Jump to content
Talbot Michaels

Welcome Guest!

Welcome to UK Pagan; The Valley

Like most online communities we require you to register for an account before we give you access to read and post.

Only a small number of our forum areas can be read without registering for an account.

Please consider supporting us to help keep our Website and Facebook groups online. Become a Patron!

Rites Of Passage


Guest morbidia
 Share

Recommended Posts

as i am a lady of a certain age and will be approaching the dreaded menopause probably in the not too distant future i was wondering if there is a rite of passage or some sort of ceremony for this time in a womans life,im trying to look on it in a positve way and would like to mark the occasion in some way,does anyone have any ideas that i can mull over,i know it will be best if anything i decided to do comes from me but i would like a nudge in the right direction if possible,thanks in advance for any suggestions :o_bounce3:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Please consider supporting us to help keep our Website and Facebook groups online.

One of the problems you may have is with timing. :lol:

 

You see, from discussions with others, unless you have a hysterectomy, the pre-menopausal stage can last for years. Mine began around 2001 and I still haven't entered the menopause. I'm beginning to think it's mythical. :rolleyes:

 

To address your question, though, some women have 'croning' ceremonies. Some pick it by age. Fifty seems common, for some reason. For some women that's because it's the Cheiron return (astrology). Maybe everyone's supposed to have reached the menopause by then. If so, anyone in their forties planning for it may have a surprise! Perhaps modern diet and healthier living means that in this, as in everything else, the old ideas of age simply don't apply.

 

Anyway, if you Google you'll probably find any number of 'croning' ceremonies out there, or different types. Your start point is probably working out what you're looking to do in a rite of passage. Do you wish to celebrate or to mourn? Or both? that might help you find something that suits you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with Elswyth :rolleyes:

 

There is a book by Dorothy Morrison titled In praise of the crone, I haven`t read it so cant recommend it personally.. its probably time i did though :lol:

 

winterwitch x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There are four common components to rites of passage that are generally accepted by the academic community :

 

1.Letting go of an old identity

2. The wandering

3. The new identity

4. Anchoring

 

If you can work out something that incorporates these four then you should have something personalised and that fulfils the psychological functions of a rite of passage. Just bear in mind that rites of passage in traditional cultures are rarely easy. Some include lots of pain or scary things.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Morbidia. Well, don't really think that I can advise on the content of the ritual - coming from someone who is not at that stage of my life or been through that passage it wouldn't be particularly clever of me ;)

 

However, I notice you're in the South West. How far are you from Cardiff? There's a site there: Tinkinswood, that is a very old woman indeed and she would welcome you. I suggest a full moon and a trial run beforehand so you know where you're going. Walk out there by yourself and you'll see the moon come right up between her legs lol. Sit on top of the cap stone and just spend some time with her. I've had a number of profound experiences there and I know instinctively she'd be a good place to go. Though wrap up warm if you go in winter. When you're finished there, when you've had the thoughts you needed to have and you've talked with her long enough, go down inside her and there's a small hole on the back right you can crawl through - like a little re-birthing <_< May need to paddle to get there, sometimes she's watery lol

 

Rites of passage often have two parts: the lone part, in which you need time and space alone to consider the change and to make the change, and also the group: the community and the people who have been there before you. If you have close friends or family who have been through that transition, that's a good time to get together for a meal and a laugh - listen to their experiences. Let them support you through yours.

 

The problem with this transition is that culture as a whole is changing. There are three facades that need reconciling in my mind’s eye, different ways of looking at elder women in society:

 

1. As an elder, as someone wiser and life experienced. Something recognised in Pagan society and in ancient cultures perhaps, but not valued in wider society.

 

2. The Victorian 'out to pasture' attitude towards women passed child bearing age. The overall attitude to women that stifled the holistic view of life experienced wise women. You have to reconcile your place in society with society's view of you - you have to have a strong answer to both. To know where you stand; where you're rooted.

 

3. The modern-age view of women working and being entrepreneurial and socially active well into their old age - far beyond the expectations of women in times gone by: that you can be healthy, active, income-generating and independent for a long, long time. An active elder in a way women haven't been before, or in cultural memory. A new freedom.

 

So three areas to think about perhaps. I know the Brahma Kumaris offer rites of passage workshops and workshops focusing on the role of women throughout their lives. Perhaps worth asking your local centre if they do anything - it's run by women so they might be good to just talk to.

 

Let us know how it goes, perhaps your experiences and what you decide to do will be useful to others wondering the same questions.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why deviate from modern tradition? What is wrong with getting a tattoo?? :D

271354[/snapback]

my girls have been trying to tlak me into getting a tattoo for ages,but i dont like pain so im not giving in :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

One of the problems you may have is with timing.  :D

 

You see, from discussions with others, unless you have a hysterectomy, the pre-menopausal stage can last for years. Mine began around 2001 and I still haven't entered the menopause. I'm beginning to think it's mythical.  :D

 

To address your question, though, some women have 'croning' ceremonies. Some pick it by age. Fifty seems common, for some reason. For some women that's because it's the Cheiron return (astrology). Maybe everyone's supposed to have reached the menopause by then. If so, anyone in their forties planning for it may have a surprise! Perhaps modern diet and healthier living means that in this, as in everything else, the old ideas of age simply don't apply.

 

Anyway, if you Google you'll probably find any number of 'croning' ceremonies out there, or different types. Your start point is probably working out what you're looking to do in a rite of passage. Do you wish to celebrate or to mourn? Or both? that might help you find something that suits you.

271361[/snapback]

 

hmm yes i agree i might be being a bit premature,but i do like to plan ahead :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Morbidia. Well, don't really think that I can advise on the content of the ritual - coming from someone who is not at that stage of my life or been through that passage it wouldn't be particularly clever of me :)

 

However, I notice you're in the South West. How far are you from Cardiff? There's a site there: Tinkinswood, that is a very old woman indeed and she would welcome you. I suggest a full moon and a trial run beforehand so you know where you're going. Walk out there by yourself and you'll see the moon come right up between her legs lol. Sit on top of the cap stone and just spend some time with her. I've had a number of profound experiences there and I know instinctively she'd be a good place to go. Though wrap up warm if you go in winter. When you're finished there, when you've had the thoughts you needed to have and you've talked with her long enough, go down inside her and there's a small hole on the back right you can crawl through - like a little re-birthing :D May need to paddle to get there, sometimes she's watery lol

 

Rites of passage often have two parts: the lone part, in which you need time and space alone to consider the change and to make the change, and also the group: the community and the people who have been there before you. If you have close friends or family who have been through that transition, that's a good time to get together for a meal and a laugh - listen to their experiences. Let them support you through yours.

 

The problem with this transition is that culture as a whole is changing. There are three facades that need reconciling in my mind’s eye, different ways of looking at elder women in society:

 

1. As an elder, as someone wiser and life experienced. Something recognised in Pagan society and in ancient cultures perhaps, but not valued in wider society.

 

2. The Victorian 'out to pasture' attitude towards women passed child bearing age. The overall attitude to women that stifled the holistic view of life experienced wise women. You have to reconcile your place in society with society's view of you - you have to have a strong answer to both. To know where you stand; where you're rooted.

 

3. The modern-age view of women working and being entrepreneurial and socially active well into their old age - far beyond the expectations of women in times gone by: that you can be healthy, active, income-generating and independent for a long, long time. An active elder in a way women haven't been before, or in cultural memory. A new freedom.

 

So three areas to think about perhaps. I know the Brahma Kumaris offer rites of passage workshops and workshops focusing on the role of women throughout their lives. Perhaps worth asking your local centre if they do anything - it's run by women so they might be good to just talk to.

 

Let us know how it goes, perhaps your experiences and what you decide to do will be useful to others wondering the same questions.

271445[/snapback]

 

 

thanks for these suggestions,im in Devon so i would have to get someone to take me to Cardiff,i do like the sound of the place you have mentioned though, you've given me lots to think about as well and as Moon hunter has pointed out i might have a while to wait ,but theres nothing like being prepared :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why deviate from modern tradition? What is wrong with getting a tattoo?? :D

271354[/snapback]

my girls have been trying to tlak me into getting a tattoo for ages,but i dont like pain so im not giving in :)

271753[/snapback]

You could try getting a toy-boy instead :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My rite of passage consisted of racing along to the GP and demanding HRT. Worked a treat! :rolleyes:

271797[/snapback]

 

 

:lol: would love to but im not allowed HRT for health reasons,its going to be a bit of a bummer when the time comes,i will have to go the herbal route :lol:

Edited by morbidia
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Why deviate from modern tradition? What is wrong with getting a tattoo?? :lol:

271354[/snapback]

my girls have been trying to tlak me into getting a tattoo for ages,but i dont like pain so im not giving in :lol:

271753[/snapback]

You could try getting a toy-boy instead :lol:

271773[/snapback]

 

hmmm,thats a good idea :rolleyes:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 weeks later...

I began the menopause at the age of 32 after I'd had an emergency hysterectomy. No-one would believe me at first, until I spoke to my Mum and told her exactly what I was feeling and experiencing, then she sent me to the doctors with a note *shame* telling him that I wasn't nuts, I really was having an early menopause! Yea, Gods, I love that woman but she drove me doolally at times! When I was refused hrt, I went to the health shop and bought some liquorice root. I dissolved it in warm water and drank it each time I felt ratty. I soon added evening primrose oil to the mix and I also found that massaging the tummy with evening primrose oil made me feel a hell of a lot calmer, for some reason. I wasn't told to do that, it seemed to be instinctual, but I noticed it got rid of some nasty stretch marks, too! As for a rite of passage..a solitary sunrise, followed by some relaxation and quiet reflection on your lifes acheivements, a warm sensual bath with your favourite bubbles, then a night on the town with your best girls, celebrating the re-birth of the warm and sensual woman that you are. There is no need for us to be a withered crone, hell, I intend to be as outrageous as I can for as long as I can! Not because being an older woman scares me, it doesn't, but I believe we can live, laugh, look beautiful and have fun FOR AS LONG AS WE CHOOSE! LET'S GO GIRLS!! PAAAAARRRTY!!! :( ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I began the menopause at the age of 32 after I'd had an emergency hysterectomy. No-one would believe me at first, until I spoke to my Mum and told her exactly what I was feeling and experiencing, then she sent me to the doctors with a note *shame* telling him that I wasn't nuts, I really was having an early menopause! Yea, Gods, I love that woman but she drove me doolally at times! When I was refused hrt, I went to the health shop and bought some liquorice root. I dissolved it in warm water and drank it each time I felt ratty. I soon added evening primrose oil to the mix and I also found that massaging the tummy with evening primrose oil made me feel a hell of a lot calmer, for some reason. I wasn't told to do that, it seemed to be instinctual, but I noticed it got rid of some nasty stretch marks, too! As for a rite of passage..a solitary sunrise, followed by some relaxation and quiet reflection on your lifes acheivements, a warm sensual bath with your favourite bubbles, then a night on the town with your best girls, celebrating the re-birth of the warm and sensual woman that you are. There is no need for us to be a withered crone, hell, I intend to be as outrageous as I can for as long as I can! Not because being an older woman scares me, it doesn't, but I believe we can live, laugh, look beautiful and have fun FOR AS LONG AS WE CHOOSE! LET'S GO GIRLS!! PAAAAARRRTY!!! :D  :D

276266[/snapback]

 

i will raise a glass to that

:)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share

  • Topics

  • Posts

    • Nettle
      I have only ever been a Christian on paper lol. When visiting hospitals I would give the CofE answer when asked about my beliefs. I didn‚Äôt really even know what it meant. As a child I often prayed to God. But could probably count on two hands the amount of times I have attended church. Obviously at school I sang hymns¬†and recited the Lord‚Äôs Prayer. But I never went deep into it. My family is not religious. I have never been deeply influenced by Christianity. I have always been spiritual though. The weirdest thing is when I started on this journey it actually allowed me to gain deeper understanding of the Christ spirit. For many years I sought a shamanic technique¬†called the ‚Äúfierce eye‚Ä̬†technique. This technique as I believed at the time would allow me to command any spirit. I could banish them or destroy them at a glance. My long search for this technique allowed me to find and connect with many interesting things but never allowed me to unravel¬†the mysteries of the fierce eye technique. One day I had vision. In the vision - between the two doors - I saw a man standing at the corner of a street near to where I live. It was daytime but there was nothing else around. Nothing moved. It was as if every living thing was¬†asleep. I approached the man who as I was drawing closer turned to regard my approach. What I saw blew my mind away. The love I felt emanating from this strangers eyes was so powerful, so all consuming, utterly accepting¬†that I fell to my knees and started weeping with happiness. The love was so unconditional, so total and all encompassing. It took my breath away. I eventually awakened from this vision thinking what the hell was that all about? I did not realise until later that I had been shown the ‚Äúfierce eye‚ÄĚ technique. I had been mistaken in my assumptions as to what the ‚Äúfierce eye‚Ä̬†technique was all about. It was not about destroying something,¬†Commanding something¬†or even banishing something. It‚Äôs power lies in acceptance. I later realised that the being I had seen in my vision was the Christ spirit. The Christ spirit is also a Great Fool.¬† Who would have believed it,¬†that I would find¬†Christ following a pagan path lol. The irony was fitting. And made me realise just how limited I had allowed myself to be. The few times I have gone to church recently since this experience¬†(my son used to attend a CofE school) I feel very happy. Overjoyed even. A little mischievous.¬†I know I am welcome there even though I do not take up the mantle of Christian. I feel at home, accepted, even though I am a pagan. I feel very¬†welcome within the church.
    • Nettle
      I have several. Stone rabbit is one of my guides. He is a stone around the size of a medium sized hand, that is in the shape of a rabbits head (in profile) that I found many years ago and kept. On one side he has a mark that looks like an open eye, on the other side it looks as if he has lost that eye. Stone rabbit is master at navigating mazes/webways. When I want him to see something within the mundane I turn his head so his eye can observe. If I am going on a journey I have his lost eye side observing. He comes on my walks with me and I carry him in a bag around my neck.
    • Roundtuit
      Thank you.  Yes, I'm starting to think it's the journey that matters.   What a gorgeous image!  I'd love to get back to the fells, there's something new around very corner there.    
    • Stonehugger
      I've had varying degrees and natures of commitment to Christianity since I was at school but I've also always had pagan leanings and for quite a long time now my path has been entirely pagan. It's unproblematic in that my family and friends think it's harmless eccentricity, but I imagine it would be different if I took a strongly pagan stance on something. For me personally it's important to listen to what's going on around me and work out my path accordingly, so I celebrate the presence of many paths up the same mountain and have no concerns about reaching the top. I imagine that, like almost any walk in the fells, what currently looks like the top is just another place to see the next top from. Definitely!! ūüėĀ
    • Ellinas
      Well, I've been called many things in my time... I'm also a former Christian, with a chequered history (Anglican, in the guise of the Church in Wales, then Plymouth Brethren with the odd foray into the Baptists along the way).  I fell out with Christianity in the early 2000's, when I was late 30's, early 40's. Since then, the general nature of my meanderings has remained fairly constant, but the details and contents have changed over time.  That's fine.  The journey is the issue, not the destination.  Ithaca calls, but Phoenician markets and Egyptian cities have the greater import (poetic reference - just means follow your path and hope to arrive late, if at all).  What I believe tomorrow may be very different to what I believe today.  What I believed yesterday is just a stepping stone. In short, don't worry about what you have been, as it is merely the pathway that got you to what you are, and don't worry about where you are going, there are any number of bye-ways for you to explore. As to others - I have struggled with family pressures and the tyranny of monotheistic faith.  I understand your position and have no issue with a softly-softly approach such as you describe.  In fact, it is the best way unless you are prepared to create and weather a family rift. Dangerous statement.  Talk about tempting fate...!
×
×
  • Create New...