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Going Crazy...? - views needed!


Guest Raidho
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Hey, this is such a great site and everyone is so lovely so I thought i'd just spill my heart out and ask what people think of this...!

 

Basically I don't have a path and I haven't been a pagan for long (about a year). I gave up searching for anything and now just enjoy being with nature and just loving it for what it is- i don't believe in any shape or form of god and prefer just to worship and appreciate nature just as a whole. When Im out in nature I get this weird feeling and I was out walking with my boyfriend in Avebury stones the other day and had it at its height...it just feels like this wierd energy bubbling through me and I can feel it almost running through my veins sort of thing. I dont know if its just pure awe of nature but it feels almost like a glow inside of me...(sorry if im not explaining this very well but its so hard!)

 

I was wondering whether most people feel this (and its definatly what led me into paganism) or if its just me getting over excited about nature and the history of everything around me. I'm not a wiccan and I don't do any rituals or anything- my paganism is purely just appreciation I guess although I am open to all other beliefs around me.

 

It kinda feels like I should be DOING something, rather than just being passive.

 

Well...I guess even if i am just imagining it, my boyfriend certainly got a lot of amusement out of me running from rock to rock to feel their energies and telling him over and over that 'can't you HEAR THEM?' in rather excited terms.

 

I just love it and it all around me and i want to DO something, i feel I should be doing something- like my path is calling me but i dont know how to follow it. it feels like i should be doing something.

 

any advice/comments?

 

Thanks!!

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Nope, that's cool.

 

Oddly enough, my advice is "Sit quietly".

 

The bubbling over feeling is great. From my own experience, it's an essential part of contacting the "other" web - the life web. Unless you can harness this bubbling over, and conjure it up as necessary, it is much more difficult to manage and to sustain a contact. So, sit quietly and examine this sensation and make sure you can recreate it, despite any external influences pro or contra.

 

Buddhist Meditation is essentially closing your atention to all external stimuli and attending to the inner self. Buddhists caution against paying attention to external stimuli while meditating, as this will put you in contact with Maya, the world of illusion.

 

The Pagan (and, if I have it right, Tantric) way of meditating, is to sit quietly and extend your senses as far as you can. Look, listen, smell... After a few minutes you will be aware in ways that most people do not know.

 

Good luck!

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You're certainly NOT crazy, and I completely sympathise with your desire to have your status "identified" (for want of a better description!). I had a VERY similar experience to you whilst dozing under a yew tree next to Waverley Abbey Ruins. It was very weird and actually a bit unsettling for me - I didn't tell anyone except my wife for a long time and then during a conversation with a healer revealed my experience. She thought that I may have experienced a "partial regression". Possibly a spiritual route to a memory from a previous life - or at least I think this is how she interpreted it. I'm not sure. And, like you, also not sure of how to find out more. I think I'll take Fred's advice and have a stab at tantric meditation! Wish me luck!

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I think I'll take Fred's advice and have a stab at tantric meditation! Wish me luck!

348314[/snapback]

 

Just a note, Fred is indeed correct that Tantric meditation involves awareness meditation but while Tantra is something that should only be attempted by experienced practitioners with a face-to-face teacher, awareness meditation is a basic Buddhist practice and can be done by anyone. The Zen tradition has the richest vein of teachings on living in the moment, awareness and just being and there are many good introductions to the practice in books or on the net (personal plug - I wrote one just recently on the OBOD forum).

 

If you are interested in energy then I would recommend dowsing as a way of furthering your explorations. Pendulums and rods are both easily constructed or bought if you don't feel confident enough and will provide hours of interest and a good grounding in working with energy.

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I think passivity is very much underestimated in the modern Pagan communities. There's a lot to be said for waiting around quietly to see what taps you on your shoulder and where you might be led.

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I think passivity is very much underestimated in the modern Pagan communities. There's a lot to be said for waiting around quietly to see what taps you on your shoulder and where you might be led.

348363[/snapback]

 

 

I agree with this & it made me completely re-write then delete my response. So here's a badly phrased attempt to make sense.

 

Your user name to me seems very apt. My advice is always "go to the forest and shut up and listen" - often we spend too long thinking about things and planning our journey - the important part is journeying, not the planning. Just walk through forest and try to keep quiet & listen. Eventually something will find you - but in its own time, not yours.

 

Good luck!

Marcus

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Your user name to me seems very apt. My advice is always "go to the forest and shut up and listen" - often we spend too long thinking about things and planning our journey - the important part is journeying, not the planning. Just walk through forest and try to keep quiet & listen. Eventually something will find you - but in its own time, not yours.

 

I attribute most of my Heathenry to what I learned and came across up on the moors as a child. Walking the land, getting to know it and just seeing what there is is an important thing IMO. Too many sit on their bottoms rather than get out there and experience.

 

And that's another thing, you mentioned that something will find you but in its own time. So often people want spiritual things to happen on their own timetable but things don't work like that. There is no 'get witch quick' or instant enlightenment and if there is, it's usually worthless.

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Basically I don't have a path and I haven't been a pagan for long (about a year). I gave up searching for anything and now just enjoy being with nature and just loving it for what it is- i don't believe in any shape or form of god and prefer just to worship and appreciate nature just as a whole.

 

IMHO, I think you found your Path. Enjoy it !

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Hey Raidho

 

Sounds like you're "doing" everything you need to. Be yourself, go for walks, find what you like, explore your own feelings and beliefs. Look at nature, and find where you fit in. Think about experiences like that one you describe at Avebury. Go back and see if you find it the same - if so, explore that further.

 

Do things your own way, just go with the flow - there's nothing you 'should' or 'shouldn't' be doing. Do what you want to do =)

 

Good luck!

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Bloody hell Raidho. It took me a few years to get where you have in one! Sounds like you've got it sussed. There are many Pagans who follow the sort of path you are on, for goodness sake don't feel pressurised to change it if you do not feel the need. Paganism can be about being rather than doing.

 

Mike

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It sounds to me that someone or something is poking you going "oi, oi, oi, oi!" Now that they've got your attention I think you should do what others have said, shut up and listen.

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I think passivity is very much underestimated in the modern Pagan communities. There's a lot to be said for waiting around quietly to see what taps you on your shoulder and where you might be led.

348363[/snapback]

Your user name to me seems very apt. My advice is always "go to the forest and shut up and listen" - often we spend too long thinking about things and planning our journey - the important part is journeying, not the planning. Just walk through forest and try to keep quiet & listen. Eventually something will find you - but in its own time, not yours.

348367[/snapback]

 

(I hope that quote works-sorry if not). ''go to the forest and shut up and listen'' is pretty much what i plan to do now, and hope something finds me in time.

 

Thanks so much for everyones opinions, i have a much clearer plan of what to do in the future now- or just how to follow my path even if it is still in the process of choosing me.

 

I can feel im going in the right direction now though and i guess thats the important thing.

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Bloody hell Raidho.  It took me a few years to get where you have in one!  Sounds like you've got it sussed.  There are many Pagans who follow the sort of path you are on, for goodness sake don't feel pressurised to change it if you do not feel the need.  Paganism can be about being rather than doing.

 

348390[/snapback]

 

 

Thanks so much! Its changed before and I slowly began loosing time and faith in general and the energy feeling faded... but after a few life changes (and boyfriend changes strangely) the 'feeling' came back twice as strong- your comment means so much to me because i finally feel im going back in the right direction and that something is calling me. I just can't wait to find out what.

 

thanks!

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  • 3 weeks later...

ahh i love that feeling! I think its good to touch, the rocks and trees, explore, but yes, also to sit quietly and listen.

 

I'm soo homesick!! lol

I miss the country horribly, where I used to live and felt so connected there.

It was sooo green, so county, rural.

 

hmm if i might suggest this, when you're out in nature, see if you recognize or keep seeing the same type of animal.. might be something you don't ordinarly see much.. I'm very into animal totems.. and welcome!

i come here on and off, when i can.. love this place.

 

Being pagan i always feel is special, esp when you're in touch w/ nature.

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  • 2 months later...

The experience you've described at Avebury sounds very much like something I've experienced quite frequently there and at similar sites. I was in fact at Avebury and also at White Horse Hill over the weekend.

 

Two major energy lines passing through the Avebury complex have been extensively mapped by Hamish Miller (see The Sun and the Serpent by Miller and Broadhurst) and verified by other people. I've done quite a bit of dowsing there myself and I've found Miller's energy lines and also other energy patterns.

 

Earth energy tends to produce the kind of bubbling you've described. It can be quite a light and `fast' energy. In other places it can be much stronger than you've experienced, though - a broader stream with a much stronger force. Most of the time it seems to be more gentle, though. Sometimes you need to detune from one kind of energy to retune to another.

 

It's interesting that some people here have also referred to meditation. I've found that earth energies are different from meditation energies - being localised in a place and not dependent on being raised within oneself - but the overall effect can be similar to meditation. When dowsing extensively in the grounds of Glastonbury Abbey (one of the places with a strong force of energy at some points) I felt afterwards very much as I'd feel if I'd been doing Buddhist Vipassana (mindfulness) meditation.

Edited by Sweep
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