Okay, so I wrote this a while back because I had someone ask me how to describe my feelings.
This last year has been a proper rough one for me, extremely testing in many ways. However I have also found something amazing and have tried, rather clumsily in my opinion to put it into words.
Please find it below, and please don't cringe too much; I know i did while reading it back after I'd written it!
People are more resilient than we give ourselves credit for.
We can go through so much pain and suffering, so much trauma and darkness that your feelings and heart can become so small, locked away inside a chest that is heavy, heavy with the weight of overwhelming grief and sadness that it feels the whole world is crushing you . But just one small thing, one random circumstance that changes everything, or just one person can mend all of that hurt and make you able to feel again.
Feelings are like scales. Sadness is the heavier emotion; negative emotions weigh you down and drag you into murky waters that you get trapped in, unable to breathe. But positive emotions are so light, yet they have the ability to bring you up out of those waters and bring you up into the sky, above the grey clouds and into the light of the sun. Positive emotions are liberating, they can set you free.
We can take so much pain and sorrow, harbour so much anger and regret – yet all it takes at times is the love of just one person, the outcome of one situation to allow us to rise up from the darkness and step back into the light. The love of one person can make you feel like you can conquer the world. The love of one person can transform, allow you to heal and show you just how much you mean to them, and to the world. And once you’ve had that, it’s impossible to forget.
True love is something that is different for every person, and yet I feel that if I tried to put mine into words I would fall utterly short. It’s everything and more, but it defies explanation.
To understand it, it has to be experienced. To be appreciated, it must be reciprocated. To be sustained it must be cherished and guarded, yet to be explained? It cannot be defined. It cannot be written down, not entirely. It cannot be spoken, as words dry your throat out and your brain can’t find the right ones.
To say that it falls short of description is the best definition.