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Experiences of Deity


Guest Uthain the Mad
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At the suggestion of Pomona I'd thought relate to you my own experiences with the Gods, or what I feel are experiences - I'm switched on enough to accept that given my life experiences there's a lot of mess in my unconscious mind and so it may be psychological, I just feel that it isn't pyschological, but honest opinion is always welcome.

 

With regards to the Gods calling me, I feel there is two possibly more that have cropped up repeatedly in my dreams (it's the only time I can switch my conscience mind off - ruddy thing won't stop yapping!). One is present regardless of the dream and I can feel her watching me. The feeling I get is that it is a Goddess, sympatheitic but not so much displeased as concerned and when I wake up my reaction is invariably "well that was interesting"

 

The second is an all together different kettle of fish, a presence that at first feels female but with male genitalia at times and is pushy, invasive and absolutely terrifying, when I wake up from this dream I am covered in cold sweats and not especially enamoured at the prospect of falling asleep again. Now I'm not sure if this is a single deity or two (one masquerading as another - are any of the Gods believed/known to do this?) Although the dream has not come back since I barked back at the presence "I'm a bleeping pagan so bleep off cos I'm not in the mood for this right now!"

 

However I've not discounted another potential contact which happened not long after my father died when I was walking the neighbour's dogs. I was walking near the Cenotaph on Portland where I grew up and above the Cenotaph I heard trumpets, and it was trumpets not klaxxons from the air station or quarries; and my eyes were drawn to a single cloud and I swear I saw something in the cloud but for the life of me I can not consciously recall what, maybe I wasn't ready at the time?

 

Insofar as emotional draw is concerned it is definitely towards the Gods of these islands, mainly the Brythonic (for want of a better phrasing) with a bias towards ancestral reverance. But I won't discount one of Gaelic, Norse or Saxon Gods trying to contact me because of my ancestry. I've always had a close affinity to the sea through my father who was in the Navy, and coming from a military family towards a war God (I regret not joining the army when I was younger, but given my mother lost her husband in war I really am not prepared to put her through the stress of seeing a son go off to war, for me to do so would be nothing short of selfish and disrespectful, yet I feel not following in my father's and grandfathers' footsteps is also selfish and disrespectful), but what matters most to me is family and friends, if they're happy I'm happy.

 

Please feel free to move this if it's in the wrong thread, and/or post your thoughts, comments and suggestions....I'm big enough and ugly enough to handle it, honest!

 

Best wishes

 

Uthain

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