Shakalah

For the first 2 or 3 years after becoming a witch I kept it all hidden from my wife and some of my children, from my wife , well told her I was going to a moot, her reply was wouldn't I prefer going to one of my concerts, so kept her out of the loop, and my youngest son thought being a witch was evil. Now my other son and one of my daughter knew I was a witch and my daughter in law(bless her) was very supportive. Then 5 years ago I had a breakdown and everything came out about me being a witch, and my wife, my sisters and brother did all they could to change my mind, even offered to burn my staff, which I wouldn't allow them to do, also wanted me to stop wearing my pentagram, which I figured as I was outed I was going to wear it. Having said all that over the last 5 years things have changed considerably, my wife's attitudes have changed, she has been into witchy shops with me when I wanted to buy crystals, isn't bothered about me buying books on magick, and as been with me when I have done so. Also lots of my books are just lying around the house, and I read them in front of her, and nothing is said, was my wife who pointed out a Reiki course to me, could have knocked me over with a feather, and then once I was attuned asked for a treatment

My wife also is happy with all my crystals and pyramids all round the house even though she doesn't understand them. So to an extent I kick myself for nor being open from the start, would have saved a lot of upset, but now although no one mentions the W word or me being a pagan her indoors is the first to point out any pagan related tv, or articles in the papers. Finally then acceptance, so me if I had to do it again I would be open from the start, because despite everything I am accepted by my family :o_grumpy:

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Freebird

Most of my family know that I'm not C of E any more, but it's not an everyday topic of conversation. My parents are nominal Christian but my mother always has tokens with her; a bit of jet for luck, a quartz angel, etc. My ex was ok with it, but never fully accepted it. The kids have been great, especially the youngest who frequently refers to me as "the old pagan in the corner" :lol:

It's a similar story at work and with friends; a select few know, some probably suspect but most have no idea as it's not an everyday conversation. Like most people, I don't hide what I am but I don't broadcast it either.

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Guest Quasizoid

Coming from a marriage of well travelled pragmatists and berserkers, Christian dogma just didn't apply to our family, rather, we were always inclined to regard it as alot of self-defeating humbug. Given that considerable psychic ability also runs in the family, the only beliefs we ever found compatable were animist. Of course if anyone tries to make a stink about it, we are not known to take prisoners. :lol:

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Guest Wulfric

None of my family know and that's the way I like it. Mum's an ardent evangelical Christian of the happy-clappy American style and dad's an atheist who thinks all religious people are nuts and irrational.

 

So it's not really worth saying anything. Anyway it's my own private business and no one elses and I don't go around advertising it.

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Guest HippyChick

Most people who know me know I am pagan and only one person reacted badly but then she also though that I was going to hell as I home educate my kids lol.

Most people find out when they ask what I am doing for Christmas/easter/e.c.t and I tell them I do not celebrate them as I am not Christian so would find it hypocritical to celebrate something I do not believe in.

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Guest Fillionous

Varations on this subject come up not infrequently here - a well directed search may turn up more view points.

 

As for myself, like many here I don't broad cast it, but niether do I got to any great lenghts to hide what I believe - it mostly just does not come up as a topic of convasation.

 

As for nearest and dearest - My Gentleman has little use for religion of any strip, but if pushed would probably guess that I am either Pagan or Humanist but have little idea what that means, and not want to know either. My Mum has strong Christian beliefs, she knows I am not Christian, but only has a vague idea of what I might be, probably has guessed but does not want to go there and admit it. Ultimatly she would love to see me return to the fold. Dad is oblivious and unless I went up to him and said 'I AM A WITCH' he would not know or care... and if I did I know he would still be mostly oblivious - because I have!

After that, various friends know - but most are various flavours of Pagans themselves.

 

About the worst reaction I have had - apart from the 'your going to hell' and ' let me pray for you to find Jesus' etc is the general appathy to all faith and a general belief that is is shades of fluffy bunny / make belive and an over active imagination that leads me on a pagan path.

 

Be bright, be bold

Fillionous

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fizzyclare1

oooh, I've had the 'i will pray for you' and how sad/lonely...'

 

really gets my back up. I neither want this or need it.

 

fizz

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hedgerose

I told my late mum not long after I became formally pagan, ie began training, and she was ok with it, if a bit concerned, but I do remember reading her cards for her once. My dad knows I'm not christian (he's a lay preacher and church elder) and has probably figured out what I am from the books and statuettes and stuff about the place. We've never really discussed it though, coming out to him as bi was bad enough, I was 40 then, and got all the "You know that goes against everything I believe in," and "I called an elders emergency meeting to pray for you," so its best just left there. Brothers and sisters all know, and have counted me as mad for years anyway, so were not fazed by it. My kids know, and the eldest are quietly supportive, the middle two think i should repent, and my baby is following in her mum's footsteps. My friends now are mostly pagan, and any friends who were hostile ceased to be friends shortly after in the past.

 

Mostly, I'm just me, take it or leave it. I don't broadcast it, but I don't hide it either.

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Guest Gryphon
I told my late mum not long after I became formally pagan, ie began training, and she was ok with it, if a bit concerned, but I do remember reading her cards for her once. My dad knows I'm not christian (he's a lay preacher and church elder) and has probably figured out what I am from the books and statuettes and stuff about the place. We've never really discussed it though, coming out to him as bi was bad enough, I was 40 then, and got all the "You know that goes against everything I believe in," and "I called an elders emergency meeting to pray for you," so its best just left there. Brothers and sisters all know, and have counted me as mad for years anyway, so were not fazed by it. My kids know, and the eldest are quietly supportive, the middle two think i should repent, and my baby is following in her mum's footsteps. My friends now are mostly pagan, and any friends who were hostile ceased to be friends shortly after in the past.

 

Mostly, I'm just me, take it or leave it. I don't broadcast it, but I don't hide it either.

227227[/snapback]

 

 

My parents know something strange going on but they don't know what. They realise i'm into stuff and that I collect crystals, burn incense and meditate. But they aren't certain what. Guess out of sight out of mind to a degree as well as hoping its a rebelious phase (ha).

 

One of my brothers hates the fact that i'm into these things and really doesn't associate with me. If he can be obstructive and rude he will be. He's even stolen some of my crystals in the past, just before I left to return. The aim was to prevent me finding it or realising that it was gone until it was too late. Lucky me being able to track her down. Unless there is brekfast in bed involved or presents. The other is mildly interested (he likes crystals after seeing mine, and who wouldn't, they are gorgeous ;) ).

 

The rest, less immediate family, if they knew they'd consider me well on my way to hell.

 

Friends wise as well as work, I don't mention it, if someone asks I evade the question or I admit that I have Buddhist inclinations (which I do).

 

As secretitive as I can be.

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Ethereal

If people ask and arent taking the piss I will answer their questions (where I can). My immediate family an my mates all know, mum had concerns and questions but all was ok once she realised the media was mostly wrong.

 

My OH thank the Gods is same inclination which makes life easier! :)

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