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Briton

Winter Humour

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Briton

Because winter is a pretty dismal time. Shorter days, often no snow but rain and mud, and when snow does come it's usually hectic as helheim trying to get anywhere. And it's bloody expensive. So, jokes relating to winter and winter celebrations here! I'll start:

 

What do sheep celebrating mid-winter?

 

wool-tide.

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Jasmin

For those of us who are prone to anthropomorphism

 

 

What exams do penguins take in year 11?

 

 

 

"Snow Levels"

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Phoenix63

Santa's alphabet has one letter missing. It has Noel.

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Ember Autumn Rose

What kind of pizza is Santa's favourite?

 

Deep pan, crisp and even...

 

*collective groan* ;)

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Jasmin

Why does Santa"s Sleigh get an MOT on Christmas Eve?

 

 

"elf and safety"

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Badger Bob

I was on the train home when a guy in edwardian dress spits beer all over me and says "that was ******* horrible" in a Norwegian accent.

 

Apparently rude Olf the Ted loathes train beer...

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Briton

What kind of pizza is Santa's favourite?

 

Deep pan, crisp and even...

 

*collective groan* ;)

 

Best Christmas joke I think I've ever heard.

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gazzajanimal

What's Santa's wifes' name? Mary. Mary Christmas!

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Dragonborne

You're all mad (but in a nice way ) lol

 

Edited by Dragonborne
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Ember Autumn Rose

What do penguins like to have for their tea?

Iceberg-ers xD

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Ian Hillbeck

The Indians asked their Chief in Autumn if the Winter was going to be cold or not.

Not really knowing an answer, the chief replies that the Winter was going to be cold with lots of snow and that the members of the village were to collect wood to be prepared.

Being a good leader, he then went to the next phone booth and called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter to be cold?"

The man on the phone responded, "This Winter is going to be quite cold indeed."

So the Chief went back to speed up his people to collect even more wood to be prepared.

A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Is it going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes", the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold Winter." So the Chief goes back to his people and orders them to go and find every scrap of wood they can find.

Two weeks later he calls the National Weather Service again: "Are you absolutely sure that the Winter is going to be very cold?" "

Absolutely," the man replies, "the Indians are collecting wood like crazy!"

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