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Monica Soto

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How Did Your Partners/family Deal With Paganism?

Guest Helen Lea

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Isrith - of course. I'm not that devoid of a sense of humour! It's a little dry and occasionally comes over as a tad cynical, but don't take everything (or not necessarily even anything) that I say seriously...

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  • 1 month later...
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My family are very loosely Christian. And i mean very loose, they believe God created the Earth, they believe in Jesus, but for the most part they don't really bother about it. Mum used to be a bit worried about it, mostly because she had no idea what was involved, but when she found out it was mostly me chanting, burning incense and candles and tinkering with mojo bags etc she decided it was nothing to worry about. I won't deny that i get some funny looks at family gatherings but on the whole as long as you buy your round the family isn't too worried what you get up to.


As for partners, well my first boyfriend was a Kabbalistic High Mage, prone to jumping me whenever i'd emerge from the altar room. I've had boyfriends who did not want to know, boyfriends who had no opinion one way or another, and a couple of boyfriends who were madly turned on by it. The reactions have all been positive or neutral. Gods help the first boyfriend i have who has a problem with my Witchery because he won't be a boyfriend for long.

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I have been very lucky in that I come from a totally non-religious parental family. Not anti-religious or militant atheist or anything like that, just religion was a non-entity as far as my parents and my upbringing was concerned. I have been "wyrd" from early on and was very in-your-face as teenager; so at age 13/14 I was known as witch and feminist at school. (Needless to say I was a total outsider and loner, which suited me well enough.)

My first partner knew me as Pagan and Witch -- the latter scared him though. My OH knew also from the beginning that I am Pagan and a Witch -- I could not live with anybody who is not comfortable with me being me. Like Pomona's hubby, mine wasn't Pagan to begin with, but grew into being one rather naturally; he also isn't the theistic, cultivating type -- in that he's totally different to me. I have been through a lot of soul-searching and path-finding during the 10 years we have been together, and at that has been not always easy for him. Everyone who's close to me knows I'm a [Hindu] Shakta and Roman-Germanic Pagan. (Only my partner and very close friends know I'm a witch, though.) My son's school knows I raise him in Hindu and Pagan way, as we have exempted him from RE -- on his own insistence -- and now I have to provide him with "religious educational material" for the weekly RE lesson to work through on his own, which he's surprisingly happy to do. Some people at work know I'm Hindu (because they asked) but really there's no real understanding for anything which is not either christian or non-religious, and I don't bother. I'm really glad I have nothing to do with religious people. Not that I have a problem with them living their way -- live and let live -- but I couldn't be bothered with their "concerns" and attempts of conversion as I hear from Pagans who do have those problems.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Seeing as I was born into an Evangelical Christian family with my parents as the ministers, any deviation from the one true God was going to be difficult.


My dad has been dead 25 years now but mum is still God fearing Blood and Fire & temperence believer so it not a subject i bring up as I have no wish to cause her further grief as leaving the Church was bad enough.


My token gesture was to make a comment on facebook that i'm now following a Heathen Path. I tried to make it lighter by suggesting honouring the Gods by feasting and merrymaking seemed a great way of practicing religion.

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    • Nettle
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    • Nettle
      I have several. Stone rabbit is one of my guides. He is a stone around the size of a medium sized hand, that is in the shape of a rabbits head (in profile) that I found many years ago and kept. On one side he has a mark that looks like an open eye, on the other side it looks as if he has lost that eye. Stone rabbit is master at navigating mazes/webways. When I want him to see something within the mundane I turn his head so his eye can observe. If I am going on a journey I have his lost eye side observing. He comes on my walks with me and I carry him in a bag around my neck.
    • Roundtuit
      Thank you.  Yes, I'm starting to think it's the journey that matters.   What a gorgeous image!  I'd love to get back to the fells, there's something new around very corner there.    
    • Stonehugger
      I've had varying degrees and natures of commitment to Christianity since I was at school but I've also always had pagan leanings and for quite a long time now my path has been entirely pagan. It's unproblematic in that my family and friends think it's harmless eccentricity, but I imagine it would be different if I took a strongly pagan stance on something. For me personally it's important to listen to what's going on around me and work out my path accordingly, so I celebrate the presence of many paths up the same mountain and have no concerns about reaching the top. I imagine that, like almost any walk in the fells, what currently looks like the top is just another place to see the next top from. Definitely!! ūüėĀ
    • Ellinas
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