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Help Teach Me? - unsure where to start


Guest Muireann
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Hello, I am new to paganism and have no idea where to start.

 

I now I should be reading books about it, but I am totally dependant on my husband financially, so getting the books without his knowledge is impossible, he is a strict Catholic.

Basically, where should i start, what should I research first, just the basics first then I can move on to more when ready.

 

Any suggestions? any help will be appreciated, I am willing to learn from anyone, no matter how little info given, thanks in advance :lol:

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Well if you can't be honest first and foremost with your significant other, I for one won't say a word.

 

If you're being led on a different path from your husband, you need to talk to him first. If he's adamant about it, other steps need to be taken, as in getting independent if you must. You can't hide being pagan, and I for one feel it can't be learned from a book - you're either called to it or you aren't. Besides, it shouldn't be something you NEED to hide. I doubt anyone will want to help you in this regard as I doubt anyone here needs to have your husband coming here ranting at us for turning you into a Satan-worshipper - which is probably what will happen. Afraid I'm coming across a bit brusque but I can't think of a nice way to put it.

 

So, honesty first.

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Well if you can't be honest first and foremost with your significant other, I for one won't say a word. 

 

If you're being led on a different path from your husband, you need to talk to him first.  If he's adamant about it, other steps need to be taken, as in getting independent if you must.  You can't hide being pagan, and I for one feel it can't be learned from a book - you're either called to it or you aren't.  Besides, it shouldn't be something you NEED to hide.  I doubt anyone will want to help you in this regard as I doubt anyone here needs to have your husband coming here ranting at us for turning you into a Satan-worshipper - which is probably what will happen.  Afraid I'm coming across a bit brusque but I can't think of a nice way to put it.

 

So, honesty first.

Thanks for the concern, but he can't come rave at you, he doesn't know any of my passwords.

I understand what your saying about the honesty, and I will come clean eventually, just not ready yet. :D

 

Thanks to the people who PM'd me too, the help was appreciated. :D

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Honesty is good, but balance that with the fact that Paganism is a personal experience.

 

It's surprising how little information is available on the Internet regarding Paganism. There is still loads of secrecy, and in a lot of ways that's no different to what you'd find in books even if you could get hold of them.

 

People seem keen to pass on some information, but not too much!

 

I found this frustrating initially, but I quickly realised that books or the Net will not give you all you need, as this Paganism thing is a journey of self-discovery.

 

But because of those frustrations, I did put together a website regarding my areas of interest (Arthurian legends). Avalyn, you're welcome to have a browse around Celticwolf any time.

 

Best wishes on your quest.

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How you choose to handle things with your husband is your affair Avalyn, although it would be better if you felt you could talk to him about it. One of the first things I found when I realised I was Pagan was that, most annoyingly, everything comes from within you. There is no course you can take, no book you can read that can teach you how to do it. So, read everything, talk to everyone and use that which appeals to you is the best advice I can give. No one knows better than you how you should practice. I know that's not helpful, but it's true. Good luck.

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My response is along the same lines as Esk's to be honest, so sorry if I sound like I'm just repeating stuff.

Have you checked out your library? Even if it's a small one and they have nothing of interest, they can probably order things for you.

The internet is a wonderful thing with a lot of stuff that can help you and a lot of stuff that's just crap, but if you read and look into as much as you can, you'll learn yourself how to distinguish between the two. This site's great and you'd be able to learn a lot here.

There probably aren't two people here with exactly the same beliefs on all things pagan, so no one can tell you what you should be doing or thinking, but the fact that you're on here and wanting to learn about it is a good start for whatever path you decide to follow.

 

It's a shame that you can't tell your husband about this, but ironically, you may well find that paganism gives you the strength to do just that. Whether it does or not, good luck anyway! :)

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Avalyn, I agree with Esk.

 

Now, as for reading books, a fantastic place to start is...your local library. Read mythology from around the world. That's the best place to familiarize yourself with Deities that you might not be all that familiar with. You can also read classical texts such as the Mabinogion, the Kalevela, the Mahabharata, etc. You can also find texts online at the Sacred Text Archive.

 

You might want to consider starting a journal. If you're scared your husband might find it, try an online journal which you can make private or public. You can start one at the following locations, to name a few:

 

Blogger

 

LiveJournal

 

Diaryland

 

Typepad - not free

 

Above all, enjoy the journey!

 

:o_dance:

 

Dryad

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Something else you might want to think about when you're at the library, in addition to the mythology books, are books about ancient history, ancient civilisations, stuff about the flora, fauna and landscape around you, stuff about the uses of plants and so on (books like Culpepper's Herbal have the magickal as well as practical uses of herbs). All excellent sources, in my view, for expanding your mind and getting you to think about WHY you're pagan, rather than something telling you how to be one. And, nothing really there to excite a lot of interest from someone who may be less than sympathetic to your burgeoning beliefs!

 

Good luck!

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Again..sorry to reiterate what's already been said:

 

Reasearch via books and the net is one of your most valuable tools and essential in increasing your knowledge of all things Pagan.

 

As your personal research progresses you will find a variety of approaches to Pagan belief, very few of which clash in any major way but wideranging in their recommendations to personal approach and chosen "path".

 

You will obviously need a basic level of knowledge and this will be used to develop your own very personal approach to Pagan belief but you will find as has been stated by others that the main driving force will come from within yourself.

 

Use the research as a tool to gain knowledge and to find the Pagan way that best suites your needs, personality and up to a point, circumstances.

 

....and then of course there are places such as The Valley where you will encounter a wide variety of views and a mass of information by simply reading through the threads in the various Forums.

 

As far as your hubby is concerned; it is entirely your decision with regard to when and how to tell him of your chosen path as you are the one in the best position to make that judgement. Remember; we are not evagelists and if we feel that our belief can remain a private and personal thing without compromising that belief then that is a perfectly legitimate course to take.

 

Enjoy the road that you've started along.

Edited by Dave
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Thanks Dave :lol:

 

My first attempt at bringing up subject with hubby didn't go well, my fault, I didn't plan properly and since I'm not really ready I didn't put a lot of effort in, basically we were going to bed:

Me: what would you do if I decided I was a pagan

 

No response

 

Me: so you have no opinion on it?

 

Him: I'm trying to sleep! :o_grouphug:

I'll try again when I am more confident about it :lol:

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Blessings.

Living with a spouse that does not share your path is a difficult one, I belive all here would agree to that..

Honesty is best, i agree, but with a bit of disagreement..unless it is harmful for you to be so.

Im thinking you can get help and teachings here at UK pagan, by asking people directly to help. On the internet there are many ways to research Pagan/Wicca/Witch information.

You can use any search engine and find loads of ways to do so.

On a personel note, you can contact me at my email address, and we can discuss it further, if you wish.

Good luck, and keep trying!

Love, LadyP

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I wish you much luck with coming out of the broom closest with your husband.

 

Personally I find Scott Cunningham a good author for anyone in any stage of the craft. :lol:

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  • 4 months later...

[ You can also find texts online at the Sacred Text Archive.

 

Thanks for the link Dryad - looks like an interesting site.

 

I'm afraid I'm one of these people that needs to intellectualise stuff as well as just feel it (sort of a Head / Heart balance thing I guess.....), but the problem is there's loads of stuff here! Anyone able to recommend a sensible all-round intro? I've got a copy of the Frazer's "The Golden Bough" somewhere - I'll have to dig it out - but I found the first couple of chapters rather dry. Is it worth persevering with?

 

S

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I agree with everyone here that the net can be a good place to look...also you can post questions on here, one thing I found extremely helpful when it came to deciding what I believed in was meditation, there is a topic on here about starting off with meditation...i found it helped me a great deal, also as regards to your husband, maybe if you put it into some other words...sometimes people are scared of the term 'pagan' because they dont understand it, maybe if you try something like Im starting to become interested in ...meditation etc he may take it a lil better...no one can tell you what to do, you know him best, just a little advice :o_devil:

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  • 2 weeks later...

If people have you intimidated, or boxed in, so that you may not speak your mind, or follow you conscience to learn or speak as you wish, then you do not owe them anything, in my humble view.

 

 

There is much knowledge in books, but not as much as there is in you. Start at the beginning... ask one question that you wish to know. I have been asking for a long time now, and I still have not found any question that did not prompt yet another... yet at first i had a bazillion questions, and now each question seems to narrow the field to fewer and fewer......

 

 

Peace,

Xia.

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