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Affairs Of The Heart And Magic.


Guest Wynnfrith
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Is it fair for me to work magic to bring a special person back into my life?

 

I dont want to interfere with her free will and compel her back, I'm just sending out the energy to bring restoration to the relationship. I've simply been meditating on it and writing that intent on a candle every night to send that love out into the universe.

 

Is this even a spell?

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It's not fair, no. No matter how you phrase it, you want to manipulate someone else's emotions and coerce them into a relationship with you again. I would recommend you turn some of that love towards yourself and opening your heart to new possibilities which happen because the Fates have designed it so. You're more likely to find that one love coming your way :)

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I really do not wish to alter her current course... I just want our paths to come together again. Its hard when someone has played such a huge part in my life thats had so much love attached to it. I have a real heart bond with her and I know that will stay with me for the rest of my life... I am moving on and exploring new opportunities but that bond remains.

 

That said I will stop, I dont want to manipulate her... I know that course would end badly.

 

 

Many thanks.

Edited by Wynnfrith
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But - and here I must speak plainly - you don't know what *her* heart is currently. I do understand your pain, but your bond may only be one way - she may have severed her end of the bond. That's why you can't do anything except move on. It hurts, I know, but moving on like you plan to do is the best in the long run. If the Fates want you to be together again, it'll happen. But otherwise, as you say, leave her be.

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Is it fair for me to work magic to bring a special person back into my life?

 

I dont want to interfere with her free will and compel her back, I'm just sending out the energy to bring restoration to the relationship. I've simply been meditating on it and writing that intent on a candle every night to send that love out into the universe.

 

Is this even a spell?

 

I know you've already made a decision, but I'm feeling expansive. ;)

 

I suspect that your final question is an attempt to hide the truth from yourself, when you know that you intend it to be a spell. Along the lines of "if it quacks like a duck and waddles like a duck..." ;) When I do that, and realise I'm doing it, the next question has to be : why are you doing this? For me, simply realising I';m doing it brings the answer to that question,, I suspect it is the same for you, too, hun.

 

As to the matter: Pomona and I see eye to eye about the ethics of love magic, though others disagree. The main problem with such spells, is that, if you aren't being sincere with yourself, you're unlikely to properly address the issues. so, if you fudge "restoring the relationship" and dodge what you really mean, you could easily end up interfering with her free will.

 

I tried that, some years ago. and yes, I also fudged and dodged. I was very, very lucky - a goddess took pity on me and gave me a very different gift. It could so easily have gone pear shaped. I could have ended up with what I wanted... and then found I grew tiored of him, when he was still bound by the spell. Disseverence spells can be tricky buggers.: like the original love spell, you can end up with unintended consequences. :(

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I think part of it is wanting to save her from herself as she is going down a very self-destructive path with someone who is using her. I know we will come back together again, I'm trying to save myself from dealing with the aftermath of what she is currently doing.

 

I guess she has to learn these lessons and I need to learn to let her.

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I guess she has to learn these lessons and I need to learn to let her.

 

Yes. And sometimes we decive ourselves by wanting to believe the Desired will return after damage. If so does, hun, try not to permit desire to make you her victim. It's too easy (I speak from sour experience) to permit oneself to be far too accommodating.

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I guess she has to learn these lessons and I need to learn to let her.

It's too easy (I speak from sour experience) to permit oneself to be far too accommodating.

 

To be honest thats what was wrong... I've learned that lesson since we parted. I need to look after my own emotional well-being in the relationship instead of just hers... Despite knowing this I still have the attachment. Grrrrrrr :(

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I'd say the real magic was in writing this down and being able to look at my dependence!

 

Thank you all very much x

Edited by Wynnfrith
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Hey, I may be throwing a cat among the pigeons here, and it's not really the same situation at all. But this is happened when me and my boyfriend got together...

We met and were clearly both into each other but both being shy really took our time, we were not 'officially' an item but were speaking on the phone every day and meeting up quite regularly.. When suddenly he stopped contacting me.. I didn't know what it was about, I had made a phone call he didn't return and sent a text he hadn't replied to and I didn't want to push it and I wasn't his girlfriend anyway so didn't feel I had any right to chase him up.. So I left it.. But I had a strong feeling that I would see him again.. I wasn't worried that I wouldn't but I was a bit worried about what was going on..

I wanted to make something for him, to keep a connection.. I made a REALLY complicated knotted patterned friendship bracelet it had about 15 thin strands I think and it took literally weeks to finish, every day I would be knotting as I sat on the train and it kept me positive about the whole situation and I felt that I was doing something for him, I thought about him whilst making it.. Anyway.. I literally JUST finished it and I was just wondering if I could find his work address online and post it to him there without seeming too creepy (yep, may have seemed slightly stalkerish) when he called me out of the blue! Anyway we got together and are still together 8 years later! :-)

Was that a spell? My flat mate witnessed the moment and literally said "that is just a little bit too much like magic" I actually hadn't thought of it that way until after she said that..

Anyway.. It turned out he had been in a very bad way with depression whilst not contacting me, I don't really know what it was that triggered him to call me but I know he is glad he did.. If finishing the bracelet triggered the call.. If I had known it would I would have knotted quicker and for longer to finish sooner.

 

Anyway.. Not saying you should or shouldn't work magic when it comes to matters of the heart. I think it depends on the situation. Sounds like you have now focused on moving on rather than bringing things back and maybe that is for the best. You never know what or who could be waiting around the corner for you.

:)

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I know you have made a decision (which I support!) but I thought I would add my two pen'orth anyway, and it is strange, because I was thinking about this just the other day!

 

6 years ago (feels like less time now, but still like an age) I started working at a pub and one day some guy walked in and we just clicked, instantly. I never believed in love at first sight until then, but that is exactly what it was. Anyway, it carried on over the summer and he would visit me 3 or 4 times a week at work and would spend literally the whole night. Anyway, one day I was just on my way out and he was on his way back in and I said something, which conveyed completely the wrong message (I didn't even think at the time!) and he stopped visiting me :(. I saw him once again after that and he almost completely avoided me. Well, I was kicking myself and I had just started a new job which meant I didn't work at the pub so much. It actually sent me into a whirlwind of depression which still continues to this day (don't get me wrong other, more serious, events have occurred since to keep this thing going) and I got so bad, I kind of fixated on the point that if he came back into my life everything would be so much better (including everything else that went belly up in the interim) so I toyed with the idea of doing some magic to bring him back. And I mean, I toyed with the idea for maybe about 6 months before finally just deciding not to as it would go against everything I believe in (I must stress, I was scraping the bottom of the barrel - I just wanted to feel happy again). About the same time, I tried tracking him down on Facebook (definitely stalkerish) and I discovered that he was actually engaged to be married. Boy am I glad that I didn't perform that spell, because if it had worked, I would never ever have forgiven myself for toying in matters I definitely shouldn't have and for potentially ruining someone else's life. Anyway, since then I have been working (both physically and spiritually) on improving my own sense of worth and self esteem, and I have heard they are very happily married :)

 

I know it isn't the same situation, but my point was...well I don't exactly know what it is, its in there somewhere :)

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Personally I don't believe "should" or "shouldn't". I don't believe ethics can be dictated by anyone but yourself. We are all told that influencing another is a "very bad thing" but don't we do that all day, every day anyway? Our every mundane action will influence others in some way. You can't escape it, and I don't see any reason that you should necessarily avoid it. In my view, it's about whether you can live with yourself afterwards or not. Yes, there are arguments against doing things which could harm someone or which are done to deliberately harm someone, but you aren't setting out to do anything other than spread a little love and make yourself and her happy - or at least that is your hope.

 

Having said that, I'd echo what MH says about your deeper reasons for asking the question in the first place. Also, I'd ask you to think about exactly why you drifted away in the first place, and whether, having brought her back to you, the same thing might happen again and you'd remember all the reasons it didn't work in the first place. And then breaking the magic you did in the first place would be even more difficult!

 

Basically, I think it's always best to think carefully and deeply about your reasons and the possible outcomes before undertaking any magic of the kind... but I don't believe anyone has the right to tell you that you shouldn't unless you have explicitly given them that power over you (e.g. if you had a spiritual leader and your relationship with them included them telling you what is right and wrong).

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Not dictating to anyone what they should or should not do but IME, doing magic is far more than influencing an outcome in a mundane situation. A magical act is employing powers outside of oneself, whether drawing in natural energy from around you or invoking deity to assist. Therefore, whatever magical act is contemplated, it is surely only approriate to consider all the consequences and, in particular, whether the outcome is purely selfish. I have explained elsewhere on the forum what is important to me in considering working magic and I'll not repeat that. However, if anyone asks me to do a "love spell" , it would take a great deal of discussion and exploration before I would do it and I seldom get to that stage!

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Wynnfrith,

 

I hope that your grief is easing by now.

 

But for others who may be affected by this thread:

 

Why magic? What on earth has this to do with magic? If you can't talk to her then nothing else is going to work.

Move on.

 

I saw this on an office wall:

 

If you love something let it go.

If it returns to you it is yours.

If it does not then it never was.

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Perhaps writing this down and being truly able to see how I was feeling, the effect of this on me was more effective for me than anything else I have done.

 

Been able to pack things away so she is not ever-present in my day to day life, thats helping.

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Wynnfrith,

 

I hope that your grief is easing by now.

 

But for others who may be affected by this thread:

 

Why magic? What on earth has this to do with magic? If you can't talk to her then nothing else is going to work.

Move on.

 

I saw this on an office wall:

 

If you love something let it go.

If it returns to you it is yours.

If it does not then it never was.

 

Why... Desperation and my spirits desire to hang on to something beautiful that it was part of. Letting go is a hard thing to do when you are the one let go of and feelings are left unresolved. The desire to put enough energy out into the universe to somehow call the other person back I think is understandable if somewhat misguided.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Been working with Aphrodite on emotional healing in this area and I guess starting this thread helped me open that door.

 

Thank you everyone.

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